It's over

Finally,the funeral was over yesterday and right after that I came back to KL immediately.Managed to catch some rest cos I'd not been sleeping since Tuesday and it went on Wednesday midnight where few of us including me have to watch over the altar overnight although I accidentally fell asleep for an hour but ended up with many mosquito bites.The funeral was very mournful and full of sorrow.Although my godma seems to acting very strong but at times she would be dazed with teary eyes.Therefore,we were trying our very best to cheer her up by keep on talking to her.As for my godpa,he seems more agitated and sadder apparently and through out the whole ceromony,he was weeping or if not,teary red eyes.Nevertheless,they both looked haggard and tired.It's like my heart have been torn into million of pieces and burst into tears whenever seeing them in this state.Heaven has made a greatest joke on them!

During the whole night,my heart was puzzled and seems that most of us are unwilling to accept her death or at least couldn't believe what has happened in front of them.It happened too fast.When I peered into the coffin,I was really astounded and couldn't believe my own eyes.Is she the godsis/cousin I used to have lying lifeless inside?Is she the ever gentle,polite,kind and chatty godsis/cousin I used to have?Why was she lying inside and her look almost deformed...again I couldn't help but cried pointlessly!She was only so young...should we accept and compromise to the statement that this is all predestinated?

And yesterday morning,all of us chanted matra for her one last time to make our last tribute for her.Then,they called me and my godbro to make offering to her one last time before they sealed the coffin.That moment really is really the worst in my life.Then the coffin was brought to a van and sent to the cremation room followed my the mourning team behind.Where we chanted mantra once again and then watched the coffin went into the cremation furnace helplessly and the worse add on was we were advised not to cry during that moment in order to let her soul go peacefully and able to rest in peace.Both her parents were not being allowed to present at the cremation ceromony due to some superstitious belief.And all the elderly and older generation had to stand behind too...and the cruellest thing is I was told to stand at the most front position.I was trying my very best to hold back my tears but I keep on hearing my relatives sniveling behind me and couldn't control but dropped some tears while holding the joss stick.

Now that all has over.And I think Ern Hao will be rest in peace in Heaven and standing by the buddhas side.We assume that she's happy now.One thing to affirm,she will live in our heart always and forever,and we will always remember we used to have this good and nice Ern Hao as one of our family members.

This time around,I have to suppress my sorrow and resume my revisions again.Time to gambate once again...

~It's over now~

In loving memory of a bright young girl...

Just received a bad news on this early morning,

Ern Hao left us peacefully at 5.00 am,

She don't have to suffer any longer and she's probably somewhere in heaven by the buddhas' side watching at us and bless us for what we're doing,maybe a fairy?

Of course I'll say that she's qualified to be a fairy given that she's a gentle,soft-spoken,polite,temper-less and kind girl we used to have.

Hope she can rest in peace.Maybe she had found a better way for her and also for us.

Maybe that's the reason that I can't cry at all so far since this morning,I cried for several times last week when heard that her condition is getting worse and worse each day.I don't know,I feel very helpless and I actually puzzled when I received this mishap his morning.My mind was confusing and it all happened in such rapid of time where I still remember few months back where we were still having fun and chatting.Now,I don't know what to do,to cry or not to?It's so messy...

Maybe I should call up papa later to send him my deepest condolence before I go back to attend her funeral.I hate to see this...!

Why her life ended so fast and in fact she's only in her sweet 22,she haven't even live her life to fullest.It's only a quarter of her lifespan,now,her dream and fantasy just eliminate follow by her departure...she could have dreamt of having a once-in-life-time wedding gown on just like all other girls fantasizing.She may pursue further to have a complete and blissful family with kids...However,it all went off like bubbles,vanish into the thin air.I hope she won't felt regret about having all of us as her family and relatives.The most essential thing is that she can leave peacefully without anything left behind...although there are so many things undone for her!

Once again,

You will always in our remembrance no matter how,just wanna let you know that we love you and you'll never ever walking alone.

Now,you have gone to a faraway place.In fact a place that we'll all have to go one day,despite,you are there sooner than us.

REST IN PEACE

~In our loving memory of Lim Ern Ho (1984-2006) ~

Life and Dealth

Just receive some bad news from JB saying that this 2 days will be the crucial period for Ern Hao to either survive or ...leave all of us.

Cos she's unable to discharge her urine due to kidney failure(yea,the virus has spread to her kidney now causing it to be malfunctioned).But they said that further diagnosis need to be taken prior to this conclusion.OMG!

