I Don't Want A Title For This

Alright, just a random thought before I turned in to bed.

I've no idea what makes me into this but I no longer feel the sense of belonging at where I'm stepping on right now. Then it hit me hard with the term, Organic Solidarity (Gesellschaft) that used to describe the urban lifestyle. To briefly elaborate, the term means nothing more than pointing out the nonchalance, coldness, ignorance, robotic and etc. of urban dwellers. Further reveals that, social bonds in urban are based on specialization and interdependence. It may sound foreign to you but like it or not, it's a piece of fact. By specialization, it means each of us needs to magnify the scope of a certain particular field that they are good in in order to benefit society and brings people toward them. For example, when the first time you met a person, you will have asked him question like "what do you do for living?" and slowly finds benefit which you can reap out of the conversation. To simplify the statement, you respect you lecturers simply because they are smarter than you in certain fields and you learn things from them. However, if they are being stripped off from all their knowledge, will you still respect them as you used to be? Eventually, this brings out interdependence where we get along with each other today to depend on them more than we really want to be with them for no reasons at all.

I realise friends that I made after a certain level of my life cannot go far beyond interest group. Like, there's something common and beneficial for us that brings us together. Well, I won't deny that it's the basic function of how a relationship starts nowadays. I mean you won't acquainted a person who pop up and say hi to you and walk off. Perhaps you think he's just being lunatic or what. More often than not, we get along together because we need something from each other instead of we get along together because we want to get along together, no further. I can make a clear example here from what I encountered from my college's club, nice to have a slogan of "Friendship above service..." or some sort of words close to that meaning. The chairman claims that all the members will be treated like one family. We sing club songs, play games, interact and so on but the upon closer observation. I realized it's just like any other social organization around. It's all about interests, be it personal or common ones. Favouritism overrule common goal. Slogan as a new way of spreading propaganda. It's very ironic in a way that I don't even know how to bring into words vividly. You know I just sense that I don't belong to there even I've been there for like 1 semester, that's about 4 months. I feel like a misfit member being stucked at some obligations that I never promised to get involded. I've lost autonomy. I have to put on masks (which explains why I'm often so quiet in class or club cos I hate to do that). I have to listen to "words that are often louder than actions". Sounds familiar eh? Isn't it nicely reflected our in house political scenes? It may not be true and I can be generalizing things but that's not the crucial part cos I think I digress a little. Just my 20 cents.

But I'm glad I still have friends who will just be with me for the sake of drawing our relationship closer or simply they just want to be together for who we are. Not being together for what we are because we need to.

Though, most of us can't be around together all times but deep down we know we won't feel awkward even after years apart. That's the chemical and feel good factors in common.

Goodnight.

Hokkien Jade Drama Coming to Life

Happy Mother's Day to Mummy, all my god mothers and grandmother.

Nothing much special for this year (or every year), I felt like buying the Gintell massage chair for it is buy one free one but too bad I realised my goodwill was dampened by my tight budget! Haha. So despite spending the whole night with my kkl until wee hours, I had to crawl out from the bed around 10 am the next day to send my dad to my grandfather's and headed to 大马 to hunt for some real nice carnations for mummy. I got a really cute one with teddy bear on it! Then rushed to Pelangi to buy detox tea recommended by frog. She said she lost some kgs after consuming it. The myth will be affirmed this week after it washed down my stomach. After settled everything at downtown, I had to go up to TC's Jusco to buy practical present for mummy (shan't disclose hehe). Went home, surprised mummy and that's all, I'm quite bad at this I know. Lol. Later on was the usual eating out and all which happens every year at this time.

Grandma was over at our place together with godparents. With her presence, there will always be dramatic play. This time was not an exception except it was a more serious life and death matter. Here it goes, grandma and godpa had some conflicts and my grandma spanged her head against the wall aka 撞墙 -_- like she did before. How Hokkien-soap-drama-ly dramatic right? She does this kinda thing very often, we all got it from her when we were kiddos (kneeled down before the altar, served tea to apologize...you name it). In any case, the worst part happened while my grandma attempting her head-bang-wall action, my godpa was totally blew out of the water upon seeing that in sight followed by paling in face, rapid heartbeat, panic...and all the pre-symptoms of heart attack which he didn't even know he has. Daddy sent him to Pandan hospital immediately and luckily he was alright after that. Kudos to that stupid hospital actually didn't really perform thorough check out on godpa due to equipment broke down -_-. Apparently, one button of the ECG machine was not functioning, and that was the best excuse they could give at the cost of life of an emergency patient? Yes, exactly, godpa was admitted to emergency department at first cos we thought it was very critical and emergency at that time. Well, I'm pretty sure everyone knows how far the efficiency of public hospital goes for we had no choice but to send him there because it is only less than 3 km away from my house which is the one next to Tebrau City in case you don't know. As well as the one with fungus breeding all over before the official opening ceremony that caused some hoo-haas around, excuse given by the then Semi Value was, "It happens in other countries". End of story. Life is cheap here, Semi Value should've retired 30 years ago to save all the disputes.

We suspect our grandma is not only suffering from senile but paranoic type of schizophrenia. Cos she had records of threatening for suicide, self mutilation and mental delusion. But she seems normal most of the time. Still, I think I need to suggest the folks to bring her for a serious psychotherapy session lest she will fire off another attempt to literally gek sei my godpa,if she's willing to go which I doubt she will cos she's very tik ki (stubborn).

Of late, folks like to tattle about life and death on dinner table (they've been living more than half a decade). Daddy was talking about sudden departure of his football mate back in those days, mummy was talking about the suicide of her client and the sudden departure of Uncle Steven and all those around us. We can't avoid things that we can't predict, can we? According to the same old cliche, live life to fullest each day, materialism can never be associated with happiness no matter how. So what if you got the whole world?

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They're sending clothings to Salvation Army. You wish.

Then she wanna contribute some golds for tropical cyclone's victims in Myanmar.

Eh, I think the detox tea doesn't work on you at all. Maybe you can try eating more "tupai"

From the L word to the F word

The L's,

Lies. Laughs. Loves. Lives. Lesbians. Lame. Lusts. Los Angeles.....

I finished 1 season in a day all thanks to my uber laid back timetable, how marvellous!

It simply just more than homosexuality and all the gay rights movements can tell. Just slightly more than that. Somewhere in between controversial and provocation. Please leave religion out of this for god's sake also (pun not really intended).

I feel so dykey now...

Hello there!

..but oh well, food for thought.

I'm converted.

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The F,

Fuck.

I know, this is another spin off of my enraged grudge against THE college. It comes out like tap water and it's on the loose now, please understand.

Yea la...I know this is just an outlet for my feelings, I'm ranting to noone and I will honestly shut this up once I feel right about it in no time (i think sometime next week things will be fine I hope), if no relapse :p

Read this : Itu blog miliki saya. Clear enough ah?

666! Intro. to US Govt. has got the boringest dullest lecturer ever on the planet. I've found a new place to seriously slumber out. Wtfbbq. Memang jatuh ditimpa tangga. I'm right now in a serious difficult position. I can't possibly drop the damn thing for there are no better substitutions except for English Literature which facing under amount of students right now on the verge of chaplap-ing but hell I don't need that in my major. There's French 101 which I'm begging to join but monstrously CLASHED with Stats (TYPICAL!)...effing chintzy college who can't even well managed its flagship course in the pseudo-honor of some questionable ISO standard. Well, I mean they can't short change us just because they have the crown of it. We need a good lecturer, not some Tom, Dick or Harry who part-timely appointed from admin. department who can't teach a fuck standing there reading slides straight out from power point! In that nut case, the security guards or janitors can perform similar task equally well as well. What makes me more furious, the advisors got the balls to tell me I should accept my fate for my misfortune (those timetable clashes...). Hell that shows how much they think my time's worth, go fuck a chicken la.

I am seriously have to booze up before attending POL101's class, for better, I can pretty sure the whole class won't turn their backs against a round or two of chor dai di during the lesson. I call it class participation. Anyone has 2nd opinion?

Unfortunately afterall I will still have to put up with all of these. Pips, just assume this entry is made invisible ok?

Sighs.

This music video 很美!

Believe Again by Delta Goodrem

Stunning and stupendously beauuutiful!

Words fail me.



p/s : Mind you this is the most expensive music video ever made in Oz. Just look at the backdrop setting and the CG effects then you'll know. On par with LOTR.

Shitnesssssss

This college will never fails to wreck my nerves, EVER!

