An Impulsive Trip

First of all let me introduce you, Tanjung Pinang on Pulau Bintan, the capital city of Riau Islands Province (not to be mistaken as Riau Province cos the former attained seperated municipality out of the latter in year 2000). It is one of the few "highly" developed islands among Riau archipelago after Pulau Batam. Owing to our "ambitious" plan ahead, we felt compelled to go for a softcore backpacking trip to a 3rd world country as a rehearsal. Since it's too late to organise trip to any places that require means of transport moving above sea level (yes, plane!) and we are not golden spoon fed child which on rather tight budget saving, so we ought for the most economical place, transport and accommodation. Bintan is only 20+ KM away from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal in Singapore and around 40+ KM away (150 minutes ferry ride) from JB's Zon Ferry Terminal. We opted the latter to bypass Islands of Singapore, burned us RM 154 for a round ticket + Malaysia seaport tax surcharge. We decided to give it a go on the same day we made our move, that's why I called it "impulsive". Initially not planning to stay over night cos we just planned to look around for a day trip, and who knows we forgot the difference of timezone (yes, it is GMT +7, 1 hour behind Malaysian's), missed the last ferry back to JB. Stranded in Tanjung Pinang, we got blackmailed by 2 uninvited Indonesian accosters upon reaching the port and we had not even checked in to Indonesia yet! I've no idea where did they pop out from probably they are a syndicate and in collaboration with the immigration department to ambush around the custom area predating for victims. Mother fucker without testicles! (they are guys) I tell you, that place is full of crooks eyeing on our pocket, sad to say, seriously it is not ideal for tourist visit. The town is dirty, full of motorcycles, shabby buildings and able-men wandering around trying to offer tonnes of bogus deals like prostitution, hotel "services", blackmailing, escort services, charter "mobil"...kononnya. Actually what they want is none other than $. I had an unfavorable arguements with 2 of the accosters which took me RM 20 + Rp 10k to shoo them away, fuck! Lots of profanities exchanged and that 2 men spitted at us (not directly la) but their gestures are plain annoying and sickening. Luckily the local Chinese are helpful and friendly enough, they commonly speak Teo Chew, Bahasa Indonesia with Riau Malay's slang and Chinese, fortunately, I'm fluent in Teo Chew and Chinese (kinda) so I'd spoken to few sundry shop owners there regarding those outs and abouts on the island and sadly only to find out it's as little as none, haha. Oh yeah, I was impressed by my bahasa campur as well when talking to the natives, I mixed Malay with Indonesian haha (the local Chinese were impressed as well haha), but we blown our covers the minute we came out with Bahasa Melayu (slang?) which deemed foreign to them, strange. Malay is so formal/simplified but Indonesian is always full of street slang. Ngapain beda? Apa perbezaaannya?

Anyways, we wanted to charter a car to Trikora Beach which is 38 km away but they charged us like 400K Rp approx. RM 200 for less than a day, so we just tick it off for a no. And so, we checked in a Chinese owned hotel in the middle of the town which cost us only 100k Rp a night SPONTANEOUSLY. Haha just wanted a roof over head for a night that's all regardless of what.

It was really horrible, not only that place got no power supply during day time to our horror (except some shops will use generator instead as a compensation), it takes a long time to get power supply at night! I supposed the place where it's nearest to the the power plant will be supplied with electricity first and so on so forth. Tanjung Pinang could be few kilometers away from the plant, therefore, it takes longer time to get supplied. In the meantime, have to put up with it. Terrible right? So much for a capital city of a province. We waited until around 8-9 pm to get full electricity supply at the town (with streetlights and all, thank god most hotels are using generator). In any case, we dined at a Chinese eatery (serves awful but cheap vegetarian dishes) in the dark with only candle lights. -_- So dead. I wonder how people survive their days over here lackadaisically. That place got practically nothing! Not even a souveneir shop in sight. Good thing is, for RM 100 (300k Rp.) can last you more than a day at this town with bribery/blackmail, accomodation, food, knickknacks and even a full body massage. Yea, we went for 1 hour body massage (dapat gratis 15 menit extra and strangely "percuma" in Indonesian meaning "worthless" super -_- right?) at night out of boredom. Roaches and rats were roaming the streets...gross. It's really nothing special to shout about for that town. We did see a couple of white tourists that's all but I think they were heading to the beach and just made a pit stop over Tanjung Pinang.