Basically the doctor said,this 2 days are exceptionally important to determine whether she can be able to continue ahead her still-long-and-sweet's journey of life.So,this 2 days is very dangerous for her.In a nutshell,she could have just leave us at every second from now on until the end of 2 days or well,it's hard to say too as this kinda thing is beyond any prediction and expectation...it's uncertainty.For us we can't do anything but pray for every single second that she may recover soon and have fun with us once again like before...really helpless and depressing.

Here's some details of TB found from Wikipedia :

~TB (short for tuberculosis and also for Tubercle Bacillus)

~Tuberculosis (commonly shortened to TB) is an infection caused by the bacterium Mycobacterium tuberculosis, which most commonly affects the lungs (pulmonary TB) but can also affect the central nervous system (meningitis), lymphatic system, circulatory system (Miliary tuberculosis), genitourinary system(this is why she failed to discharge her toxics through urinary system due to kidney's failure), bones and joints.

Tuberculosis is one of the most deadly and common major infectious diseases today, infecting two billion people, or approximately one-third ( WHO TB.) of the world's population. Nine million new cases of the disease, resulting in two million deaths, occur annually, mostly in developing countries. However, developed countries are not spared the burden of tuberculosis. There is a rising number of people in the developed world who contract tuberculosis because they have compromised immune systems, typically as a result of immunosupressive drugs or HIV/AIDS. These people are at particular risk of tuberculosis infection and active tuberculosis disease.

Most of those infected (90%) have asymptomatic latent TB infection (LTBI). There is a 10% lifetime chance that LTBI will progress to TB disease which, if left untreated, will kill more than 50% of its victims. TB is one of the top four infectious killing diseases in the world: TB kills 2 million, and malaria kills 1 million.

The neglect of TB control programs, HIV/AIDS, and immigration has caused a resurgence of tuberculosis. Multiple drug resistant strains of TB (MDR-TB) and Extreme Drug-Resistance in Tuberculosis (XDR-TB) are emerging. The World Health Organization declared TB a global health emergency in 1993, and the Stop TB Partnership proposed a Global Plan to Stop Tuberculosis which aims to save an additional 14 million lives between 2006 and 2015.

Flame again...

Once again,

That piece of confusion in my mind has flamed itself out of nowhere...

I'm started to feeling miserable for my future prospect again.No no!It's not yet reaching the stage of choosing a job whatsoever but what to study after accomplished my very Pre-U studies(of cos with result above credit and falls somewhere in distinction :p).LOL,it's a must however...

Moving on,

Then,no matter how,still gotta continue with my degree studies after A-Levels.If you still haven't come into sense,that's the greatest and only thing I've been worrying about so far after SPM...shame on me!I'm a ever-loser when it comes to the time to make some big decision.

Yes,whatever,life goes on!

I found some courses description from Uni. of Toronto(Canada) yesterday and found quite a few not-a-bad-deal's courses which sounds somewhat "appealing" to me,here they are:

Science:
1. BioInformatic and Computational Biology
2.Life Sciences(major in Toxicology)
3.Environmental Studies(Chemistry option)
4.Psychology

Business and Commerce:
1.Actuarial Science
2.Economics

Ok,although people may have doubt that given I'm in the art stream currently but I'll most probably going to take up American Degree Prog. once again after my A-Levels studies.That will be the most economical and less time consuming way of "migrating" back to the sweet nest of sciences.I won't allow myself to start all over again by resiting any shorter Pre-U studies like CIMP,AUSMAT,MUFY,SAM,ICPU...although they need only one year but it just doesn't sounds right for me and wasted all that what I've been done in A-Levels.ADP is the last resort...

As for Actuarial Science,it might seems impossible for me to venture into that but I can't deby that everything has its possibility.I know it's tough for this course but since it touches on Statistics and Probability/Calculus,it won't bother me too much given that I've already experienced all that subjects in my life.Calculus may be a nightmare without motivation and continuous effort but it's not hard to get both of them afterall right?

On the other hand,Economics is the bestest arts subject I've been encountered so far in my miserable life of A-Levels.Since once again,it really no way to be excluded from the fate of linking itself with Calculus.I'll have to compromise and accept the challenges from Calculus...I can't escape from the fact that it really very important in N.American education system!

That's my latest update of degree options.Later will have to have a family conference again to tell my parents about the outcome.