I went to enroll today and I spent like 2 hours staring at the damn generator doing those timetable matchings just to sort out the perfect timetable. Happy happy clicked "ok"...blimey, Physics class fulled! Peachy, it toppled all my other perfect time slots. And to hell I have to rematch with new subjects again which took me further 1+ hour tim! Fuck. Then in the end only 3 rather than normal 4 subjects mutually exist harmoniously side by side. Ended up taking only 3 subjects due to all the stupid clashes. Now I have to stay on for another semester which is 6 semesters altogether, can be 7 also since I have to postpone my transfer date due to Inti's ever brilliant system. Supposedly Spring 2009 but now delayed to Fall 2009 which constitutes to 2 more semesters but I don't think I will finish all the 2 semesters during that time frame. Prolly just stop before May which is the end of my 6th semester and take a hiatus for preparation/work/spend time with close ones before August. If that's so then I gotta prepare for uni(s) application on next semester or next next semester already and not THIS. Geez so sickening it sure takes a long time for me to enter a proper uni at this age. And does it sounds better than leaving at Spring 2009? Cos at least I get to spend another CNY with friends and family with of cos the bonus of getting ang paos la. But still, wasted hell loads of my time talking to the advisors today, and I have to come up with explanation for the mess but why should I? It's not my fault cos the previous advisor told me not to take 2 sciences (4 cr. hour based) in one semester and not like the timetable then was not clashing also *roll eyes*. Typical ICSJ. Fuck CHM 211 and CHM 212 if not because of them...I think the Dean can just sack all the unproductive staffs like Ms. M, Exam office crew and course advisors for better, I don't see a problem in exercising it for it's a bob's your uncle matter. Then the new building I think is built to burn money into ashes because not only we don't have more flexible timetable but subjects offered seem to shrink as well. What's this? Not enough lecturer then for fuck's sake go hire more, not enough classes is no excuse since the new "grand" block claims to accommodate more students and of cos more classes! Then with all the trumpeted claims, why do we still facing so many time slots clashes? I can't believe I still have to face all this timetable inefficiencies when all there I have to care is my grades/CGPA. Bummer bummer bummer! Real big bummer.

But then this semester is only a 4 days week, meaning I got only 4 lecture days per week! Haha 1st in my life. More time to slackstudy I supposed. I'm taking Introduction to American Government as well. Tell me how the hell I came to the state of fitting POL101(US Government) into my curriculum of..........CLS/MT major?! Bummer!

OMG just kill me.

Desaru Road Trip

Sempena Labour Day off and the lackadaisical day after that, dad and mum took a day off to Desaru of course I gotta tag along for all the reasons. We planned to go for a day trip to Sg. Rengit for seafood but then dad decided to book a resort room impulsively so that we don't need to rush all the way back to JB at night. We stayed at Desaru Damai Beach Resort which was mediocre only but good for short overnight stay. However, looking at those virginal and sandy beach in sight is more than enough to offset the cons. We chilled at the beach, I went to swim at the sea with my dad whilst mum just sat and watch for she is incapable of touching water haha. My fishie was all along with me and I've done with one film in a day! So happy and it was all worthwhile. Btw, the bank didn't reap much of service charge and it's exactly how it'd cost had it been converted to Ringgit. Yay :D

We drove all the way up to Sg. Rengit for seafood dinner after chilling at the resort and all. The meal was darn cheap despite the fact that the place is always infest with Singaporeans. Mum ordered like crazy, I think 7 or 8 dishes for only 3 of us. Still not very full to be honest and we are so gonna get from the further step up of LDL levels which incidentally haunting most of my family members. And then in my utmost humble opinion, Desaru's beaches are 10x better than Bintan's, we used to frequent Desaru like 3-5 times in a year those days but ever since everyone's leaving, so it's getting quiet and lonely nowadays.

**********

Peace out

Mummy and daddy (forced to take haha)

Me and my symbol of peace

Gemini and colourful canoes
Scratches

Roar...

Sunset and silhouette

Dot-ed the day

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Mbak Jay, tengok lah, this is what a "toy camera" can do. Tell me how you feel about the effect k? To be noted, I DID NOT retouch those photos with Photoshop at all. Feel free to appreciate how pure and fundamental can they be...so aesthetically pleasing .

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Alright, results for this semester are all out, no failing nor extraordinary good grades. My conclusion is I feel lucky to retain my CGPA and move on to my sophomore year which I was deeply in doubt before that haha, every semester is like pain in ass, I was so worried that I might gonna just stuck and ended up in retaking and stuffs...and then let me strongly condemn ICSJ's lecturers, yea now I know you all are nothing but hypocrites, the reason you all gave high courseworks marks is just so that you all can bring us down altogether in one shot during final, and now I know! Ms. Sociology-Lecturer and Mr. History-Lecturer, I won't forget how you all sabotaged me. Kinda disappointed to say actually. Oh well, at least I get to move on still. Nabeh.

Jessica Octaviani II

I was thinking of doing this entry in Bahasa Kekaratan but called it off before I get started cos no one will understand and not even the beloved Jay! Haha. Makan tahu penerjemah then. Alright cut the crap. Me and Jay had our second meet up at Sg yesterday. I promised to see her at 11.30 am SHARP at Heeren for we will have more time to spend for the day but my stupidity has got the better of me. I overslept and by the time I reached Taka. it was already 1 pm-ish and she was bored out from waiting. Ribuan maaf. And then we met up at Kino. and I saw ready sets of Lomo sitting at the Art & Design section's shelf! Tell me how to resist?! I didn't intend to buy actually but still...impulse! I swiped for it and hopefully they can spare me from exorbitbant forex rate dfference, service charge and whatnots. Oh and I got it cheaper cos Jay has the member card which entitled me 10% off the normal price. Ribuan terima kasih ya! There's always a good start to everything haha.

We went cheung k again at Cineleisure, I know it was so pricey for the services we received but did we not enjoy it? haha. And I have to manually buy OCK cos the exorbitant rate we paid didn't include any food at all! So much for Sg's cheung k scene despite the poor operating system and sound system. I'm gonna reinstate that Red Box and Neway still win hands down. We should try the one in Chinatown and Bugis I guess had we not hanging around Orchard. Next time la.

Later on we took bus to Vivocity for dinner, too bad we couldn't go Carnivore cos of the dinner rate is exaggeratedly high. So we settled down at Food Republic which flooded with crowd due to the eve of public holiday (wrong move!). And I wonder why every stalls there seem to plaster with award winning, acclaimed and most sought-after honours, there are not that good as they think they are I guess but well some Singaporeans are shallow so they will go for the famous and long-queued ones. Typical kiasuism la. Nonetheless, the "famous" Hokkien Fried Prawn Mee we had is fantabulous but the rather pricey Lobak I ordered is mediocre only. Street foods, what else to expect? But me likey street foods! And to hell with Anything? and Whatever they are just normal carbonated drinks which trigger curiosity, it shows how brilliant for their plausible marketing strategy. All the sales gimmicks. Wtfbbq.

After the contented dinner, we walked around and Jay "mendorong" me with her evil plan to try out Warm Chocolate Cake at White Dog Cafe but I was skeptical and already kenyang but still there's always a room for temptationexperimentation. Les dessert after heavy meal was welcomed as a rinse of mouth. I pun memang glutton punye. We walked pass the cafe, wondered a while and returned there after the first glance at those cute little cakes sitting in the glassed refrigerator cos we will be more guilty for not stuffing those thick creamy dense chocolate down our stomachs rather than feeling guilty over consuming it against our own dietetic principles. We practically savored each and every bites. Jay was very engrossed in it cos the way she indulged was so unrealistic and romantic to the extent that she had to shut her eyes during those savoring moments. Cute. It is too nice to describe and I don't wish to type those words out either cos at the end of my sentence I will be deadly craving for it again, so that's all for it, go White Dog Cafe at Vivocity and try out yourself. Yea so I got converted.

Got back around 9 something cos she wanted to catch AI 7 which she can't afford to miss due to the appearance of David Cook (duh!). We parted at Outram's station then I went on with my Red Line T^T which took me about 40 minutes to reach Kranji. Because it was fucking public holiday eve and there were some fucking shit eating custom officers who dragged our clearance (courtesy of Mas Selamat that should fuck off and die) plus the ever jamming traffic, I reached home at 1 am! Helluva horrible right?

Still, I was very very very happy nevertheless. I'm turning into bubbles.

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Iya tanter apa yg bisa gw tolong?

p/s : And I must say, Brooke White did not overstay her welcome! She deserves to go this far but what the heck she still got eliminated before Jason Castro.

Blood spilled

STACT's camp was fun. I had fun.

Got bitten by countless leeches during jungle trekking and waterfall trekking (we walked upstream bagai menentang arus which was crazy). Weather was wet.

Got few extra bruises and scars scatter everywhere as a mean to spice up my legs. Good. I can't recognise them anymore as a result.

