Weekend thoughts

I really love what the 14th Dalai Lama says like,

" destruction of your enemy is destruction of yourself"

" there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so"

"i want freedom in this world, not from this world"

"Tibet can exist internally in spirit and imagination even if it is barely visible on the map,communities can be linked not by common soil so much as by common ground, a common foundation"

Taken from an article of Time magazine March 31st edition.

**********

The Nobel prize for Peace he won is definitely well deserved. If every political and religious leaders think in this way, the word "war" would not even exist in the first place. Can you imagine he's being sent into exile out of his motherland due to political pressure but yet he still stresses peace and making his way to reconcile with those who see him as a threat (Chi *coughs*na*coughs*). I mean what's wrong with peace talk? I definitely despise those who seize the chance to boycott Olympic in Beijing, I think those people are just plain losers who cannot see the good of rising China but I think China has been burying their head in the ground all these while on Tibetan issue. Granted, Tibet is currently an autonomy territory but China could control their defense and foreign affair so long as Tibetans have sovereignty over everything else. In reality, China has injected vast developments to Tibet economy such as bringing excessive material possessions which against spiritual interests into the virgin land of Tibet. Just picture the scene of Potala Palace being mockingly surrounded by bars, clubs, brothels and so forth. So the ironic part also lies in the mammoth project of Beijing-Lhasa railway, although it open up a whole new chapter to tourism in China, people like me will be more than happy because I've been wanting to step on the land since forever and the railway has pulled my "dream" nearer to reality but then again it could mean another whole new different thing to the purity of Tibet since it can be flooded by commercial developments, environmental pollutions and pushing them one step closer to the China capitalism realm.

Another thing I admire about the 14th Dalai Lama is the non-fundamental thinking of him in terms of buddhism teachings. He's no where rigid like some of our poseurish spiritual leaders here in Malaysia where guys and girls should draw a clear line, all guys and girls should turn into homosexual (alright, ignore the latter haha) but somehow he rejects any teachings that has been disproved by scientific inquiry. How noble, big hearted and liberal in thinking! He wants freedom from ignorance and suffering it brings but what China wants are freedom from the past and backwardness. See the difference between a political leader and spiritual leader here?

Personally I think genuine harmony must come from the heart and not from the barrel of a gun. This is what the capitalist world will not ever get it. And those phony westerners all they treat Tibet as the last spiritual and virgin land on earth, here, they protest against the material development of Tibet and saying China violates humanity but at their end, they are doing exactly the same thing to the world. Releasing CO2, propagandize, freemasonry, creating social conflicts, many rules by few...lotsa lotsa political gimmicks FFS, globalization is another thing, the rich will be richer and the poor will be poorer, cultures will be eroded and go into limbo forever, capitalism will rule the world, realistic, pragmatism...and if they would happily call those as upholding humanity acts. Whatever they say, all about human rights and they do not even understand a shit about the quality of being humane themselves. Have you ever heard of China waging war against any countries in this world? In past history, there were only civil wars within China but not a single one was made against others. Steven Spielberg is also another piece of shit, who does he thinks he is? His films are all crappy and I do not even wanna mention how sickening of me to suffer through "War of The World". If he is so concern about the well being of Darfur, he should have withdrawn all his properties and donates them to whatever foundation catering to Darfur. They just can't see the good of rising China, China is not a threat, is an opportunity and transition of global economy power.

China should really probe this issue openly with Tibet and of course talk to Tibetan leader in peaceful manner without involving any form of violence. And westerners just stop demeaning the innocents. MYOB.

I'm thinking of taking Philosophy next semester. Hope it can focus more on modern philosophy. Kthxbye.

Growth cycle

Stage 1 : Flat. Happy go lucky. Sense of being.
Stage 2 : Curiosity.
Stage 3 : Appearance. Social ties.
Stage 4 : Chesty and overbearing pride.
Stage 5 : Compromising. Acceptance as a way of life.
Stage 6 : Anticipation.
Stage 7 : Reality and truth.
Stage 8 : Great awakening.
Stage 9 : As it is. Let it be.
Stage 10 : Disappointment.
Stage 11 : Greater awakening.
Stage 12 : Depression
Stage 13 : See red.
Stage 14 : Realization.
Stage 15 : End.
Stage 16 : New chapter.

Different perspectives marked at different stages. A progressive development that illustrates how ripening takes place. Nonetheless, it spans around 2 years on me.

*****

I absolutely can't believe that I flunked PSY 105 midterm, how on earth can this be happening? It's only an elective art subject and Miss M (da rookie lecturer) gotta answer for this. I've/We've never seen a lecturer of non-core subject failed his student in such a graceful manner. Good, and I'm having a presentation on that effing subject this week. So gonna boycott her...but too bad the presentation is part of courseworks!