Headache...*smack forehead*

Overjoyed when the dead end has yet to reach...

First and foremost,I have to express my deeply contriteness for not doing any study today where I'm suppose to do so given that my AS is around the corner.In addition,I think I have quite a lot of tutorial to rush for in order to pass up on or before the due date.Now,look at me,I didn't have any one of them done so far.It hit me hard when come to realise that today is already Sunday,3 more weeks for AS(no more mock this time,die means die...).Gosh,I'm damn sinful now for being not study at all yesterday.Punish me please for god's sake so that I can get good result for AS!!!I'll do anything as long as I can repay and amend it...

...it also reminds me that I shouldn't take any fast food anymore.These few days were all about McD,KFC,LongJohn,Pizza...*pukes*...!Tell me there're still good and nice food on earth please.I miss seafood,I miss laksa,I miss Egg Tart...KL's foods sucks except for Mdm. Kwan!Now,the worst food on earth is PizzaHut,I used to love cheezy stuff very much but once I ate PizzaHut and after that Cheeze will be a forbidden for few months...that kinda over-filling and sickish symptom after eting PizzaHut really freaks me out for that deserved long period.Unfortunately,I can't stop puking whenever PizzaHut or Mamak comes into my mind,not forgetting the foods around SYUC...

Apparently,I thought watching a couple of movie might be able to relief some exam's tension.In fact,not at all.It's more of negative effects...watched "Ultraviolet" last few days.At first,I thought,wow!That'll be cool watching Milla Jovovich in actions,where hoping that it might be something like Resident Evil,Aeon Flux,Underworld...again...a greatest joke on earth.Pls dun be blindfolded by their trailer or any of their "cool"poster...it's just another nice marketing strategy only!The fact is that the movie was over exaggerating and surreal which more of things like animation.Imagine a sexy girl fight against 700 fully armoured army troops and her weapons are all hiding inside her body invisibly,the worst is they're unexhaustable.Bah...!Wasting my time and cost me a warning letter from hostel management.But no doubt,Milla looks even sexier when she's transformed into some kinda "utraviolet" theme of attire along with light purple hair.That really saves my day...in fact one of the scene when she's riding a hightechy chopper(or maybe is motorbike) while racing off the street with stunning actions,coincidently,it really looks like the one in Ayu's Startin's PV.In fact the similarity is almost 99.99%.Maybe that's the reason that makes it worthwhile for the tic. :p

...Watched a very lame cartoon movie "The Wild".I feel that I'm a bit childish after watching that show.Not much of ooh-aah despite some excessive idiotic/lamey funny scenes which doesn't makes sense at all...*sigh*...Disney,shame on you!We need things like Pocahontas,Monster Inc. and yada-yada once more.Can we?

I've been wasting a lot of time now...Sunday will be the time for me to rush for all my tutorials and studies or else I'll be perished.

Oh ya,I heard that my grandpa fell down last few days and had some stitches of 12.Hope nothing further will happen cos he's already in his 101!And also Ern Hao still hardly got any progression and recovery so far that has been 2 weeks since she's lying in critical condition.

Let's pray for them and me as well once more...

Hopeless

So I was wondering what to do for this weekend...

...

Well,basically it's like practically nothing at all.

The anticipated flute class had cancelled for unknown reason and in fact that's suppose to be out 1st lesson.

A stack of books on my desk which really taken most my time.Now they're calling me again...

Everyday gotta eat at the same place and similar food.

Suffering from the adverse side-effects that persistently contribute by the ever-yellowish highly polluted hostel's water.

Mood-O-meter hitting the lowest point.Seriouly,nothing can turn me up accept for someone that can come and tell me,"hey,terrorists bomb SYUC and there's nothing but the few huge pillars left...".Of cos they can't bomb the hostel cos I'm HERE!

JUz received a warning letter from the hostel management becos of I came back late(1:27 am) on Thursday(breached one of the regulation states in the contract?!bummer...).Somehow,I feel nothing wrong to blame cos I juz happened to watch a midnight movie in Pyramid and came back right after that.Stupid security guards and Mr. Tan(lamest on earth).If only I can take over the management rights one day,I'll have the curfew lifted!Pointless...kick me out anytime if u feel like doing so!

Of late,have been spending time working out the Photoshop and Illustrator,hope to do something surreal yet artistic digital artwork.Below's are few of my beginner level's "masterpiece"...kinda pointless anyway but I like it!