Solo drop in the middle of jungle at wee hour was sooo sccccca.....dventurous. Not THAT scary but boring whilst lighted bushfirecampfire alone, reminded me of those days in St. John.

Oh well.

It has been sleepless for few days. Conked already.

That should well explained my MIA, AWOL and whatever it is for the past few days, matter fact there won't be any phone signals in the middle of the jungle, so don't ask already! Sorry.

Adios.

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I've no idea why I look so horrifying and old in those photos, maybe cos I'm old myself but I believe I have an ever young and flaming heart can or not...alright I'm 21 and most of them there are 18-20 and some rare 21/22. Not like I care anyways.

Lollipop and Kiwi (the Chinese ochestra enthusiasts)

Onion and Kiwi (muka-muka kepenatan, never slept for 3 days)

Sotong (looks like SHE's Ella...ella eh eh right? 80% similarity I reckon!) and Kiwi

Fan4 Tong3, Kiwi (unpresentable face cos eye bags + dark wrinkles + saggy eyelids visible to max) and Mr. President

and lastly.......................................

Choya's Umeshu! Damn stim I tell you, 2 for 10 bucks under promotion available in Isetan until 7th of May nia! I bought 6 and I need more.

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p/s : Mummy's client which I met few times at the restaurant she owned committed suicide last few days together with her husband, both died in their apartment by inhaling excessive CO (burned charcoal at highly enclosed space). Reason(s) yet to be revealed, there, another sigh to life. I believe to every problem there will be a solution eventually, it's only a matter of time and patience.

An Impulsive Trip

First of all let me introduce you, Tanjung Pinang on Pulau Bintan, the capital city of Riau Islands Province (not to be mistaken as Riau Province cos the former attained seperated municipality out of the latter in year 2000). It is one of the few "highly" developed islands among Riau archipelago after Pulau Batam. Owing to our "ambitious" plan ahead, we felt compelled to go for a softcore backpacking trip to a 3rd world country as a rehearsal. Since it's too late to organise trip to any places that require means of transport moving above sea level (yes, plane!) and we are not golden spoon fed child which on rather tight budget saving, so we ought for the most economical place, transport and accommodation. Bintan is only 20+ KM away from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal in Singapore and around 40+ KM away (150 minutes ferry ride) from JB's Zon Ferry Terminal. We opted the latter to bypass Islands of Singapore, burned us RM 154 for a round ticket + Malaysia seaport tax surcharge. We decided to give it a go on the same day we made our move, that's why I called it "impulsive". Initially not planning to stay over night cos we just planned to look around for a day trip, and who knows we forgot the difference of timezone (yes, it is GMT +7, 1 hour behind Malaysian's), missed the last ferry back to JB. Stranded in Tanjung Pinang, we got blackmailed by 2 uninvited Indonesian accosters upon reaching the port and we had not even checked in to Indonesia yet! I've no idea where did they pop out from probably they are a syndicate and in collaboration with the immigration department to ambush around the custom area predating for victims. Mother fucker without testicles! (they are guys) I tell you, that place is full of crooks eyeing on our pocket, sad to say, seriously it is not ideal for tourist visit. The town is dirty, full of motorcycles, shabby buildings and able-men wandering around trying to offer tonnes of bogus deals like prostitution, hotel "services", blackmailing, escort services, charter "mobil"...kononnya. Actually what they want is none other than $. I had an unfavorable arguements with 2 of the accosters which took me RM 20 + Rp 10k to shoo them away, fuck! Lots of profanities exchanged and that 2 men spitted at us (not directly la) but their gestures are plain annoying and sickening. Luckily the local Chinese are helpful and friendly enough, they commonly speak Teo Chew, Bahasa Indonesia with Riau Malay's slang and Chinese, fortunately, I'm fluent in Teo Chew and Chinese (kinda) so I'd spoken to few sundry shop owners there regarding those outs and abouts on the island and sadly only to find out it's as little as none, haha. Oh yeah, I was impressed by my bahasa campur as well when talking to the natives, I mixed Malay with Indonesian haha (the local Chinese were impressed as well haha), but we blown our covers the minute we came out with Bahasa Melayu (slang?) which deemed foreign to them, strange. Malay is so formal/simplified but Indonesian is always full of street slang. Ngapain beda? Apa perbezaaannya?

Anyways, we wanted to charter a car to Trikora Beach which is 38 km away but they charged us like 400K Rp approx. RM 200 for less than a day, so we just tick it off for a no. And so, we checked in a Chinese owned hotel in the middle of the town which cost us only 100k Rp a night SPONTANEOUSLY. Haha just wanted a roof over head for a night that's all regardless of what.

It was really horrible, not only that place got no power supply during day time to our horror (except some shops will use generator instead as a compensation), it takes a long time to get power supply at night! I supposed the place where it's nearest to the the power plant will be supplied with electricity first and so on so forth. Tanjung Pinang could be few kilometers away from the plant, therefore, it takes longer time to get supplied. In the meantime, have to put up with it. Terrible right? So much for a capital city of a province. We waited until around 8-9 pm to get full electricity supply at the town (with streetlights and all, thank god most hotels are using generator). In any case, we dined at a Chinese eatery (serves awful but cheap vegetarian dishes) in the dark with only candle lights. -_- So dead. I wonder how people survive their days over here lackadaisically. That place got practically nothing! Not even a souveneir shop in sight. Good thing is, for RM 100 (300k Rp.) can last you more than a day at this town with bribery/blackmail, accomodation, food, knickknacks and even a full body massage. Yea, we went for 1 hour body massage (dapat gratis 15 menit extra and strangely "percuma" in Indonesian meaning "worthless" super -_- right?) at night out of boredom. Roaches and rats were roaming the streets...gross. It's really nothing special to shout about for that town. We did see a couple of white tourists that's all but I think they were heading to the beach and just made a pit stop over Tanjung Pinang.

We departed that Island early in the morning the next day like 7 am Indonesian time. At the Indonesian immigration, again were being coaxed into paying some suspicious boarding pass fees for 50k Rp (do we even need to pay when we exchange our air ticket for boarding pass?), it's so damn annoying, their custom officers all carrying the kabuki/suspicious faces that waiting for you to fall prey. Apparently, they will only ask for bribery from people holding foreign passports but sometimes even the native passport holders mainly Chinese, to them Chinese = rich regarding which places they are from. What the hell, no wonder the corruption rate in that country is one of the highest in the world, if you were to compare Malaysia with them, trust me we are far more better. I couldn't express how much I feel blessed to be born in Malaysia upon reaching JB land, it makes me love my country more. Those who still think that having born in Malaysia is most unfortunate thing in their life should get their arses over Bintan and take a look themselves. I just don't wanna go on and elaborate, you should know how good it is to live in a place like here at the same time taking lots of things for granted. If you think our Royal Malaysia Police is bad enough, wait till you see their Polisi Militer, totally bunch of useless bums. Alright, my critic is only restricted within the boundary of Pulan Bintan, perhaps it will be a totally different scene over Jakarta. I still love you Jessica, no worries haha! But an interesting fact is the media/entertainment industry in Indonesia is 10000x better than Malaysia's, it's always full of eye candies and nice rock ballads!

All in all, a short, intense, adventurous and eyes opening trip. Bagged home with tonnes of anecdotes, experiences and lessons in just 2 days 1 night.

Just a disclaimer, I won't condone to ethnocentrism or racism (I was once apprenticed with both Sociology and Anthropology ok!) but I can't tolerate bribery and corruption to happen especially most who committed them over that place are able-bodied. Unless they're paralysed or OKU then different story lah! BUT NO. The classic emoticon for Pulau Bintan's immigration officers and crooks would be ($_$).

And.

I heart Malaysia! Malaysia still boleh.

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One of the many bustling streets

Antennas

Alley

Jalur merah + putih berkibar di depan of some Istana or Mosque, forgot haha. Was in hurry.

At the monument, forgot the name as well haha. It was 6.30 am (GMT+7) in the morning, eyes were still swollen but we couldn't be happier cos we were heading back to civilization.

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p/s : Btw, I didn't know XiaXue had already blogged about her unpleasant experience in Pulau Bintan, had I know earlier about it I wouldn't even wanna lay my foot on this island I think and I almost booked a hotel room at one of the many beach resorts at Trikora which luckily I didn't, like she said, the photos shown on the brochure all look promising and highly photoshopped to lure your desire. Tanjung Pinang is still not much a tourism spot so things are still mainly charged in Rupiah (except for the lodging where we could choose to pay in SGD alternatively from Rupiah, of cos we gotta spend those Rp. because it's kinda worthless if we were to convert it back to RM afterall) and definitely cheaper if not expensive by all means, I paid only 60k Rp. for the massage which is around 13 SGD only. Finally, somebody share the same sentiment that Bintan is evil, just go Batam for a one day shopping trip will suffice, not worth staying over as we have plenty of sandy beaches back home. Those found on Danga Bay/East Coast Park/Sentosa are highly comparable to those in Bintan/Batam. *roll eyes* But then again, I'd love to go Bali if I have the time cos afterall that's the place to die for, if I'm wrong at this, millions of others will be in denial as well! Bali ftw :D

That 70's meme.