We departed that Island early in the morning the next day like 7 am Indonesian time. At the Indonesian immigration, again were being coaxed into paying some suspicious boarding pass fees for 50k Rp (do we even need to pay when we exchange our air ticket for boarding pass?), it's so damn annoying, their custom officers all carrying the kabuki/suspicious faces that waiting for you to fall prey. Apparently, they will only ask for bribery from people holding foreign passports but sometimes even the native passport holders mainly Chinese, to them Chinese = rich regarding which places they are from. What the hell, no wonder the corruption rate in that country is one of the highest in the world, if you were to compare Malaysia with them, trust me we are far more better. I couldn't express how much I feel blessed to be born in Malaysia upon reaching JB land, it makes me love my country more. Those who still think that having born in Malaysia is most unfortunate thing in their life should get their arses over Bintan and take a look themselves. I just don't wanna go on and elaborate, you should know how good it is to live in a place like here at the same time taking lots of things for granted. If you think our Royal Malaysia Police is bad enough, wait till you see their Polisi Militer, totally bunch of useless bums. Alright, my critic is only restricted within the boundary of Pulan Bintan, perhaps it will be a totally different scene over Jakarta. I still love you Jessica, no worries haha! But an interesting fact is the media/entertainment industry in Indonesia is 10000x better than Malaysia's, it's always full of eye candies and nice rock ballads!

All in all, a short, intense, adventurous and eyes opening trip. Bagged home with tonnes of anecdotes, experiences and lessons in just 2 days 1 night.

Just a disclaimer, I won't condone to ethnocentrism or racism (I was once apprenticed with both Sociology and Anthropology ok!) but I can't tolerate bribery and corruption to happen especially most who committed them over that place are able-bodied. Unless they're paralysed or OKU then different story lah! BUT NO. The classic emoticon for Pulau Bintan's immigration officers and crooks would be ($_$).

And.

I heart Malaysia! Malaysia still boleh.

**********

One of the many bustling streets

Antennas

Alley

Jalur merah + putih berkibar di depan of some Istana or Mosque, forgot haha. Was in hurry.

At the monument, forgot the name as well haha. It was 6.30 am (GMT+7) in the morning, eyes were still swollen but we couldn't be happier cos we were heading back to civilization.

**********

p/s : Btw, I didn't know XiaXue had already blogged about her unpleasant experience in Pulau Bintan, had I know earlier about it I wouldn't even wanna lay my foot on this island I think and I almost booked a hotel room at one of the many beach resorts at Trikora which luckily I didn't, like she said, the photos shown on the brochure all look promising and highly photoshopped to lure your desire. Tanjung Pinang is still not much a tourism spot so things are still mainly charged in Rupiah (except for the lodging where we could choose to pay in SGD alternatively from Rupiah, of cos we gotta spend those Rp. because it's kinda worthless if we were to convert it back to RM afterall) and definitely cheaper if not expensive by all means, I paid only 60k Rp. for the massage which is around 13 SGD only. Finally, somebody share the same sentiment that Bintan is evil, just go Batam for a one day shopping trip will suffice, not worth staying over as we have plenty of sandy beaches back home. Those found on Danga Bay/East Coast Park/Sentosa are highly comparable to those in Bintan/Batam. *roll eyes* But then again, I'd love to go Bali if I have the time cos afterall that's the place to die for, if I'm wrong at this, millions of others will be in denial as well! Bali ftw :D

That 70's meme.

8 things I'm passionate about :

1. Ikea
2. My secret "ambitious" plan.
3. My close ones. (not many, you know who you are)
4. Bookstore
5. Photoshop
6. Tattoos and piercings (I'm getting an oral or nape soon!)
7. Diet (sad case...)
8. Singing (I'm John Legend's friend's roommate's penpal's neighbour's driver's friend's brother's
friend.)

8 things I say too often :

1. Walao eh
2. Niabeh
3. TMD
4. CCB
5. Fuck
6. Fuiyoh
7. Sien
8. Slap you

8 books I've read recently :

1. The Birthday Stories
2. The Kite Runner
3. Tokyo Tower
4. The Acid House
5. The Time Traveller's Wife
6. Men are from mars, Women are from venus
7. The Lonely Planet Story
8. Aiya...I've read more than 8 la...still reading The Kite Runner, I'd spent more time
on Sociology, Psychology, US History texts but I like Socio. text the most.

8 songs I could listen to over and over again :

1. Amy Winehouse - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
2. Bic Runga - Sway
3. John Legend - Coming Home
4. 王菲 - 红豆
5. Bjork - Declare Independence
6. Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
7. KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World
8. Miley Cyrus - See You Again (I st-st-stuttered when you...jeez!)

8+1 things I learned last year (non academic) :

1. Kill hypocrites (cliche rite?)
2. Ignorance is bliss
3. Ego is important
4. To hate is harder than to love
5. Deeper (as in not shallow)
6. Silence is golden
7. To give love to someone I loved (not worth and not recipocral)
8. To be mean
9. Honesty is a lonely word

I got none to tag, no one read this blog, none shall comment and not like comments are allowed anyways.

Till then. I'm so sleepy, stupid road block polices.

O.o

Morning.

It's 5 am and I'm still up, walking zombie here sending my morning regards to dear all mugging androids out there who are still refuse (or resist) to/from sleep at the wee.