*yawn*

Time to hit the bed for a nap cos hardly slept for the past few days and finally we finished off our Moral presentation.But we have Moral exam coming soon...arghhh!

Tell me life is full of hopes please T.T

Life in mono - mono

The stranger sang a theme,
From someone else's dream
The leaves began to fall
And no one spoke at all
But I can't seem to recall
When you came along

Ingenue,
Ingenue,
I just don't know what to do

The tree-lined avenue
Begins to fade from view
Drowning past regrets
In tea and cigarettes
But I can't seem to forget
When you came along

Shattered...

Will my life be any diffrence from now on?
What does the future hold?
What am I living my days for?
Have I ever achieve anything greatest in life?

For me...

The story just left unknown...

Utter disappointed and perished!

It's just so utterly disappointed and depressing...

Screwed up my Pure Maths. 1 like hell,it's like the REAL hell.And the things that spread salt to the wound is that I actually re-do all the question far before I get back my result and discovered that,it's all easy peasy questions,c'mon Form 5 standard only k?!!!I was so stimulate and sensitive of this "form 5" words,as if people might think it's a shame to do bad given that it's only "form 5" standard.Screw u,u think I got that kinda time to revise back all the SPM Add. Maths. book issit?

But I admit it's kinda shame too but that doesn't mean that I'll do bad for the rest of that.It's only once-and-for-all!!!My exam skills sucks,I hate to do thing with time limit and spontaneouly.I need time...

Well,maybe my mental processing is a bit "torpid" but doesn't mean that I'm a dumbass.I hate generalisation...It sucks!

Give me time,I'll prove u wrong SOON!

On the other hand,

Case 1:
I'm a bit disappointed for Law too as I misunderstood 2 essay questions where I left out the whole part that the question require me to write at the beginning.I concentrated at the 2nd part only cos I thought the question requires only the 2nd part.

Case 2:
The other one is I for nothing add in additional yet unwanted points to my essay to prolong the length but in fact the question didn't requires me to do so...why I'm so confident then?Fuck up...I thought they need those points which stated in the question!Damn confusing...

I'm fucking paradox...

Econs.
MCQ still quite satisfy overall.But then I actually draw the wrong diagram(DD/SS graph) and misinterpret it...there goes my precious marks that will lead me to a distinction grade T.T

As for the essays part,things aren't going that well too due to my under-length essay answers.My mind was in total blank slate that time and I squeezed all my grey matter still couldn't think of any good points for that.Cos none of them in our class knows how to write that question.For me,I dunno why the hell would I chose that question out of 3 questions given...so damn bummer and annoying now!I totally didn't put hope on the essays section AT ALL right after I finish that paper!I'm waiting and expectng for the worst scenario to come...

Wish me good luck then...!

~There's still hardly any progression and recovery on my TB affected's cousin sis. as the days go by,we are getting more worry.When can she wake up and talk to us again,and when can she be free from critical condition's period?This answer yet no one can tell,only the heaven knows...we just gonna continue to pray for her everyday and wish for a speedy recovery.God bless her~!

After so many mishaps and incidents,I thought finally might be able to put my heart on AS revision,fat hope it is indeed,Moral Studies are like unceasingly pestering us again after resting for a week during mock exam time.Now again,our preparation for the coming presentation on this Thursday resume.In such a short of time,we are forced to do so many things like preparing slide show,additional notes to present,wat to wear during presentation,how to compile all our files that we do seperately at first,how to add on decoration for the things that going to present and you name it!!!Like tonnes of mountain of jobs gesturing and waving to us...pui!Sien lor!

Now,the only option,vision,destination or whatsoever for me is to do well in my AS.Hence,I need super sufficient of time to struggle for last minute's preparation(4 more weeks to go @.@~).So,do u think I got the time to bother about the annoying's Moral Presentation.My ass of cos not,I'll just simply cover up my tasks for Moral Studies without giving it a fucking damn.I'd done my part,the rest is up 2 u all.I don't care for any decoration thingy,tactic of presenting in order to win the spectators' heart,how loud of volume should I adjust to my voice and whatsoever.It's all pointless of doings where the lecturer will just care about whether to pass u or not?So,it's a matter of to past or not to rite?Just pass it decently is enough I think given that we're really lack of time at this very moment!Who cares a lot of that presentation now?Whatever will be,will be...

Fight for victory in AS is what most the right thing we should do now.No time for others bcos afterall "success is my only mother-fucking option"... (quoted from Terence :p )

PS:Seriously dun hav much time left now,so really hav to cut down my blogging amount here.No kidding man.Again,not much time left,please be serious and concerned about this matter...