8 things I'm passionate about :

1. Ikea
2. My secret "ambitious" plan.
3. My close ones. (not many, you know who you are)
4. Bookstore
5. Photoshop
6. Tattoos and piercings (I'm getting an oral or nape soon!)
7. Diet (sad case...)
8. Singing (I'm John Legend's friend's roommate's penpal's neighbour's driver's friend's brother's
friend.)

8 things I say too often :

1. Walao eh
2. Niabeh
3. TMD
4. CCB
5. Fuck
6. Fuiyoh
7. Sien
8. Slap you

8 books I've read recently :

1. The Birthday Stories
2. The Kite Runner
3. Tokyo Tower
4. The Acid House
5. The Time Traveller's Wife
6. Men are from mars, Women are from venus
7. The Lonely Planet Story
8. Aiya...I've read more than 8 la...still reading The Kite Runner, I'd spent more time
on Sociology, Psychology, US History texts but I like Socio. text the most.

8 songs I could listen to over and over again :

1. Amy Winehouse - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
2. Bic Runga - Sway
3. John Legend - Coming Home
4. 王菲 - 红豆
5. Bjork - Declare Independence
6. Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
7. KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World
8. Miley Cyrus - See You Again (I st-st-stuttered when you...jeez!)

8+1 things I learned last year (non academic) :

1. Kill hypocrites (cliche rite?)
2. Ignorance is bliss
3. Ego is important
4. To hate is harder than to love
5. Deeper (as in not shallow)
6. Silence is golden
7. To give love to someone I loved (not worth and not recipocral)
8. To be mean
9. Honesty is a lonely word

I got none to tag, no one read this blog, none shall comment and not like comments are allowed anyways.

Till then. I'm so sleepy, stupid road block polices.

O.o

Morning.

It's 5 am and I'm still up, walking zombie here sending my morning regards to dear all mugging androids out there who are still refuse (or resist) to/from sleep at the wee.

You must be thinking how diligent I was on making progression for my last minute dired revision. The fact is, progression has been made so far with a good 0.0025% overall coverage following a gradual increasing trend, hello, look at the weather outside, it's so meant for cuddling those fluffy bolster and snuggle in slumber, I super love midnight rain and storm despite having a little emo over exams and foreseeing sleepness nights ahead.

Did I mention that Christopher Columbus is really a blasphemous historical person, it was him, the main culprit, the father of all sinful exploits and fountainhead for all the tedious and wordy chapters in HIS 251!!! Uber blasphemous kan? Without him, we don't even need to suffer through all these shits of burning midnight oil for mugging like a baby eating zombie. Worse thing is I don't understand a shit out of it at all if you were to ask me to explain what I've learnt, nope, I doubt it is sinful for 65% of the class doesn't know what's happening even until the end of semester, it happens all the while. There, reminds me of my PSY exam today, can't be easier to describe, gone case or come back next semester. Nooo.

CHM, yet another foreseeable gone case. Wth with all those compound namings, structures and REACTIONS?! You see, we did most of the quizzes in open book manner, now that the final exam is based solely on immediate situational judgement, in this sense, "open book" is completely beyond reasonable topic. Mahai. I swear I'm gonna study real hard next semester (duh!) but the thing is I don't even know what subjects I will be taking...not many choices around that can arouse my interest except for Philosophy and World Religion or maybe US History II? I don't mention sciences because those are my core subject and I don't enjoy myself reading abstract forms of symbols and numerical combos than reasoning and general knowledge. Sighs. Whatever it is, I think I will enjoy more during my major year + clinical training year. I THINK I will.

**********

You, I'm totally no way near interested to know how good you lead your life currently or how bad you think your life is. I'm not bound to know them FFS. I have my own life and that's it. It doesn't phase me how you gonna spend your time anyways. Or I shall put it this way, I'll MMOB and you shall MYOB. Come on, I bet you won't want me to be honest, will you?

Adios.

I st-st-stuttered.....

I seriously can't get this shit outta my head, it keeps chanting at me over and over again like super mantra gnawing at all the things I've studied for Sociology albeit not much has been covered so far! Omg it's worse than the bubbly ella ella eh eh eh ehhhhh...

seeSeeSEE!

It's coming again...gosh stop me!

The last time I freaked out
I just kept looking down
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about
Felt like I couldn't breathe
You asked what's wrong with me
My best friend Lesley said "Oh she's just being Miley"
The next time we hang out
I will redeem myself
My heart it can rest 'till then
Wow wow I
I can't wait to see you again

-_-

It's addictive (addictive =/= me likey!) and I don't even watch Hannah Montana.

Alrite, back to mugging, 6 more chapters (that's like 300 more pages) to go!

I gotta st-st-study ftw :D

You've Got No life?

To those who stumbled upon this forlorn blog by googling their names from search engines. I have a message for you,
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WHATYOUSAINTEDMUSHROOMHEADSGOTNOLIFEISITWHOTHEHELLDOYOUTHINKYOUAREWHYAREYOUSONARCISSISTICTOTHINKYOUCANREAPSOMEUNDESERVEDFAMEISITWHATMAKESYOUTHINKYOUAREFAMOUSTHATPEOPLESHOULDGOBYALLMEANSMENTIONYOURHOLYDIVINITYNAMEONTHEIRPAGENOWGETYOURSELFAPIECEOFMINEYETSOYOUCANJOLLYWELLFUCKOFFANDSTOPSTALKINGONOTHERSBLOGLIKEYOUNEVERBEENDISCOVEREDDICKHEADSYOUARESODUMBTHATYOUDONTEVENKNOWYOUAREUNDERSURVEILLANCEIHAVEMYULTIMATETOOLTHATTHERESNOWAYIWILLTELLYOUWHATISITYOUSHOULDKNOWIFYOUARESMARTBUTIFYOUDONTUNFORTUNATELYYOUAREOPPOSITEOFITDUMBASSBACKOFFANDSTFUALTF4KTHXBYE!

Horrorcles ~Black Friday~

Know what?

Massive man today!

I slept at 5am after having online discussion with J.Goh (our lawyer).

Thought of waking up at 7 for college.

My alarm (the innocent one with cute melody!) didn't work on me.

I realised only when the sun was up.

Gosh, it was already 8 and my history trial was at 9. Beyond that I might gonna face ceremonious condemnations by groupmates/Borges and a rather usual door lock, Borges is very particular about that especially.

So I rushed my donkey life outta hell, put on my formals and ran like mad to the condo gate to flag down taxi.

Good, I must had been invisible, cos none of the cabbies showed signal to stop! Fuck double fucks triple fucks infinite fucks! It's early in the morning and not even rush hour cos the jam had already cleared.

After several failure attempts with the addition of sending SOS to MK for lift but too bad it's already 8.45 (hello!) MK was in college already, on the verge of giving up, there it was, a quasi-philanthropic cabbie honked me perhaps noticing the dismay written conspicuously on face.

In normal situation, I would just turn down the "goodwill" because there's no free lunch in this world, there's price to pay for everything. Upon expecting some shady deal, there, expected outcome, exorbitant fare tendered targeted at my desperation. Burned 8 more bucks than usual. That's like 120% extra. Dealed since I got no strength for further arguements or negotiations all thanks to my carb. free diet on a day 3. I demanded him to speed since there was no jam at all. I reached SS15 from my place in 8 minutes (reached at 8.58) time! That's exactly 2 minutes away from trial time haha...got off happily and went straight to lecture hallprinting shop to print my Q&A sheets. Bah! I don't know what's wrong with my pendrive and computer cos they just decided to arse around with me. My answers were all gone and nowhere on earth to retrieve! Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! How am I supposed to testify on the stage later since I can't do it spontaneously due to the lack of rehearsal! Sometimes I just wonder how bad can my luck goes. Luckily (duh!), J.Goh still kept his unmodified copy of my Q&A, I begged Borges for some extra time to print and rushed back to the hall to edit freehandedly, mental recollection la! I was supposed to be the first who go up but I managed to switch with "Casino owner which I'm having affair with". Luckily (2 x duhs!), I managed to answer accordingly at least without much stutterings and pauses in between despite having to crap a little to the jury out of instant fit (not easy ok!). I hate spontaneity! That's why I kinda screwed up my Impromptu speech during last semester. Oh well, Borges didn't comment much but he grinned a lot perhaps was in good mood, so we were all happy. Jun Yi (opponent counsel) was picking on language aspects instead of my testimonies, I got so annoyed to the point that I had to argue for the betterment of self preservation! He was getting on my nerves, I just fired back furiously cos I was kinda green already haha, and I still don't know why the whole fucking class was so overwhelmed that time. Too aggressive already I guess but it felt so good la after my turn was up. Huge relief! And I got an exclusive apology from Jun Yi later haha but it's only a role-playing mock trial so I told him he owes me nothing, I'm cool, since we both received the fair share of verbal mockery.