And friends, what's wrong with my Sociology marks? If you think I don't deserve it, come confront me directly and don't gossip behind like wusses.

Alright, I die die also must pull my PSY and CHM grade up again this time. Especially PSY...I still don't believe that I got 2 "eggs" for 2 essays respectively given in the name of HER SAINTED MOTHER's prehistorical senses. Hello there, I studied. I got the relevant points or at least touched the tip of answers by my layman's explanation is better than NONE but why I got NONE, yea NONE, for 2 page-full of essays. Holy mackerel! If she thinks this is funny then she can jolly well kiss the floor and eat sands. Hope she loses her job by next semester as OUR wish since she is still under probation. I'm seriously gonna sound the AUP office if they ever bestow me a lecturer as such in future by all means.

3 more weeks to final...like wow how fast.

Jia You!

Today, upon my divine checking on the newly drafted final exam timetable, CHM 152 and HIS 251 still clashing and the worse of it is both papers got postponed to 2 days later of the previous drafted date instead of being seperated. Meaning I will be deprived for 2 more extra holidays!

I tell you ICSJ is really good for nothing, the exam office might as well tear down altogether when they are gonna demolish the old block and all the person in charge should just get sacked for good. My lord, now they are asking me to prepare for quarantine on that day instead of revising the timetable -_____- . With all their respects, are they like mad or brain damaged? Hello, History and Chemistry on the same day, I'm not gonna get further quarantined for running amok lor...cos most probably I'll be appeared like living dead.

Heck I'm so lost already, courseworks are fucking up my patience.

p/s : I can't stand myself anymore for writing all these run of the mill anecdotes. I shall revamp my writing habit and polish up my language. I don't mind my language without improvement but I realized that apart from not improving it is facing a downward mobility! I'm no longer like those day where every of my homeworks and tutorials consist only long winded writing and more writings(General Paper, IELTS, Econs and Law). On top of that, people around me hardly speak languages other than English itself, let alone having English speaking campaign or English day that sort of undernourished event. It felt so normal and comfortable those days but it changed drastically ever since I came here. I've heard assorted Chinese dialects being spoken and if you don't speak at least Mandarin or Cantonese, the likelihood of being segregated is on the high end of the scale. We are no longer in a natural state to converse in English. I only hear pseudo-American slang dotting around in campus and class. How pathetic. Why can't they be themselves and must they swim into dominant culture in a land that doesn't dominate by that culture itself? What a shame.

Birthday

The ex-A-level people that turned up during Dashni's house party (above pic without Emily).

Anyways, Happy Sweet 21st to Dashni!

And that house is equals to half ICSJ's old campus size equipped with private pool and private tennis court...what more to ask?! Golf course or private park?

p/s : I'm so proud of the guy who owned himself 21 A's in SPM, what's next 30 A's? 50 A's? Credits are all due to BN for never fails to bring homemade education achievement to higher level every year. It is no wonder why we are venturing (travelling or whatsoever) the space in no time cos to us nothing is TAK BOLEH! :D *loud applauds* But why you people didn't vote for them?

CoCo ramblings

Colbie Caillat Live in Malaysia at Laundry Bar. It was good. Unplugged was nice, and the band, unlike conventional dingdingdongdonggimmegimmeellaella pop. Turn off was the unexpected downpour, Adam C and Natalie. They irritated me. Hell those sikinnahs got nothing better to do after school. Bitch who refused to help, curse her bf for contracting STD 10 years while still making out with her. Photographers, if you fucking wanna show off your top notch DSLR and fucking block my view please ass off and kiss the ground. I'm there to listen to her performance, and you just wanna capture what is worth instead of the singing, please fuck off. This is a musical performance, not photography event. I just wasn't born with enough middle fingers to deal with it. Nonetheless, CoCo rocks but some of her songs can be very similar in tunes and sleep inducing. Still worth listening and those lyrics can't be more meaningful.

I swear I won't be going to gig as such anymore without necessary needs. Hell packed like highly compressed sardine and we were being treated like bunch of restless and mischievous monkeys only. HELL YA WE PAID OK? And fucking waited for 1 freaking hour or more off the clock when we were not supposed to waste the time (masa itu emas!). My brain was figuratively boiling whilst waiting for those shit RSVP. Punctuality, learn that up! Especially when people were in drench, mood were dampened, and yet you still put your interest in supreme position as if the 1000+ of us were just phantoms for temporary needs? Fuck your PA system they don't mean a shit. What comes to your mind when 1000+ of us from everywhere set afoot on this place for? You demand, we supply. Now let me tell you, throw your PA system into cesspit. You don't even need them without acknowledging our existence.

p/s : For some reasons, Sg. Wang is full of lalas and you think that is the worst? Not until you saw the scene over shopping malls in PJ. Cultures are diversified and subdivided into many subcultures which having too much hypocrisy and grass-are-greener-on-the-other-side effects. Malaysians are turning into identity crisis era although much of us still upholding democracy prima facie. We know what we want but we don't know how far should we go.