Time's (almost) up!

~~study(hard) mode ON~~

Along with full-tanked fighting spirit!!!!

Against all odds,brave the evil,overcome yourself!

It's been a week since Ern Hao admitted hospital lying in coma...

There isn't any progression so far which really makes all of us so much in anxiety and desperation.

As what human nature tells,I've been covered my face with tears for several times so far (in dark...).I think I haven't been crying since after my primary 6 until now,I can't hold back my tears anymore when think of the worst scenario that'll happen.

My Papa and Mama in J.B. are so desperate and upset now as I could hear during our conversation the phone yesterday.I couldn't even bring myself to talk any longer to them as I just don't wish to weep in front of them due to the purpose of that call I'd made.I suppose to give them encouragement and moral support to tell them to look on the bright side where things gonna be alright soon,if I cry,for sure the consequences wouldn't be just what I'm planning of...But soon after I hung up the phone,I cried like no one else and who says guy shouldn't cry (although I'm bigger in size than the usual one)!I'm made of flesh and blood along with emotional implanted ok?

I totally mood-less for these few days after I heard this bad news.

And today,

things getting not that well as my mum called up to tell us that the doctor had already said that the situation is going to be bad and not what we've been expecting for so far...she had just gone through an operation this morning and the doctor advised us to be prepared for the worst because the chances for her to life are getting lesser.The conclusion is made right after the operation...it really dampens our spirit heavily once again!Before that her heart has stopped to beat for twice but fortunately saved by the doctor...

Now,we can't do anything but pray hard for her...

Hope that she can recover and give us some response...

At this moment,my feeling is very complicated,I'm very afraid of any telephone ring or phone call from JB.They're just so undesireable at this very moment...

Each time the phone ring,our heartbeat go faster and we gotta take deep breath in order to answer the call...

It's torturing but it can't be compared to my dearest godsis that lying on the bed fighting with the disease(it's Tibi,which sounds very rare in our country as this sickness often happens in the poorer country.Now we all suspect that maybe she was iinfected during the time when she was working as a tourist guide where she had many close contact with foreigners.)

Now,I feel that the day has passes in too slow of pace.

Time seems to stop and refuse to move any further.

We are very desperate at this moment too which lead us to strong anxiety.We don't even dare to tell my Papa and Mama the outcome of the operation by doctor.

We left them room for hopes.So as we.

~God bless Ern Hao against every bad things~

Hope there will be good news and progression tomorrow.

Nitez~

Please be strong and keep your life going...

*Pls be solemn*

Called my mum just now and received a very shocking unfortunately news from them :

ERN HAO (my dear cousin sister cum my god sister)

She's admitted hospital for contracting Tibi and saying that it's already 3rd stage.The chances to live is only 50 : 50 ...

I was totally stunned for 5 minutes or more,tears almost burst out...

Her respiratory system doesn't function well now and in aid of the respiratory machine(<---forgot what's the name for it).

She's warded in Johor Specialist now,the medical fees are bound to be exorbitant by the way from what I heard,4 days Rm30 000 spent!

She seems so well during CNY despite looking haggard.She's a devoted buddhist,soft spoken,gentle,hardworking,well-manner and filial girl.Infact,she's the most for those among all our cousins...

Why should thing like this happens on such a good girl?I know this is life and heaven's will but why don't this thing happens on all the bad people out there instead of this harmless girl here?

It's just so unfair and absurd...

I don't wish to see any bad thing happens to my closest friends and relatives at this moment and even forever if possible.It's better that I depart first than experiencing that kinda pain on losing them one after another.

I don't believe in faith and destiny somehow that determine this,life is in our own hand and only we ourselves know how to handle it at its best.

So,Ern Hao,please be strong.Establish your will to live on.Don't let Papa,Mama,Ern Sien,Ah Bao,Ah Wen gogo,Ah Mah and all the relatives down because no matter how we will stay by your side.You not gonna lose us,neither we gonna lose you.

We will pray for your recovery at every moment.Please do us a flavour,fight against the disease and those undesired things that dampen your will!Please do that...!

You still gotta move to your new house(very much near to my present residential area),and I'm very looking forward to hangout at your new house...

And that's not even enough,we still gonna gamble with you on the next CNY and win all your money...But if you promise to overcome yourself,we'll let you be the winner for 10 consecutive CNY!And so do mahjong...