All's well that ends well, our counsel or rather our group claimed victory with a shocking 2/3 majority votes from the jury panel. It was so fun and happy to know that verdict, American Government DOES NOT in any ways owe an apology to the American Indians (in the mock trial). They did apologize in real life, haha, whatever! I'm so gonna miss Borges' lesson after all the thicks and thins. Trial was sooo fun. Hopefully, I'll still have the spirit burning by the semester to take US History II, since it's from 1877 to present so I guess (or so I heard) much more easier and relevant. Who knows but definitely I'm up for another trial, trial is part of the courseworks in HIS 251/252 during long semester under Prof. Borges which carries 15% I think. I'm gonna miss Miss Jane too haha...time really flies by like an arrow in the twink of a wink in the blink of an eye and fruit flies like an old banana haha. Today is the last day of lecture classes in semester 3. Next up will be the deadly finals!

Psy - can read.
Soc - can read.
His - can read but will die.
Chm - can't read, so die.

:(

Today, it's as if I just gone for a trip to hell and came back to reality. It feels so nice to be embraced by oxygen, smell of gases, peoples, sounds...etc once again cos the sense of being stimulated by gravity force is very authentic now :D

I'm reliving. I won't die so easily yet.

Horrorcles

Fuhhh...

Miss M rocks my socks man!
Apparently she can't finish teaching like 7 freaking chapters before the final next week.
So we got first hand tips!
She's the best of the best I tell you, supposingly final covers chapter 11-18 but she only managed to touch on a few pints of chapter 12 so far during the last class of the semester and then downplayed all the other chapters on hand, slapped us with excuses that hinting the unimportance of some untaught chapters.
Freaking stim right?
Where to find such lecturer around???
Right here, exclusively brought to you with all hearts, vow to give the best education of all, one and only, ICSJ!
And I see no reasons why you still not tempted to enrol to ICSJ after viewing this post.
And we're supposed to keep our lips sealed, oops.

Then to my horror, I practically had no idea that Sociology exam falls on NEXT Monday!
I thought it should be sometime around next Tuesday cos according to past history, our final papers are usually spread within wide interval of time between each other.
And my luck has got the better of me again!
Not only having 2 papers clashing at the same time, after final appeal, exam office pandai pak pandir decided to allot 2 slots for that particular 2 papers still on the same day but different time.
Good, lepas mulut buaya, now masuk mulut harimau pulak!
How can Chemistry II and US History I co-exist on the same day?
Stupid.
I shall end all these miseries by burning down my story-based textbook, mix water and drink.
Hopefully, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Christopher Columbus, King George III-IX...just anyone of them can bless me and possess me in the exam hall. *roll eyes*
Fuck those 16 chapters of whatnots.

Without questions beyond doubts, me gonna lead a drop dead awesome life on the days ahead.

Breakfast, lunch, high tea, dinner, supper = mugging ftw!

Hopefully the efforts given are all recipocral!

Monday thoughts

I used to be afraid of ghosts. Of those things that lurk behind corners and in the dark.


I don't know when I've stopped.


Stopped being afraid of going into the dark. Stopped switching on the lights when I go into a room.


I think it was when I realize I have more reason to be afraid of human. Of the evil that lies in the heart of man. Humans are even scarier.


p/s : Thank Ms. Jane for bestowing a chance of resiting the quiz that I missed last Friday!

:)

Just hung up a call that lasted 4 hours all the way from Arizona.

Damn I'm dehydrated.

Love ya' Cheryll *muacks* can't wait to see you in no time!

Weekend thoughts 2

And Benjanmin says " life is like a game of cards, the hands that dealt you is determinism, the way you play it is free will".

Future will always be there, it's just unevenly distributed. The world is fair and we do enjoy certain degree of free will in hands. When we talk about free will, why should we whine and cry the hell over issues of life? Aren't we all chosen what to do in the first place? Therefore, we should also have the guts to be responsible over the outcome be them good or bad.

Not like someone is pointing a gun over your little brain threatening for point blank forcing you into committing whatever it is. Everything happens for a reason. When the next time you try to seek comfort from someone else over your problems, sit back and think whether you are deserved for that problem itself or not prior to any further.

Forget about the crap of seeking religious shelter also cos according to Karl Max when you have religion, you are emotional imbalanced. If there's no god but your own god, then why we need so many religions for? If your religion is the greatest the almighty the superior then why are you still judgemental? If all that I'm saying are blasphemous and I should go to hell, then you should be more eligible to leave for hell cos you are no god and technically you can't sentence verdict over me. If you simply want me to rattle this on...they are endless.

Digressed. Anyways, there's no problem with other people before you look into yourself to see the core. It's always lies in there, somewhere inside here, H-E-A-R-T. You understand what I mean.

Thus, I deserve my own demise as well.

**********

History court trial on next week, what should a historian wear? I'm the historian of my council and I've seen other group wearing fancy costumes like french maid gown, slaves dresses, fedora, wigs and came all dressed in full suits! Very kua zhiong lor, at first I thought it was just a normal run of the mine mocked trial, then these people very pandai they went and took hassles to rent fancy gowns, so kiasu! Now the pressure has been put upon our trial next week, the final week of this semester! What should I wear?! How am I gonna withstand another 3 hours of constant stoning without the freedom to drink, to laugh, to move around during the trial process? And lastly, WHERE AM I SUPPOSE TO FIND TIME TO STUDY WHEN EVERYTHING CHUNK IN ON THE FINAL WEEK? Very mind boggling indeed. Haih, this weekend marks another week has gone by dalam sekelip mata, maka, selangkah dekat dengan finals!

@.@

**********

Then today I was so pandai pak pandir! I thought of submitting my journal before the extra class starts which I did not mean to go at all that obviously was a wrong move! I went to SOLLA and rang the bell, one lecturer came answer and I ask for the availability of Miss M. cos I thought she sure wouldn't be there and I could just put my journal in her pigeon hole. Then to my horror, she was there and readily available! I was like shit, this is no turning back, how am I supposed to explain when she ask me why don't I hand in the journal in class later. My expectation came true, she did ask why! And as a person who sucks in telling lie of cos my statements were rather illogic and handicapped, she knew that I was lying but oh well I can't be bothered right now...I just hope she won't be mm song at me and fail me again in final cos she kept asking me "your date is more important than your study eh...?" with that kinda doubtful expression...I swear it was fucking awkward for me! I wish I can just hide in the pigeon hole for good or minimize myself into something that to the size of dust particle! Diu...sigh I should account for my mishaps! A totally wrongful move! Bad impression means bad grade! She won't even give my any kesian marks now...and I have to hit the gym freaking early and leave before 5pm now lest will bump into her and meet a series of awkwardness lor! Cos she usually will be there at the same gym as me after touch down from work like around 5 something to 6! I'm gonna switch soon...cibai! See how far my luck goes.

Weekend thoughts

I really love what the 14th Dalai Lama says like,

" destruction of your enemy is destruction of yourself"

" there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so"

"i want freedom in this world, not from this world"

"Tibet can exist internally in spirit and imagination even if it is barely visible on the map,communities can be linked not by common soil so much as by common ground, a common foundation"

Taken from an article of Time magazine March 31st edition.

**********

The Nobel prize for Peace he won is definitely well deserved. If every political and religious leaders think in this way, the word "war" would not even exist in the first place. Can you imagine he's being sent into exile out of his motherland due to political pressure but yet he still stresses peace and making his way to reconcile with those who see him as a threat (Chi *coughs*na*coughs*). I mean what's wrong with peace talk? I definitely despise those who seize the chance to boycott Olympic in Beijing, I think those people are just plain losers who cannot see the good of rising China but I think China has been burying their head in the ground all these while on Tibetan issue. Granted, Tibet is currently an autonomy territory but China could control their defense and foreign affair so long as Tibetans have sovereignty over everything else. In reality, China has injected vast developments to Tibet economy such as bringing excessive material possessions which against spiritual interests into the virgin land of Tibet. Just picture the scene of Potala Palace being mockingly surrounded by bars, clubs, brothels and so forth. So the ironic part also lies in the mammoth project of Beijing-Lhasa railway, although it open up a whole new chapter to tourism in China, people like me will be more than happy because I've been wanting to step on the land since forever and the railway has pulled my "dream" nearer to reality but then again it could mean another whole new different thing to the purity of Tibet since it can be flooded by commercial developments, environmental pollutions and pushing them one step closer to the China capitalism realm.