You must be thinking how diligent I was on making progression for my last minute dired revision. The fact is, progression has been made so far with a good 0.0025% overall coverage following a gradual increasing trend, hello, look at the weather outside, it's so meant for cuddling those fluffy bolster and snuggle in slumber, I super love midnight rain and storm despite having a little emo over exams and foreseeing sleepness nights ahead.

Did I mention that Christopher Columbus is really a blasphemous historical person, it was him, the main culprit, the father of all sinful exploits and fountainhead for all the tedious and wordy chapters in HIS 251!!! Uber blasphemous kan? Without him, we don't even need to suffer through all these shits of burning midnight oil for mugging like a baby eating zombie. Worse thing is I don't understand a shit out of it at all if you were to ask me to explain what I've learnt, nope, I doubt it is sinful for 65% of the class doesn't know what's happening even until the end of semester, it happens all the while. There, reminds me of my PSY exam today, can't be easier to describe, gone case or come back next semester. Nooo.

CHM, yet another foreseeable gone case. Wth with all those compound namings, structures and REACTIONS?! You see, we did most of the quizzes in open book manner, now that the final exam is based solely on immediate situational judgement, in this sense, "open book" is completely beyond reasonable topic. Mahai. I swear I'm gonna study real hard next semester (duh!) but the thing is I don't even know what subjects I will be taking...not many choices around that can arouse my interest except for Philosophy and World Religion or maybe US History II? I don't mention sciences because those are my core subject and I don't enjoy myself reading abstract forms of symbols and numerical combos than reasoning and general knowledge. Sighs. Whatever it is, I think I will enjoy more during my major year + clinical training year. I THINK I will.

**********

You, I'm totally no way near interested to know how good you lead your life currently or how bad you think your life is. I'm not bound to know them FFS. I have my own life and that's it. It doesn't phase me how you gonna spend your time anyways. Or I shall put it this way, I'll MMOB and you shall MYOB. Come on, I bet you won't want me to be honest, will you?

Adios.

I st-st-stuttered.....

I seriously can't get this shit outta my head, it keeps chanting at me over and over again like super mantra gnawing at all the things I've studied for Sociology albeit not much has been covered so far! Omg it's worse than the bubbly ella ella eh eh eh ehhhhh...

seeSeeSEE!

It's coming again...gosh stop me!

The last time I freaked out
I just kept looking down
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about
Felt like I couldn't breathe
You asked what's wrong with me
My best friend Lesley said "Oh she's just being Miley"
The next time we hang out
I will redeem myself
My heart it can rest 'till then
Wow wow I
I can't wait to see you again

-_-

It's addictive (addictive =/= me likey!) and I don't even watch Hannah Montana.

Alrite, back to mugging, 6 more chapters (that's like 300 more pages) to go!

I gotta st-st-study ftw :D

You've Got No life?

To those who stumbled upon this forlorn blog by googling their names from search engines. I have a message for you,
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WHATYOUSAINTEDMUSHROOMHEADSGOTNOLIFEISITWHOTHEHELLDOYOUTHINKYOUAREWHYAREYOUSONARCISSISTICTOTHINKYOUCANREAPSOMEUNDESERVEDFAMEISITWHATMAKESYOUTHINKYOUAREFAMOUSTHATPEOPLESHOULDGOBYALLMEANSMENTIONYOURHOLYDIVINITYNAMEONTHEIRPAGENOWGETYOURSELFAPIECEOFMINEYETSOYOUCANJOLLYWELLFUCKOFFANDSTOPSTALKINGONOTHERSBLOGLIKEYOUNEVERBEENDISCOVEREDDICKHEADSYOUARESODUMBTHATYOUDONTEVENKNOWYOUAREUNDERSURVEILLANCEIHAVEMYULTIMATETOOLTHATTHERESNOWAYIWILLTELLYOUWHATISITYOUSHOULDKNOWIFYOUARESMARTBUTIFYOUDONTUNFORTUNATELYYOUAREOPPOSITEOFITDUMBASSBACKOFFANDSTFUALTF4KTHXBYE!

Horrorcles ~Black Friday~

Know what?

Massive man today!

I slept at 5am after having online discussion with J.Goh (our lawyer).

Thought of waking up at 7 for college.

My alarm (the innocent one with cute melody!) didn't work on me.

I realised only when the sun was up.

Gosh, it was already 8 and my history trial was at 9. Beyond that I might gonna face ceremonious condemnations by groupmates/Borges and a rather usual door lock, Borges is very particular about that especially.

So I rushed my donkey life outta hell, put on my formals and ran like mad to the condo gate to flag down taxi.

Good, I must had been invisible, cos none of the cabbies showed signal to stop! Fuck double fucks triple fucks infinite fucks! It's early in the morning and not even rush hour cos the jam had already cleared.