Just promise us that you will be strong and don't give up!

PS : My mum say that all of us that having close contact with Ern Hao will have to undergo medical check up soon to ensure that we are all safe.PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE.People please go for check up once you knew that something not right on you even if it's very insignificant.Like the case of my godsister,the doctor diagnosed that she's been having the disease in her lung since last year when it's still in early stage and she did experiencing persistent coughing for quite some time but she didn't seek for a licensed and qualified professional doctor instead of Chinese SinSeh and took the traditional remedy.This is a wrongful example which can't be rely on,Chinese traditional herbs are mostly not scientifically proven to be effective.Any problem please go for the Clinic or Hospital before it's too late...

I just happen to realise that life is so vulnerable and unpredictable,cherish it...

Today is a day,tomorrow still a day.

Haiz...just here to release some tension!
.
.
.
.
.
Aiya,no need to say lah!Sure know wat happens rite?
.
.
.
What else can it be other than the mock exam?

Prettey much disappointed and depressing lor...as how would u feel if those question u thought are very important usually fail to present in front u when u browsing through ur exam's sheet?

and

When u know u can do it but realise u did wrong after the exam,they were just a trivial error!C'mon man what can be more easier than MCQ question.Furthermore,those MCQ questions were like derived from the past year papers which u happens to do tonnes of times edi!!!

Fuck!

U know u did tht question before but u still got the ans. wrong...this happened on about 5 MCQ questions from my Econs 1 paper...

Law is another fuck up paper,where the lecturer tht set the paper got no more idea and creativity tht they desperately duplicate the whole latest GCE Exam's Law AS paper 2 without any single modification on the questions!And my lecturer even discussed it wif us during the last week b4 study break!But too bad he didn't gave us the ans exactly...and me as usual how could I resist the lure to doze off in law class when ever single words came out from my lecturer sounds like lullaby?It's so crappy and dumb enough to let go such a big fat chance!!!

Mind you!Law paper 1 has to write 3 essays in 1 and 1/2 hours is bullshitcrapping not enough(the worse was that there's a one or two questions where I wrote has some tendency of getting out of point which leads to the narrow "bandwidth" of my marks! T_T )

However,Law paper 2 data response 2 Qs choose 1Q to do in 1 and 1/2 hours also was shitty mad hell lotsa extra time like 45 minutes!!!It's like 2 extreme kinda situations...tht's y sometimes I really doubt the A-levels' Law standard,the others so far have been quite ok though...exp for this very odd's LAW paper!Hell...

I'm a bit sien now...esp. my beloved Econs' easiet paper,da MCQ paper 1!It's completely totally careless mistakes for all the question tht got wrong...it's damn basic question!!!I'm seriously sick!Damn!

Tomorrow,seriously gotta perish cos I'll be sitting for Econs 2 (data response and essays) which require to write very knowledged-ful and technical points!And relate it to many things to form a cob-web relationship,damn complex things tht can actually exhaust all my grey-matter in one time!Die lor...

The one that can score most already doom and perish!What else should I looking forward to this time?

I totally give up on MOCK as I hope to do better in my AS mock!Atleast a distinction enough!!!

PS:I strongly condemn those lecturer tht gave tips for exam,they really spoilt the student and creating more and more lazy bums here!!!Study all the topics lah!Pot-luck-ed Cambridge GCE exam not gonna give u any tips afterall!So what if ur mock is good but sucks in the actual one?Pointless shit!

Alrite,I still got a month away from my actual AS exam...so really seriously definitely totally utterly have to buck up this time study,revise,practice all over and over again non-stop!!!No more fooling around!

Afterall,this is future defining matter!!!

Fockyordorde...

..........

Today P1 mock kena screwed up like hell man!

Die,will only expect to get 20/75 watsoever (tht'll be maximum...).

S1 is still consider ok despite some careless mistakes which can still be amended b4 the actual AS exam,hah,afterall "it's only mock ward"!Who cares rights?Fuck off...

Suppose to spend whole day in library to study my very law,but then after seeing the whole stack of notes and books before me,KO man!...Give me a break,better go back to my room and get some rest then,to be continued tonight...

This time must do my very best for law provided that there's a possibility to flunk my P1 paper(eventhough can still gain back a little bit from S1 but P1 carries higher weightage than S1...T.T )

So,the whole point is that have to remedy this big flaw through my coming Law and Economics paper on next week!Gambate!Buck up...study hard and smart!