19th RS encountered miscarriage cos MCA did not achieve landslide victory this time instead sent packing off their long occupied office! It has already been replaced with visitation and camp but yet to be officially announced la...how unlucky again.

Sekian.

Phantom

I dreamt of you an hour ago in my sleep.

You were pinching my cheeks and I pinched yours.

Sweet :)

Just a dream.

Counting mishaps

As being told earlier, March is really a black month.

1. Screwed quizzes, tests and missed class unintentionally. (cliche i know)
2. My membership for certain fashion retail with initial G wasn't being recognised as I wanted to
buy few garments today!
3. Got drunk for nothing and embarrassed myself.
4. Lost some money to a certain someone whom I didn't wish to spend those money on
otherwise.
5. One of my zijiren friends got into a serious accident and warded.
6. One of my high school friends who share the same given name with me got into a fatal accident. Apparently he's a wedding photographer and was lifting 1 wed couple when his car crashed and the couple died and he survived. Suffering from guiltiness and primary nervous breakdown currently.
7. Just realised one of my sometime-close-sometime-distanced friends had secret grudge towards me and backstabbed me in front of my closest friends. But my friends are truthful enough to tell me her act of undermining from within so we all sooo gonna anti her now. Yea very old school indeed but who cares a shit. A loosely mouthed person aka mulut murai. Bah!
8. Uncle passed away. :(

Luckily I won some measly $ upon my first visiting to Genting Casino. I love roulette! I dah legal tender now.

However still, everything turned out to be disastrous in the end. Fuck.

Requiem of 20

Dear blog,

I have some contemplation before my adulthood. In the mean time, I have to put matter of my Uncle's death and tests aside to sit in front of my laptop, stare into nothingness, come out with these writings. I feel compelled eventhough I've tried so hard to prevent any kinda depressing materials published but hands outroared mind very often. Anyways, what do you people usually request to receive on your birthday? Perhaps you say, something to inscribe THE day in your mind forever.Still what? I don't even know what I want when asked by parents for this coming 21st's. Well then, I could have just asked for anything but I didn't because whatever that I want on the surface might not reflect the beneath's. So what if I got more moolahs, more gadgets, more foods...it's just something you already having but greed for MORE beyond the threshold and it goes on forever without being contented. Then I told my parents, I want happiness after I couldn't think of any (of cos they thought I was having them on). On top of that, I think I'll want a chance to see into future or a reminder of an imperfect past or the ability to turn back time or the ability to prevent someone from misfortune...I know it's worse than building castle in the air but let's just say I don't want to be shallow and opting for the unconventionals.

Many birthdays I may have counted off, each and every year it comes around quietly. Do these birthdays make me happy? I would have to say "not really". Just turning from 20 to 21, who is going to view that as a great accomplishment? Can you imagine how many people born on the same year leaping across this age at the same time? Of cos, if a doctor tells me "you will not live beyond the age of 21" and later I greet the dawn of my 24th, that is something worth celebrating. Indeed, a great accomplishment. For better or worse, I have never been handed with this kinda situation so my birthdays never makes me unusually happy. We party then we dismiss. That's for all. Hoping next birthday will be merrier. Conventional.

Now did I just give a big slap on someone else's face or do I sound bitter? Not at all. I have been revolving around few tests and assignment due date this week. So expectedly, yea...but belated ones are no harm rather than none I supposed (i am hypocrite at times). It's just any other day with or without cakes and candles. If you like, celebrate everyday like birthday, buy a cake for yourself whenever you feel like. If you feel the need for a commemoration, go get yourself a tattoo then. Seek for parental advice beforehand, if it's too late, tell yourself "it's easier to be forgiven than to ask for permission"(Ramya's cliche lol).

A reminder to all, please cherish your love ones around you when they are still sound and alive. Do your part before it's too late.

Till then.