After several failure attempts with the addition of sending SOS to MK for lift but too bad it's already 8.45 (hello!) MK was in college already, on the verge of giving up, there it was, a quasi-philanthropic cabbie honked me perhaps noticing the dismay written conspicuously on face.

In normal situation, I would just turn down the "goodwill" because there's no free lunch in this world, there's price to pay for everything. Upon expecting some shady deal, there, expected outcome, exorbitant fare tendered targeted at my desperation. Burned 8 more bucks than usual. That's like 120% extra. Dealed since I got no strength for further arguements or negotiations all thanks to my carb. free diet on a day 3. I demanded him to speed since there was no jam at all. I reached SS15 from my place in 8 minutes (reached at 8.58) time! That's exactly 2 minutes away from trial time haha...got off happily and went straight to lecture hallprinting shop to print my Q&A sheets. Bah! I don't know what's wrong with my pendrive and computer cos they just decided to arse around with me. My answers were all gone and nowhere on earth to retrieve! Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! How am I supposed to testify on the stage later since I can't do it spontaneously due to the lack of rehearsal! Sometimes I just wonder how bad can my luck goes. Luckily (duh!), J.Goh still kept his unmodified copy of my Q&A, I begged Borges for some extra time to print and rushed back to the hall to edit freehandedly, mental recollection la! I was supposed to be the first who go up but I managed to switch with "Casino owner which I'm having affair with". Luckily (2 x duhs!), I managed to answer accordingly at least without much stutterings and pauses in between despite having to crap a little to the jury out of instant fit (not easy ok!). I hate spontaneity! That's why I kinda screwed up my Impromptu speech during last semester. Oh well, Borges didn't comment much but he grinned a lot perhaps was in good mood, so we were all happy. Jun Yi (opponent counsel) was picking on language aspects instead of my testimonies, I got so annoyed to the point that I had to argue for the betterment of self preservation! He was getting on my nerves, I just fired back furiously cos I was kinda green already haha, and I still don't know why the whole fucking class was so overwhelmed that time. Too aggressive already I guess but it felt so good la after my turn was up. Huge relief! And I got an exclusive apology from Jun Yi later haha but it's only a role-playing mock trial so I told him he owes me nothing, I'm cool, since we both received the fair share of verbal mockery.

All's well that ends well, our counsel or rather our group claimed victory with a shocking 2/3 majority votes from the jury panel. It was so fun and happy to know that verdict, American Government DOES NOT in any ways owe an apology to the American Indians (in the mock trial). They did apologize in real life, haha, whatever! I'm so gonna miss Borges' lesson after all the thicks and thins. Trial was sooo fun. Hopefully, I'll still have the spirit burning by the semester to take US History II, since it's from 1877 to present so I guess (or so I heard) much more easier and relevant. Who knows but definitely I'm up for another trial, trial is part of the courseworks in HIS 251/252 during long semester under Prof. Borges which carries 15% I think. I'm gonna miss Miss Jane too haha...time really flies by like an arrow in the twink of a wink in the blink of an eye and fruit flies like an old banana haha. Today is the last day of lecture classes in semester 3. Next up will be the deadly finals!

Psy - can read.
Soc - can read.
His - can read but will die.
Chm - can't read, so die.

:(

Today, it's as if I just gone for a trip to hell and came back to reality. It feels so nice to be embraced by oxygen, smell of gases, peoples, sounds...etc once again cos the sense of being stimulated by gravity force is very authentic now :D

I'm reliving. I won't die so easily yet.

Horrorcles

Fuhhh...

Miss M rocks my socks man!
Apparently she can't finish teaching like 7 freaking chapters before the final next week.
So we got first hand tips!
She's the best of the best I tell you, supposingly final covers chapter 11-18 but she only managed to touch on a few pints of chapter 12 so far during the last class of the semester and then downplayed all the other chapters on hand, slapped us with excuses that hinting the unimportance of some untaught chapters.
Freaking stim right?
Where to find such lecturer around???
Right here, exclusively brought to you with all hearts, vow to give the best education of all, one and only, ICSJ!
And I see no reasons why you still not tempted to enrol to ICSJ after viewing this post.
And we're supposed to keep our lips sealed, oops.

Then to my horror, I practically had no idea that Sociology exam falls on NEXT Monday!
I thought it should be sometime around next Tuesday cos according to past history, our final papers are usually spread within wide interval of time between each other.
And my luck has got the better of me again!
Not only having 2 papers clashing at the same time, after final appeal, exam office pandai pak pandir decided to allot 2 slots for that particular 2 papers still on the same day but different time.
Good, lepas mulut buaya, now masuk mulut harimau pulak!
How can Chemistry II and US History I co-exist on the same day?
Stupid.
I shall end all these miseries by burning down my story-based textbook, mix water and drink.
Hopefully, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Christopher Columbus, King George III-IX...just anyone of them can bless me and possess me in the exam hall. *roll eyes*
Fuck those 16 chapters of whatnots.