Another thing I admire about the 14th Dalai Lama is the non-fundamental thinking of him in terms of buddhism teachings. He's no where rigid like some of our poseurish spiritual leaders here in Malaysia where guys and girls should draw a clear line, all guys and girls should turn into homosexual (alright, ignore the latter haha) but somehow he rejects any teachings that has been disproved by scientific inquiry. How noble, big hearted and liberal in thinking! He wants freedom from ignorance and suffering it brings but what China wants are freedom from the past and backwardness. See the difference between a political leader and spiritual leader here?

Personally I think genuine harmony must come from the heart and not from the barrel of a gun. This is what the capitalist world will not ever get it. And those phony westerners all they treat Tibet as the last spiritual and virgin land on earth, here, they protest against the material development of Tibet and saying China violates humanity but at their end, they are doing exactly the same thing to the world. Releasing CO2, propagandize, freemasonry, creating social conflicts, many rules by few...lotsa lotsa political gimmicks FFS, globalization is another thing, the rich will be richer and the poor will be poorer, cultures will be eroded and go into limbo forever, capitalism will rule the world, realistic, pragmatism...and if they would happily call those as upholding humanity acts. Whatever they say, all about human rights and they do not even understand a shit about the quality of being humane themselves. Have you ever heard of China waging war against any countries in this world? In past history, there were only civil wars within China but not a single one was made against others. Steven Spielberg is also another piece of shit, who does he thinks he is? His films are all crappy and I do not even wanna mention how sickening of me to suffer through "War of The World". If he is so concern about the well being of Darfur, he should have withdrawn all his properties and donates them to whatever foundation catering to Darfur. They just can't see the good of rising China, China is not a threat, is an opportunity and transition of global economy power.

China should really probe this issue openly with Tibet and of course talk to Tibetan leader in peaceful manner without involving any form of violence. And westerners just stop demeaning the innocents. MYOB.

I'm thinking of taking Philosophy next semester. Hope it can focus more on modern philosophy. Kthxbye.

Growth cycle

Stage 1 : Flat. Happy go lucky. Sense of being.
Stage 2 : Curiosity.
Stage 3 : Appearance. Social ties.
Stage 4 : Chesty and overbearing pride.
Stage 5 : Compromising. Acceptance as a way of life.
Stage 6 : Anticipation.
Stage 7 : Reality and truth.
Stage 8 : Great awakening.
Stage 9 : As it is. Let it be.
Stage 10 : Disappointment.
Stage 11 : Greater awakening.
Stage 12 : Depression
Stage 13 : See red.
Stage 14 : Realization.
Stage 15 : End.
Stage 16 : New chapter.

Different perspectives marked at different stages. A progressive development that illustrates how ripening takes place. Nonetheless, it spans around 2 years on me.

*****

I absolutely can't believe that I flunked PSY 105 midterm, how on earth can this be happening? It's only an elective art subject and Miss M (da rookie lecturer) gotta answer for this. I've/We've never seen a lecturer of non-core subject failed his student in such a graceful manner. Good, and I'm having a presentation on that effing subject this week. So gonna boycott her...but too bad the presentation is part of courseworks!

And friends, what's wrong with my Sociology marks? If you think I don't deserve it, come confront me directly and don't gossip behind like wusses.

Alright, I die die also must pull my PSY and CHM grade up again this time. Especially PSY...I still don't believe that I got 2 "eggs" for 2 essays respectively given in the name of HER SAINTED MOTHER's prehistorical senses. Hello there, I studied. I got the relevant points or at least touched the tip of answers by my layman's explanation is better than NONE but why I got NONE, yea NONE, for 2 page-full of essays. Holy mackerel! If she thinks this is funny then she can jolly well kiss the floor and eat sands. Hope she loses her job by next semester as OUR wish since she is still under probation. I'm seriously gonna sound the AUP office if they ever bestow me a lecturer as such in future by all means.

3 more weeks to final...like wow how fast.

Jia You!

Today, upon my divine checking on the newly drafted final exam timetable, CHM 152 and HIS 251 still clashing and the worse of it is both papers got postponed to 2 days later of the previous drafted date instead of being seperated. Meaning I will be deprived for 2 more extra holidays!

I tell you ICSJ is really good for nothing, the exam office might as well tear down altogether when they are gonna demolish the old block and all the person in charge should just get sacked for good. My lord, now they are asking me to prepare for quarantine on that day instead of revising the timetable -_____- . With all their respects, are they like mad or brain damaged? Hello, History and Chemistry on the same day, I'm not gonna get further quarantined for running amok lor...cos most probably I'll be appeared like living dead.

Heck I'm so lost already, courseworks are fucking up my patience.

p/s : I can't stand myself anymore for writing all these run of the mill anecdotes. I shall revamp my writing habit and polish up my language. I don't mind my language without improvement but I realized that apart from not improving it is facing a downward mobility! I'm no longer like those day where every of my homeworks and tutorials consist only long winded writing and more writings(General Paper, IELTS, Econs and Law). On top of that, people around me hardly speak languages other than English itself, let alone having English speaking campaign or English day that sort of undernourished event. It felt so normal and comfortable those days but it changed drastically ever since I came here. I've heard assorted Chinese dialects being spoken and if you don't speak at least Mandarin or Cantonese, the likelihood of being segregated is on the high end of the scale. We are no longer in a natural state to converse in English. I only hear pseudo-American slang dotting around in campus and class. How pathetic. Why can't they be themselves and must they swim into dominant culture in a land that doesn't dominate by that culture itself? What a shame.

Birthday

The ex-A-level people that turned up during Dashni's house party (above pic without Emily).

Anyways, Happy Sweet 21st to Dashni!

And that house is equals to half ICSJ's old campus size equipped with private pool and private tennis court...what more to ask?! Golf course or private park?

p/s : I'm so proud of the guy who owned himself 21 A's in SPM, what's next 30 A's? 50 A's? Credits are all due to BN for never fails to bring homemade education achievement to higher level every year. It is no wonder why we are venturing (travelling or whatsoever) the space in no time cos to us nothing is TAK BOLEH! :D *loud applauds* But why you people didn't vote for them?

CoCo ramblings

Colbie Caillat Live in Malaysia at Laundry Bar. It was good. Unplugged was nice, and the band, unlike conventional dingdingdongdonggimmegimmeellaella pop. Turn off was the unexpected downpour, Adam C and Natalie. They irritated me. Hell those sikinnahs got nothing better to do after school. Bitch who refused to help, curse her bf for contracting STD 10 years while still making out with her. Photographers, if you fucking wanna show off your top notch DSLR and fucking block my view please ass off and kiss the ground. I'm there to listen to her performance, and you just wanna capture what is worth instead of the singing, please fuck off. This is a musical performance, not photography event. I just wasn't born with enough middle fingers to deal with it. Nonetheless, CoCo rocks but some of her songs can be very similar in tunes and sleep inducing. Still worth listening and those lyrics can't be more meaningful.

I swear I won't be going to gig as such anymore without necessary needs. Hell packed like highly compressed sardine and we were being treated like bunch of restless and mischievous monkeys only. HELL YA WE PAID OK? And fucking waited for 1 freaking hour or more off the clock when we were not supposed to waste the time (masa itu emas!). My brain was figuratively boiling whilst waiting for those shit RSVP. Punctuality, learn that up! Especially when people were in drench, mood were dampened, and yet you still put your interest in supreme position as if the 1000+ of us were just phantoms for temporary needs? Fuck your PA system they don't mean a shit. What comes to your mind when 1000+ of us from everywhere set afoot on this place for? You demand, we supply. Now let me tell you, throw your PA system into cesspit. You don't even need them without acknowledging our existence.

p/s : For some reasons, Sg. Wang is full of lalas and you think that is the worst? Not until you saw the scene over shopping malls in PJ. Cultures are diversified and subdivided into many subcultures which having too much hypocrisy and grass-are-greener-on-the-other-side effects. Malaysians are turning into identity crisis era although much of us still upholding democracy prima facie. We know what we want but we don't know how far should we go.

19th RS encountered miscarriage cos MCA did not achieve landslide victory this time instead sent packing off their long occupied office! It has already been replaced with visitation and camp but yet to be officially announced la...how unlucky again.