P.S: Maths is just so important that its usage is very wide since it's amphibious in both Science and Arts stream.Seriouly,if I did adequately well(at least a higher "C" or a "B"),I might have the chance(at least I have the qualification to ask for it,if not,I can only dream about it and never ever get to expect my dad to nod his head,not at all k?!) to request for going back to science stream again in future.Therefore,in nutshell,Maths is very much important to me compare to Econs,let alone the already-lost-interest's Law.So frustrate now,worse to worse,may have to re-plan my and re-patch my future pathway again.Damn headache now and moody!God must bless me and I shall no matter how at anytime anywhere believe in myself to the fullest...

It's been quite depress this past few weeks especially over the everlasting pre-exam's phobia and MY VERY INCONSIDERATE ROOMMATE AND HIS VERY FRIEND.

Here's my 10 cents of thought for my roommie(u worth 10 cents only,I think...):

• Have I acted not obvious enough that I'm expecting an major exam in few weeks of time lately?
• I pasted both my mock and AS examination time tables on my wall for so long,are you that blind enough until you seriously neglected that?And I thought u'd asked me before when is my exam,right?Should I repeat over and over again for your forgetfulness?
• Last 2 days when you invited your very friend come over to play your very game and I was studying that time but I'm surprised that you actually asked me,"U can concentrate"?Hah,obvioulsy,you knew it yourself that the answer is definitely NO,not even a single lines of words got into my brain!Let's see if it's in your case then,can you concentrate by the way?Under the affection of full volume/bass blasting gaming sounds and your ever-annoying hoarsely lame laughing with your childish friend.You can never make it through anyway.So obviously,that question you asked me is totally rubbish.
• And please don't pretend that you don't know that I refilled the water dispenser.Since you are the one who fixed the big water bottle into the dispenser all the time when I pretend not to put it into the water bottle until you mention and paid.I thought you are filthy rich enough that a ciplak RM400++ watch bought from KLCC seems so cheap and trivial to you,and,hey!you got a car right,and your parents are all the "1st tier" standard's engineers,ain't them?
• To be honest,you stink like no one else.Please try to change your boxer more often,buy more of it since you are rich!Cos I always seen you wearing the same boxer all the time.It really fills the room with odourness.Wasted my money to buy air freshener all the while man!
• Please lah!If you don't wanna take good care of your very carpet then just roll it up and throw it away.It attracts dusts and dirts.What's the use of your vacuum cleaner then?I'd try to clean up for you few times but not anymore in future since you are not a handicap,but I am,I'm so handicapped when it comes to things related to you!
• Please should I mat a red carpet pathway to invite your very friend out of the room when It's in late night,what the hell man,do you think for a stranger to stay inside my private space at this odd hour will makes me more happy?...it's worse that I'm having exam now!I don't wanna go for a single room cos it's pricey and I think you are the one should go,so that you can fuck your friend inside without others awareness!
• Hey man,look at you,already 22 but only in your very First Year of Uni...I still thought that you are 12 or 13...well maybe 15 sounds better!Can you behave like an adult?You look stupid until I can't stand any longer...you sucks!Maybe you can crowned yourself in the Malaysian Book of Record under the category of the Most Stupidest Man Ever Appear in Malaysia!*cheers*.Oh ya,maybe your very friend should have taken that,cos he looks more stupider than you,like King Kong or Bigfoot(choose either one you in favour of...which sounds better to you?!).Too bad,he's an Indon lah!Ngentot!
• I don't know what the hell you will do except for freezing idly in front of your lappy playing games along with full volume blasting which can be eardrum-explodable!I tell you seriouly from what I've seen from my other friends that studying Monash U (including those from Engineering,Bio-sciences,Business and so on...),they seem very busy all the while with multitudes of lab reports,assignments,test preparations,tutorials and so on!(eventhough Business students all seems so busy!)But look at you(future Civil Engineer),easy peasy life and always saying that wanna study but ended up in front of that stupid LCD playing game.Well,I can't deny that you don't study at all,maybe once a few times I'd seen which last not more than 30 minutes!Now,you call that study?Kiss my ass man!University life wouldn't be easier without putting endless of effort.Honeymoony still think of passing your Uni. life and earn a useless degree cert.Man!You are so naive that I so wanna laugh!Uni.?!You call yourself a Monash Uni. student?Don't ruin Monash's reputation lah!Walao eh!
• What do you think?You are 22 (*sneers and sniggers*)!!!Allow me to laugh please...hahahahahah...!Ok back to the topic again.I am so worry now if you can ever be a Civil Engineer in future.Maybe we can expect more cracked highway's bridge pillars,more of Highland Tower incidents happening...and don't ever think of constructing or build up any world tallest building again.No eyes to see ah!Sami Vellu(aka Semi Value) ,open your eyes wider and see all this well fed future pillars of the country.Your post won't be that easy in future anymore like today.If you are wise enough,step down tomorrow!Mr.Edu. Minister Hishammuddin and other ministers...you all have to suffer from the consequences in future since privileges are all given too your peer ethnic.It's already been so many years of time but you still can't seems to understand the crucial point.It's that your peers just not competitive and productive enough to stand out in the society.They prefer to be a laggard that live in kampung to grant their desire to lead simple life(this ain't any of a reality TV show starring 2 brainless chics!).They are taking things for granted and they prefer quota system instead of meritocracy.Cos they are lazy and they knew that of cos they couldn't make it with other races.Their common race's characteristic is lazy.To give "bonus",they are mean,cruel as well,much more greedy and selfish than my race.Govt. is wasting the taxpayer's money on them.For me,I rather feed a pig better off than wasting $ on them.(shit man!I'm so racism.Hah!C'mon lah,Malaysians are all like me,don't pretend and hide anymore...!)
• Please don't smoke,cos you are polluting the fresh air on earth.Go die alone,don't drag others along.You are wasting the earth resources and wasting the air we breathe...you shouldn't be here to rival for a mouth of air on earth cos with your presence,the earth's oxygen content rates are gonna reduced and wasted.Indirectly,you diminished the oxygen that others can be able to enjoy where those people are simply a better person for sure unlike you do!
• Fuck off!