Without questions beyond doubts, me gonna lead a drop dead awesome life on the days ahead.

Breakfast, lunch, high tea, dinner, supper = mugging ftw!

Hopefully the efforts given are all recipocral!

Monday thoughts

I used to be afraid of ghosts. Of those things that lurk behind corners and in the dark.


I don't know when I've stopped.


Stopped being afraid of going into the dark. Stopped switching on the lights when I go into a room.


I think it was when I realize I have more reason to be afraid of human. Of the evil that lies in the heart of man. Humans are even scarier.


p/s : Thank Ms. Jane for bestowing a chance of resiting the quiz that I missed last Friday!

:)

Just hung up a call that lasted 4 hours all the way from Arizona.

Damn I'm dehydrated.

Love ya' Cheryll *muacks* can't wait to see you in no time!

Weekend thoughts 2

And Benjanmin says " life is like a game of cards, the hands that dealt you is determinism, the way you play it is free will".

Future will always be there, it's just unevenly distributed. The world is fair and we do enjoy certain degree of free will in hands. When we talk about free will, why should we whine and cry the hell over issues of life? Aren't we all chosen what to do in the first place? Therefore, we should also have the guts to be responsible over the outcome be them good or bad.

Not like someone is pointing a gun over your little brain threatening for point blank forcing you into committing whatever it is. Everything happens for a reason. When the next time you try to seek comfort from someone else over your problems, sit back and think whether you are deserved for that problem itself or not prior to any further.

Forget about the crap of seeking religious shelter also cos according to Karl Max when you have religion, you are emotional imbalanced. If there's no god but your own god, then why we need so many religions for? If your religion is the greatest the almighty the superior then why are you still judgemental? If all that I'm saying are blasphemous and I should go to hell, then you should be more eligible to leave for hell cos you are no god and technically you can't sentence verdict over me. If you simply want me to rattle this on...they are endless.

Digressed. Anyways, there's no problem with other people before you look into yourself to see the core. It's always lies in there, somewhere inside here, H-E-A-R-T. You understand what I mean.

Thus, I deserve my own demise as well.

**********

History court trial on next week, what should a historian wear? I'm the historian of my council and I've seen other group wearing fancy costumes like french maid gown, slaves dresses, fedora, wigs and came all dressed in full suits! Very kua zhiong lor, at first I thought it was just a normal run of the mine mocked trial, then these people very pandai they went and took hassles to rent fancy gowns, so kiasu! Now the pressure has been put upon our trial next week, the final week of this semester! What should I wear?! How am I gonna withstand another 3 hours of constant stoning without the freedom to drink, to laugh, to move around during the trial process? And lastly, WHERE AM I SUPPOSE TO FIND TIME TO STUDY WHEN EVERYTHING CHUNK IN ON THE FINAL WEEK? Very mind boggling indeed. Haih, this weekend marks another week has gone by dalam sekelip mata, maka, selangkah dekat dengan finals!

@.@

**********

Then today I was so pandai pak pandir! I thought of submitting my journal before the extra class starts which I did not mean to go at all that obviously was a wrong move! I went to SOLLA and rang the bell, one lecturer came answer and I ask for the availability of Miss M. cos I thought she sure wouldn't be there and I could just put my journal in her pigeon hole. Then to my horror, she was there and readily available! I was like shit, this is no turning back, how am I supposed to explain when she ask me why don't I hand in the journal in class later. My expectation came true, she did ask why! And as a person who sucks in telling lie of cos my statements were rather illogic and handicapped, she knew that I was lying but oh well I can't be bothered right now...I just hope she won't be mm song at me and fail me again in final cos she kept asking me "your date is more important than your study eh...?" with that kinda doubtful expression...I swear it was fucking awkward for me! I wish I can just hide in the pigeon hole for good or minimize myself into something that to the size of dust particle! Diu...sigh I should account for my mishaps! A totally wrongful move! Bad impression means bad grade! She won't even give my any kesian marks now...and I have to hit the gym freaking early and leave before 5pm now lest will bump into her and meet a series of awkwardness lor! Cos she usually will be there at the same gym as me after touch down from work like around 5 something to 6! I'm gonna switch soon...cibai! See how far my luck goes.

Weekend thoughts

I really love what the 14th Dalai Lama says like,

" destruction of your enemy is destruction of yourself"

" there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so"

"i want freedom in this world, not from this world"

"Tibet can exist internally in spirit and imagination even if it is barely visible on the map,communities can be linked not by common soil so much as by common ground, a common foundation"

Taken from an article of Time magazine March 31st edition.