Sekian.

Phantom

I dreamt of you an hour ago in my sleep.

You were pinching my cheeks and I pinched yours.

Sweet :)

Just a dream.

Counting mishaps

As being told earlier, March is really a black month.

1. Screwed quizzes, tests and missed class unintentionally. (cliche i know)
2. My membership for certain fashion retail with initial G wasn't being recognised as I wanted to
buy few garments today!
3. Got drunk for nothing and embarrassed myself.
4. Lost some money to a certain someone whom I didn't wish to spend those money on
otherwise.
5. One of my zijiren friends got into a serious accident and warded.
6. One of my high school friends who share the same given name with me got into a fatal accident. Apparently he's a wedding photographer and was lifting 1 wed couple when his car crashed and the couple died and he survived. Suffering from guiltiness and primary nervous breakdown currently.
7. Just realised one of my sometime-close-sometime-distanced friends had secret grudge towards me and backstabbed me in front of my closest friends. But my friends are truthful enough to tell me her act of undermining from within so we all sooo gonna anti her now. Yea very old school indeed but who cares a shit. A loosely mouthed person aka mulut murai. Bah!
8. Uncle passed away. :(

Luckily I won some measly $ upon my first visiting to Genting Casino. I love roulette! I dah legal tender now.

However still, everything turned out to be disastrous in the end. Fuck.

Requiem of 20

Dear blog,

I have some contemplation before my adulthood. In the mean time, I have to put matter of my Uncle's death and tests aside to sit in front of my laptop, stare into nothingness, come out with these writings. I feel compelled eventhough I've tried so hard to prevent any kinda depressing materials published but hands outroared mind very often. Anyways, what do you people usually request to receive on your birthday? Perhaps you say, something to inscribe THE day in your mind forever.Still what? I don't even know what I want when asked by parents for this coming 21st's. Well then, I could have just asked for anything but I didn't because whatever that I want on the surface might not reflect the beneath's. So what if I got more moolahs, more gadgets, more foods...it's just something you already having but greed for MORE beyond the threshold and it goes on forever without being contented. Then I told my parents, I want happiness after I couldn't think of any (of cos they thought I was having them on). On top of that, I think I'll want a chance to see into future or a reminder of an imperfect past or the ability to turn back time or the ability to prevent someone from misfortune...I know it's worse than building castle in the air but let's just say I don't want to be shallow and opting for the unconventionals.

Many birthdays I may have counted off, each and every year it comes around quietly. Do these birthdays make me happy? I would have to say "not really". Just turning from 20 to 21, who is going to view that as a great accomplishment? Can you imagine how many people born on the same year leaping across this age at the same time? Of cos, if a doctor tells me "you will not live beyond the age of 21" and later I greet the dawn of my 24th, that is something worth celebrating. Indeed, a great accomplishment. For better or worse, I have never been handed with this kinda situation so my birthdays never makes me unusually happy. We party then we dismiss. That's for all. Hoping next birthday will be merrier. Conventional.

Now did I just give a big slap on someone else's face or do I sound bitter? Not at all. I have been revolving around few tests and assignment due date this week. So expectedly, yea...but belated ones are no harm rather than none I supposed (i am hypocrite at times). It's just any other day with or without cakes and candles. If you like, celebrate everyday like birthday, buy a cake for yourself whenever you feel like. If you feel the need for a commemoration, go get yourself a tattoo then. Seek for parental advice beforehand, if it's too late, tell yourself "it's easier to be forgiven than to ask for permission"(Ramya's cliche lol).

A reminder to all, please cherish your love ones around you when they are still sound and alive. Do your part before it's too late.

Till then.

XoXo,
Tristan

Not a good day

1. Downpoured like mad. Rosh left without me! Thanks Sheryl for being the saviour of the day :)
2. Phone died on me summore. Paid effing RM 150 to repair on the spot, feel like kena conned. Damn Nokia(Authorised service centre tim!) fucking crook.
3. Chem II quizzes gagal keliling pinggang.
4. Chem II test 2 coming.
5. History I midterm test tomorrow. Only one chapter covered.
6. Our beloved Uncle Steven passed away out of a sudden(heart attack) this morning in Guangzhou before he started off his another quest of voluntary lecturing. Unbelieveable as he seemed sound and strong to us during CNY and could fled around Malaysia and Singapore actively during that period of him in South East Asia. I was practically floating and puzzled when mum told me about that. It's the biggest joke ever made for us to accept. It's like the minute before he was still cheering up the atmosphere back home, then the minute later he's already lying there without temperature. How cruel. I'm damn sad now. Totally out of mood. Anyways, sis going to Guangzhou tomorrow together with Aunt and Cousins for his funeral. His ashes will be resting in Singapore instead of the States for eternal peace.

Please rest in peace dear Uncle Steven.
Deepest condolence to Aunt, Terence and Kit Lun.

Another deep sigh to life...

I feel homesicked now.

I am easy and greasy

Do you know what's the best way to fry your brain up in less than 5 minutes?

Read US History to 1877. (Specifically Mark Carnes' and John Garraty's)

You are worse than a hypocrites if you were to tell me George Washington, John Adam, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison...are "interesting". I swear those security guards at the post can talk better. This is so classic.

Oh well, gonna binge so hard later.

Study is shit.

And you...

STFU alt F4 kthxbai.

How?

STACT Club interview session a while ago.

Result yet to be release on 3rd.

Syarat-syarat keahlian seperti berikut :

1. No coloured hair -check-
2. No skimpy outfits (duh!) -check-
3. No earring (wtf!)

The worst thing they haven't pointed out is what they didn't expect I will have at first place judging on my near stoic nerdy face.

My divine symbol of peace!

Time to evangelize myself. Should I?

First of all, how to camouflage them???

Weary

I'm so tired.

Of human relationship.

Of friendship.

Of academic pressure and the non- of it.

Of the secret grudge between few of my close friends.

Of the mask I have to put on everyday.

Of the me who is not the me at world's stage.

Of the me who can only be me behind the curtain.

Of the neutralised me and the me who longing for all good.

Of everything I want which I don't get.

It's so hard to please everybody these days.

Ketiadaan

Sepet.

I have a strong grip for it.

Yet I got no courage to say those words out loud.

My dear, there are only three.

Three's and the go.

But...I think it's getting away from me cos somehow it changed.

No longer the quality I yearned for.

Or maybe that's the little part I omitted.

Whatever, I don't like things being so much galvanized by contemporary vanity and philistinism as I turn older.

I shall move on.

I ought to be happy, therefore I am happy

When I was in the cab just now, this indian driver broke the silence and went, "Are you going for tuition,boy?"

..........

Muahaha. Seriously this is by far one of the most delightful sentence in 2008. I nearly gave the driver 10 more bucks upon hearing this. You know when people of my age approaching adulthood and leaving adolescent but yet still nostalgic about those salad days (and John Locke would have went like "tabula raaaaasaaa!"), you will soon realise la, I'm the prototype of people of my kind. Tell me who doesn't deserve to be young (by heart or whatever) at least once in a lifetime.

And my mum always have something about my look cos she thinks that I look older than my age and sound very "chao lao"(ripe?). Worse to worst, I have more wrinkles after my face got smaller. Why ah?

On an irrelevant note, I was ordering some pretzels from Auntie Anne's a while ago. When I told them the flavour that I wanted. They stared at me in blank. I was like wtf! Cheez, was I not suppose to pronounce "Jalapeno" natively? I told them "ha-laa-pee-nyo" and they would have thought I was uttering Thai or Swahili in this multilingual melting pot of KLCC. So many tourists around and what if they happen to encounter a real Mexican? And I'm still quite surprise to hear people around me Americanize the word "bolognaise", hello it's "boh-loh-nyeh-seh" not "boo-lock-nee-sss". I'm not a pro-American although I'm pursuing their degree, it's just so that Malaysian's is still pretty much left behind or I should say improving. I'm doing for my own interest, who cares about patriotism, can they feed your stomach? Action speaks louder. Please hor, I'm not turning the table ok? I still love Malaysia regardless of what. Digressed.

p/s : Omg I just saw some fireworks coming from Subang's direction when I was typing this post. But no point to have watched alone cos when the fireworks end, I'm carry on with my life as usual. And then, where have all the alarm clocks gone in KL besides Pasar Malam's? I've been hunting for one but to no avail so far, no wonder KL-ians all lack of the beauty of punctuality. I hate using hp as alarm clock. Mafan.

70% Green Tea + 30% Choya = reeeeelaxxxxxxxxxx~

Hira Hira Hira Yura Yura Yura...let the petals of cherry blossom fall!

Fat free post

Doing a lot of exercises.