I hope I won't be writing this kinda morality devaluating/degrading or whatsoever thing in future.Hope you can behave better next time although I think it seems so tough on you.Don't make yourself looks like a fool!Think of your parents,country,own race and most important YOURSELF !

Tell me it isn't real!!!

DAMN!!!

Fucking laid back now but when the guiltiness of having not studying at all when the exam falls on THIS divine Friday strikes me incisively on my head,thank god,I'm awake AGAIN.Yes,this kinda sucky feeling keep bugging me like on and off and off and on...like mood swing man!Jialat lor...tong kim hua hee,eh lei bai tiok see...or maybe this Friday whatsoever!

*Bang head on wall*

KNNCCBHGLTMDDBK...$#^%$#...wtf!!!Tension weiiiiii.....

Do I serioulsy look like someone who's going to sit for a Major-Life-Defining-Future-Deciding exams?

I hate when my roommie pat on me and invites me to play badminton...

I mean,hey,can't u see that I'm struggling for my "semi"-final's?

Well,obviously u noe juz that u think I'm those typical brat spoilt child that don't bother to give a fucking damn to exams at all...*faint*...tell me how should I prove u wrong then???!Is there any obscurity on my current position that left to ur mistaken impression on me???!This kinda feeling really unfathomably irritating and frustating lor...at least for me...I think in this way!

To be honest,I don't even dare to think of resiting even a single paper,let alone the whole AS's papers!

So pls,open ur eyes wider and see thru me,I'm striving so hard to achieve my very goal...

I noe u don't mean anything when u said that I'm "laid back and enjoying"!

But do u noe u really pounced on my vulnerability and invisibly gave me a big tight slap on both my cheeks.It's good to have some stimulus to wake me up from my childishness...so have to thank u for partially contribute to my awakening to this foolishness(how many times I hav to repeat this,enuff of it!)...

I ponder for a while and decided better keep my lappy off my vision or else it'll be a crucial distraction to dampen my will power to study and do revision persistently...

BUCK UP...

I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE rite?!

Tell me that I can pls!!!

*Pls grant me a good nite sleep oso,so that I can wake up in a total-fresh mode and today-is-a-new-day mood!I dunno y I can't even shut my eyes and throw all the fictitious phantoms out of mind when I started to snuggle my cumfy bolster and blankets...It all happened so naturally thanks to the 2 cuppa nescafe bestowed by the vending machine downstairs.My braincells were very awake and stimulated...-_-

Pls lah!Act like a person which going to sit for exams can?

No more honeymoon-ing and loitering around!

Get back and study now!

YES,IT'S NOW.....!

gambate kudasai and zutto akiramenaide!