**********

The Nobel prize for Peace he won is definitely well deserved. If every political and religious leaders think in this way, the word "war" would not even exist in the first place. Can you imagine he's being sent into exile out of his motherland due to political pressure but yet he still stresses peace and making his way to reconcile with those who see him as a threat (Chi *coughs*na*coughs*). I mean what's wrong with peace talk? I definitely despise those who seize the chance to boycott Olympic in Beijing, I think those people are just plain losers who cannot see the good of rising China but I think China has been burying their head in the ground all these while on Tibetan issue. Granted, Tibet is currently an autonomy territory but China could control their defense and foreign affair so long as Tibetans have sovereignty over everything else. In reality, China has injected vast developments to Tibet economy such as bringing excessive material possessions which against spiritual interests into the virgin land of Tibet. Just picture the scene of Potala Palace being mockingly surrounded by bars, clubs, brothels and so forth. So the ironic part also lies in the mammoth project of Beijing-Lhasa railway, although it open up a whole new chapter to tourism in China, people like me will be more than happy because I've been wanting to step on the land since forever and the railway has pulled my "dream" nearer to reality but then again it could mean another whole new different thing to the purity of Tibet since it can be flooded by commercial developments, environmental pollutions and pushing them one step closer to the China capitalism realm.

Another thing I admire about the 14th Dalai Lama is the non-fundamental thinking of him in terms of buddhism teachings. He's no where rigid like some of our poseurish spiritual leaders here in Malaysia where guys and girls should draw a clear line, all guys and girls should turn into homosexual (alright, ignore the latter haha) but somehow he rejects any teachings that has been disproved by scientific inquiry. How noble, big hearted and liberal in thinking! He wants freedom from ignorance and suffering it brings but what China wants are freedom from the past and backwardness. See the difference between a political leader and spiritual leader here?

Personally I think genuine harmony must come from the heart and not from the barrel of a gun. This is what the capitalist world will not ever get it. And those phony westerners all they treat Tibet as the last spiritual and virgin land on earth, here, they protest against the material development of Tibet and saying China violates humanity but at their end, they are doing exactly the same thing to the world. Releasing CO2, propagandize, freemasonry, creating social conflicts, many rules by few...lotsa lotsa political gimmicks FFS, globalization is another thing, the rich will be richer and the poor will be poorer, cultures will be eroded and go into limbo forever, capitalism will rule the world, realistic, pragmatism...and if they would happily call those as upholding humanity acts. Whatever they say, all about human rights and they do not even understand a shit about the quality of being humane themselves. Have you ever heard of China waging war against any countries in this world? In past history, there were only civil wars within China but not a single one was made against others. Steven Spielberg is also another piece of shit, who does he thinks he is? His films are all crappy and I do not even wanna mention how sickening of me to suffer through "War of The World". If he is so concern about the well being of Darfur, he should have withdrawn all his properties and donates them to whatever foundation catering to Darfur. They just can't see the good of rising China, China is not a threat, is an opportunity and transition of global economy power.

China should really probe this issue openly with Tibet and of course talk to Tibetan leader in peaceful manner without involving any form of violence. And westerners just stop demeaning the innocents. MYOB.

I'm thinking of taking Philosophy next semester. Hope it can focus more on modern philosophy. Kthxbye.

Growth cycle

Stage 1 : Flat. Happy go lucky. Sense of being.
Stage 2 : Curiosity.
Stage 3 : Appearance. Social ties.
Stage 4 : Chesty and overbearing pride.
Stage 5 : Compromising. Acceptance as a way of life.
Stage 6 : Anticipation.
Stage 7 : Reality and truth.
Stage 8 : Great awakening.
Stage 9 : As it is. Let it be.
Stage 10 : Disappointment.
Stage 11 : Greater awakening.
Stage 12 : Depression
Stage 13 : See red.
Stage 14 : Realization.
Stage 15 : End.
Stage 16 : New chapter.

Different perspectives marked at different stages. A progressive development that illustrates how ripening takes place. Nonetheless, it spans around 2 years on me.

*****

I absolutely can't believe that I flunked PSY 105 midterm, how on earth can this be happening? It's only an elective art subject and Miss M (da rookie lecturer) gotta answer for this. I've/We've never seen a lecturer of non-core subject failed his student in such a graceful manner. Good, and I'm having a presentation on that effing subject this week. So gonna boycott her...but too bad the presentation is part of courseworks!

And friends, what's wrong with my Sociology marks? If you think I don't deserve it, come confront me directly and don't gossip behind like wusses.

Alright, I die die also must pull my PSY and CHM grade up again this time. Especially PSY...I still don't believe that I got 2 "eggs" for 2 essays respectively given in the name of HER SAINTED MOTHER's prehistorical senses. Hello there, I studied. I got the relevant points or at least touched the tip of answers by my layman's explanation is better than NONE but why I got NONE, yea NONE, for 2 page-full of essays. Holy mackerel! If she thinks this is funny then she can jolly well kiss the floor and eat sands. Hope she loses her job by next semester as OUR wish since she is still under probation. I'm seriously gonna sound the AUP office if they ever bestow me a lecturer as such in future by all means.

3 more weeks to final...like wow how fast.