Orofacial exercises and respiratory exercises.

Having buffet* is the best way to build up muscles on cheek cos when you eat a lot you can't stop training your jaws.

Singing is the best medicine to train a powerful lung, I can proudly proclaim 100 litres of oxygen per inhale is no longer a myth now.

Now tell me why do I need gym membership for?

I have good cardio stamina, good lung capacity and tight facial skin, what more can I ask?

Now I'm broke after several impulsive exorbitant buffet dinner and gambling which never won.

I'll never play blackjack with those sikaokinna anymore!

*Not applicable to Karaoke chain's buffet cos the food taste like a mixture of animal pisses.

p/s : Malaysian street food always have a place in heart but I miss all the seafood bars, endless fresh catch oysters, escargots, abalones, crabs, prawns, some unidentified clams, free flow of raw salmon and mackerel cutlets *drools*. Being a foodie is seriously sucks BIG TIME.

There is always a time for homemade salad, Tristano Delizioso Insalata on top of having the greatest fear of 6 days classes in a week straight. FUCK M. cos she victimised us by a 9 am class on Saturday, a 3 good hours lesson some more. Promising to finish a whole new chapter on that lesson, how evilish. Anyways, I'm so not coming cos I just wanna sleep. And I think every Saturday will be reserved for REMEDIAL classes from this week onwards. Double fucks!

Kthxbye.

Bedtime's thought 2

I've tried to manage.

I've tried to fathom.

But I still find myself clueless in the realm of vanity.

I'm being too overenthusiastic.

Actually the measurement is overly simple to accept.

Cos it's a surface matter and nothing's too deep.

Why the need of better instruments when things are so mundane?

Afterall it's all about single cell affairs.

Simple things make simple, complex things make possible.

I can be different, I can be the same, simple enough?

Bedtime's thought

See sometimes it's very funny,

when you feel the need to drift away for some social comfort,

they point at you and called you a deviant.

Then...

when you are impowered, your life is worthier than gold.

With filthy prestiges and cheap respects.

But,

when you are powerless, you are no where remote from a fallen leaf.

Or outcaste?

We are creating standards that contradict each others in some forms not known to us in the eyes.

Standards are just what people perceive, doesn't come by nature. Not actions but reactions. No right or wrong.

So don't judge me with your shallow standards.

I'm different in my own ways.

So as you.

A 20 and a 3 and a half quarters

Fortune Cookies




新年要开心，所以我很开心。

The V Chapter

Have been seeing flowers and bears since the 13th roaming the streets.

Can't they just think of any other things better to give aside from cakes, chocs, bears, flowers and cakes and chocs and bears and flowers and...oh well.

If this is gonna carry on for forever, what's the difference between Qing Ming Festival and V day? Every year we visit graveyard and offer flowers as a respect, soon became a symbol. But V day ain't got nothing to do with symbolism IMHO. It's a day of love and caring appreciation. Flower and so are optional. Nothing to symbolize, it's the bonding of love and caring between 2 persons that matter. The efforts run by both...this is a day to show appreciation instead of throw on a flower and get it over. I mean, if it were to happen to me, I will be overjoy to receive flowers and other conventional goods as well but later on I will have to ponder a little bit, what's the practical point? I receive flowers this year and I won't remember what actually happened this year by the next V day hits. I will be sitting around anticipating another bouquet of flowers again, if I doesn't receive any, still I will be sad and I definitely won't feel thankful for last year. It's already being pampered with materialism without meaning.

Last year. This year. Next year. 10 years later. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. 10 days later. No matter when, when you're in love with the right person. V day happens everyday. Everyday will be meaningful enough, deeply engraved in mind. Not just yet another day of flowers and chocs.

Flowers will die. Chocolates are diabetic and fattening.

Then again, singleton is bitter.

Chapter 1.0

Sorry Ed for getting the wrong info. La Q doesn't open on weekdays lol. I'm so gonna miss you after all these. Anyways, I think Ardii is a darn gorgeous creative director. At least he thinks differently than all the conventional people. Like he said, all these peoples are pretentious. Going there is like attending a materialistic fashion party. First they talk about their history of sex then fashion....way too shallow. Malaysian and those, what to do? And I didn't know Willian is a photographer and he owns a studio tim!

Anyways thanks for the companionships these few days. I shall wake up on time to commute to college starting tomorrow. Life has been quite bitchy and tiring after CNY. I need a rehab!

Happy Singletine. And have fun on the 14th.

Adios.

This Year

Hm...

college sucks. Class cancelled here and there, stranded in library for good now. I could have rested for another day.

KMC is comfy, but lifeless and dark as usual. Mosquitoes are visible at high floors still. Big turn off.

My mouth is full of ulcers currently as a result of CNY heaty goodies. Although it was for only a short few days but I never gave up a single second without eating. My fridge is FULL of chocolates now! They are selling darn cheap at their native countries. Esp. the extra dense and sweet Ferrero that keep cajolling my resistant. I ate quite a number of them T.T

Lunar 28th : accompanied Mum to pasar malam for some marketing.
Lunar 29th : went Changi Airport to fetch Sis and Moon.
Lunar 30th : reunion dinner at some restaurant then fetched Terence and Uncle Steven back to Sg.
Lunar 1st : bai nin with paternal grandparents and folks. Lepak, supper and chitchatting with cuzzies and folks until 4 am.
Lunar 2nd : bai nin with maternal grandparents and folks. Uncle's b'day celebration then mahjong mahjong mahjong till midnight :) !
Lunar 3rd : went Sg out of instant fit cos Sue wanna eat McD's red bean pie. Nothing to do in Sg so we went science centre (haha...CNY in science centre!). Right after Sg we drifted to Kota Tinggi for aunt's open house and still mahjong mahjong mahjong till we dropped. I lost 5 bucks only, FORTUNATELY. Late night sing K-ed with cuzzies at TC until 4 in the morning.
Lunar 4th : relatives came bai nin with my parents. Went back KL around past noon and jammed all the way back to Seremban and reached KL at 12 am. I've got no more senses on my buttock after a 10+ hours of car ride. F**k.
Lunar 5th : 1st day commuting to college! All the way here too early and class cancelled pulak.

Going back JB again this week to meet up friends and gamble, so as to send sis and Moon off on 2 consecutive days. Haven't touched poker cards yet this year. But anyone lack of mahjong kaki (preferable) please inform me by all means. Hands are getting itchy, wanna swim.

Rabbit "fan tai sui" this year, so be more alert when placing your bet.

Till then. Yet another report of what I've done where nobody will give damn.

Back For Good But Still Hibernating

HELP NIAN NING'S FAMILY, FIGHT WITH THEM :

Pls go to the following address and sign a petition against reckless bus drivers and companies.

BUSCRASHNOMORE.BLOGSPOT.COM

**********
Although my reaction is tad too slow on this but when I saw this news on newspaper lately it kinda hit me hard that one of the victim, Lee Nian Ning seems familiar but I doubted my perception until I saw one of my friends' blog yesterday about the departure of a bright young medical student in a recent bus crash in Penang.

Apparently, Lee Nian Ning was one of the JPA scholar holders which was doing her AUSMAT (Australian Matriculation) in Sunway University College back then during 2005-2006 when I was doing my A-levels there as well. She was my roommate Victor's friend and all of us were staying in Monash Condo Hostel. I used to see her around the lobby and college very often but I didn't know her though. Anyways, that's not the main point about. The thing is all we want is just a safe ride back home that's it, is it that hard to achieve? I think the government is blind (you may repeat this sentence for infinity times cos you know you are always right on this), so blind to have "overlooked" a serious matter on hands. Instead of spending time cracking brain on neverending racial issues, why not work on things that benefit people at large? There they go, another prospectful life perished in their hands. Happy? She could've been an outstanding doctor and osteologist in a few years time preparing to serve the relevant field in native country but...her life is just too vulnerable for ignorances and blindnesses. Just that it's not fair for her to die at this age in a course that could be avoided easily. Hope she will rest in peace regardless what...

I bet the government is still stoic right now, their previous effort was one-off. When the brouhaha rested, they would back to the same old piece again waiting for the next stimulus. Likewise, the snatch theft's brouhaha, Sharlinie's brouhaha...soon they will fade away and store in an obsolete folder at a negligible corner of a rack in a secluded data storage room, must I spell out the word "limbo" explicitly? Perhaps that's what they've been doing all these years. How "efficient" for them and "lucky" for us to have lived under their "laissez faire" governance. In Malaysia, we just have to pray to live longer without any dependency. Save $ to secure and finance your own life, social security scheme is not to their fundamental goal anymore nowadays.

RIP : IN LOVING MEMORY OF LEE NIAN NING (1987 - 2008)