Jia You!

Today, upon my divine checking on the newly drafted final exam timetable, CHM 152 and HIS 251 still clashing and the worse of it is both papers got postponed to 2 days later of the previous drafted date instead of being seperated. Meaning I will be deprived for 2 more extra holidays!

I tell you ICSJ is really good for nothing, the exam office might as well tear down altogether when they are gonna demolish the old block and all the person in charge should just get sacked for good. My lord, now they are asking me to prepare for quarantine on that day instead of revising the timetable -_____- . With all their respects, are they like mad or brain damaged? Hello, History and Chemistry on the same day, I'm not gonna get further quarantined for running amok lor...cos most probably I'll be appeared like living dead.

Heck I'm so lost already, courseworks are fucking up my patience.

p/s : I can't stand myself anymore for writing all these run of the mill anecdotes. I shall revamp my writing habit and polish up my language. I don't mind my language without improvement but I realized that apart from not improving it is facing a downward mobility! I'm no longer like those day where every of my homeworks and tutorials consist only long winded writing and more writings(General Paper, IELTS, Econs and Law). On top of that, people around me hardly speak languages other than English itself, let alone having English speaking campaign or English day that sort of undernourished event. It felt so normal and comfortable those days but it changed drastically ever since I came here. I've heard assorted Chinese dialects being spoken and if you don't speak at least Mandarin or Cantonese, the likelihood of being segregated is on the high end of the scale. We are no longer in a natural state to converse in English. I only hear pseudo-American slang dotting around in campus and class. How pathetic. Why can't they be themselves and must they swim into dominant culture in a land that doesn't dominate by that culture itself? What a shame.

Birthday

The ex-A-level people that turned up during Dashni's house party (above pic without Emily).

Anyways, Happy Sweet 21st to Dashni!

And that house is equals to half ICSJ's old campus size equipped with private pool and private tennis court...what more to ask?! Golf course or private park?

p/s : I'm so proud of the guy who owned himself 21 A's in SPM, what's next 30 A's? 50 A's? Credits are all due to BN for never fails to bring homemade education achievement to higher level every year. It is no wonder why we are venturing (travelling or whatsoever) the space in no time cos to us nothing is TAK BOLEH! :D *loud applauds* But why you people didn't vote for them?

CoCo ramblings

Colbie Caillat Live in Malaysia at Laundry Bar. It was good. Unplugged was nice, and the band, unlike conventional dingdingdongdonggimmegimmeellaella pop. Turn off was the unexpected downpour, Adam C and Natalie. They irritated me. Hell those sikinnahs got nothing better to do after school. Bitch who refused to help, curse her bf for contracting STD 10 years while still making out with her. Photographers, if you fucking wanna show off your top notch DSLR and fucking block my view please ass off and kiss the ground. I'm there to listen to her performance, and you just wanna capture what is worth instead of the singing, please fuck off. This is a musical performance, not photography event. I just wasn't born with enough middle fingers to deal with it. Nonetheless, CoCo rocks but some of her songs can be very similar in tunes and sleep inducing. Still worth listening and those lyrics can't be more meaningful.

I swear I won't be going to gig as such anymore without necessary needs. Hell packed like highly compressed sardine and we were being treated like bunch of restless and mischievous monkeys only. HELL YA WE PAID OK? And fucking waited for 1 freaking hour or more off the clock when we were not supposed to waste the time (masa itu emas!). My brain was figuratively boiling whilst waiting for those shit RSVP. Punctuality, learn that up! Especially when people were in drench, mood were dampened, and yet you still put your interest in supreme position as if the 1000+ of us were just phantoms for temporary needs? Fuck your PA system they don't mean a shit. What comes to your mind when 1000+ of us from everywhere set afoot on this place for? You demand, we supply. Now let me tell you, throw your PA system into cesspit. You don't even need them without acknowledging our existence.

p/s : For some reasons, Sg. Wang is full of lalas and you think that is the worst? Not until you saw the scene over shopping malls in PJ. Cultures are diversified and subdivided into many subcultures which having too much hypocrisy and grass-are-greener-on-the-other-side effects. Malaysians are turning into identity crisis era although much of us still upholding democracy prima facie. We know what we want but we don't know how far should we go.

19th RS encountered miscarriage cos MCA did not achieve landslide victory this time instead sent packing off their long occupied office! It has already been replaced with visitation and camp but yet to be officially announced la...how unlucky again.

Sekian.

Phantom

I dreamt of you an hour ago in my sleep.

You were pinching my cheeks and I pinched yours.

Sweet :)

Just a dream.

Counting mishaps

As being told earlier, March is really a black month.

1. Screwed quizzes, tests and missed class unintentionally. (cliche i know)
2. My membership for certain fashion retail with initial G wasn't being recognised as I wanted to
buy few garments today!
3. Got drunk for nothing and embarrassed myself.
4. Lost some money to a certain someone whom I didn't wish to spend those money on
otherwise.
5. One of my zijiren friends got into a serious accident and warded.
6. One of my high school friends who share the same given name with me got into a fatal accident. Apparently he's a wedding photographer and was lifting 1 wed couple when his car crashed and the couple died and he survived. Suffering from guiltiness and primary nervous breakdown currently.
7. Just realised one of my sometime-close-sometime-distanced friends had secret grudge towards me and backstabbed me in front of my closest friends. But my friends are truthful enough to tell me her act of undermining from within so we all sooo gonna anti her now. Yea very old school indeed but who cares a shit. A loosely mouthed person aka mulut murai. Bah!
8. Uncle passed away. :(

Luckily I won some measly $ upon my first visiting to Genting Casino. I love roulette! I dah legal tender now.

However still, everything turned out to be disastrous in the end. Fuck.

Requiem of 20

Dear blog,

I have some contemplation before my adulthood. In the mean time, I have to put matter of my Uncle's death and tests aside to sit in front of my laptop, stare into nothingness, come out with these writings. I feel compelled eventhough I've tried so hard to prevent any kinda depressing materials published but hands outroared mind very often. Anyways, what do you people usually request to receive on your birthday? Perhaps you say, something to inscribe THE day in your mind forever.Still what? I don't even know what I want when asked by parents for this coming 21st's. Well then, I could have just asked for anything but I didn't because whatever that I want on the surface might not reflect the beneath's. So what if I got more moolahs, more gadgets, more foods...it's just something you already having but greed for MORE beyond the threshold and it goes on forever without being contented. Then I told my parents, I want happiness after I couldn't think of any (of cos they thought I was having them on). On top of that, I think I'll want a chance to see into future or a reminder of an imperfect past or the ability to turn back time or the ability to prevent someone from misfortune...I know it's worse than building castle in the air but let's just say I don't want to be shallow and opting for the unconventionals.

Many birthdays I may have counted off, each and every year it comes around quietly. Do these birthdays make me happy? I would have to say "not really". Just turning from 20 to 21, who is going to view that as a great accomplishment? Can you imagine how many people born on the same year leaping across this age at the same time? Of cos, if a doctor tells me "you will not live beyond the age of 21" and later I greet the dawn of my 24th, that is something worth celebrating. Indeed, a great accomplishment. For better or worse, I have never been handed with this kinda situation so my birthdays never makes me unusually happy. We party then we dismiss. That's for all. Hoping next birthday will be merrier. Conventional.

Now did I just give a big slap on someone else's face or do I sound bitter? Not at all. I have been revolving around few tests and assignment due date this week. So expectedly, yea...but belated ones are no harm rather than none I supposed (i am hypocrite at times). It's just any other day with or without cakes and candles. If you like, celebrate everyday like birthday, buy a cake for yourself whenever you feel like. If you feel the need for a commemoration, go get yourself a tattoo then. Seek for parental advice beforehand, if it's too late, tell yourself "it's easier to be forgiven than to ask for permission"(Ramya's cliche lol).

A reminder to all, please cherish your love ones around you when they are still sound and alive. Do your part before it's too late.

Till then.

XoXo,
Tristan

Not a good day

1. Downpoured like mad. Rosh left without me! Thanks Sheryl for being the saviour of the day :)
2. Phone died on me summore. Paid effing RM 150 to repair on the spot, feel like kena conned. Damn Nokia(Authorised service centre tim!) fucking crook.
3. Chem II quizzes gagal keliling pinggang.
4. Chem II test 2 coming.
5. History I midterm test tomorrow. Only one chapter covered.
6. Our beloved Uncle Steven passed away out of a sudden(heart attack) this morning in Guangzhou before he started off his another quest of voluntary lecturing. Unbelieveable as he seemed sound and strong to us during CNY and could fled around Malaysia and Singapore actively during that period of him in South East Asia. I was practically floating and puzzled when mum told me about that. It's the biggest joke ever made for us to accept. It's like the minute before he was still cheering up the atmosphere back home, then the minute later he's already lying there without temperature. How cruel. I'm damn sad now. Totally out of mood. Anyways, sis going to Guangzhou tomorrow together with Aunt and Cousins for his funeral. His ashes will be resting in Singapore instead of the States for eternal peace.

Please rest in peace dear Uncle Steven.
Deepest condolence to Aunt, Terence and Kit Lun.

Another deep sigh to life...

I feel homesicked now.

I am easy and greasy

Do you know what's the best way to fry your brain up in less than 5 minutes?

Read US History to 1877. (Specifically Mark Carnes' and John Garraty's)

You are worse than a hypocrites if you were to tell me George Washington, John Adam, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison...are "interesting". I swear those security guards at the post can talk better. This is so classic.

Oh well, gonna binge so hard later.

Study is shit.

And you...

STFU alt F4 kthxbai.