XoXo,
Tristan

Not a good day

1. Downpoured like mad. Rosh left without me! Thanks Sheryl for being the saviour of the day :)
2. Phone died on me summore. Paid effing RM 150 to repair on the spot, feel like kena conned. Damn Nokia(Authorised service centre tim!) fucking crook.
3. Chem II quizzes gagal keliling pinggang.
4. Chem II test 2 coming.
5. History I midterm test tomorrow. Only one chapter covered.
6. Our beloved Uncle Steven passed away out of a sudden(heart attack) this morning in Guangzhou before he started off his another quest of voluntary lecturing. Unbelieveable as he seemed sound and strong to us during CNY and could fled around Malaysia and Singapore actively during that period of him in South East Asia. I was practically floating and puzzled when mum told me about that. It's the biggest joke ever made for us to accept. It's like the minute before he was still cheering up the atmosphere back home, then the minute later he's already lying there without temperature. How cruel. I'm damn sad now. Totally out of mood. Anyways, sis going to Guangzhou tomorrow together with Aunt and Cousins for his funeral. His ashes will be resting in Singapore instead of the States for eternal peace.

Please rest in peace dear Uncle Steven.
Deepest condolence to Aunt, Terence and Kit Lun.

Another deep sigh to life...

I feel homesicked now.

I am easy and greasy

Do you know what's the best way to fry your brain up in less than 5 minutes?

Read US History to 1877. (Specifically Mark Carnes' and John Garraty's)

You are worse than a hypocrites if you were to tell me George Washington, John Adam, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison...are "interesting". I swear those security guards at the post can talk better. This is so classic.

Oh well, gonna binge so hard later.

Study is shit.

And you...

STFU alt F4 kthxbai.

How?

STACT Club interview session a while ago.

Result yet to be release on 3rd.

Syarat-syarat keahlian seperti berikut :

1. No coloured hair -check-
2. No skimpy outfits (duh!) -check-
3. No earring (wtf!)

The worst thing they haven't pointed out is what they didn't expect I will have at first place judging on my near stoic nerdy face.

My divine symbol of peace!

Time to evangelize myself. Should I?

First of all, how to camouflage them???

Weary

I'm so tired.

Of human relationship.

Of friendship.

Of academic pressure and the non- of it.

Of the secret grudge between few of my close friends.

Of the mask I have to put on everyday.

Of the me who is not the me at world's stage.

Of the me who can only be me behind the curtain.

Of the neutralised me and the me who longing for all good.

Of everything I want which I don't get.

It's so hard to please everybody these days.

Ketiadaan

Sepet.

I have a strong grip for it.

Yet I got no courage to say those words out loud.

My dear, there are only three.

Three's and the go.

But...I think it's getting away from me cos somehow it changed.

No longer the quality I yearned for.

Or maybe that's the little part I omitted.

Whatever, I don't like things being so much galvanized by contemporary vanity and philistinism as I turn older.

I shall move on.

I ought to be happy, therefore I am happy

When I was in the cab just now, this indian driver broke the silence and went, "Are you going for tuition,boy?"

..........

Muahaha. Seriously this is by far one of the most delightful sentence in 2008. I nearly gave the driver 10 more bucks upon hearing this. You know when people of my age approaching adulthood and leaving adolescent but yet still nostalgic about those salad days (and John Locke would have went like "tabula raaaaasaaa!"), you will soon realise la, I'm the prototype of people of my kind. Tell me who doesn't deserve to be young (by heart or whatever) at least once in a lifetime.

And my mum always have something about my look cos she thinks that I look older than my age and sound very "chao lao"(ripe?). Worse to worst, I have more wrinkles after my face got smaller. Why ah?

On an irrelevant note, I was ordering some pretzels from Auntie Anne's a while ago. When I told them the flavour that I wanted. They stared at me in blank. I was like wtf! Cheez, was I not suppose to pronounce "Jalapeno" natively? I told them "ha-laa-pee-nyo" and they would have thought I was uttering Thai or Swahili in this multilingual melting pot of KLCC. So many tourists around and what if they happen to encounter a real Mexican? And I'm still quite surprise to hear people around me Americanize the word "bolognaise", hello it's "boh-loh-nyeh-seh" not "boo-lock-nee-sss". I'm not a pro-American although I'm pursuing their degree, it's just so that Malaysian's is still pretty much left behind or I should say improving. I'm doing for my own interest, who cares about patriotism, can they feed your stomach? Action speaks louder. Please hor, I'm not turning the table ok? I still love Malaysia regardless of what. Digressed.

p/s : Omg I just saw some fireworks coming from Subang's direction when I was typing this post. But no point to have watched alone cos when the fireworks end, I'm carry on with my life as usual. And then, where have all the alarm clocks gone in KL besides Pasar Malam's? I've been hunting for one but to no avail so far, no wonder KL-ians all lack of the beauty of punctuality. I hate using hp as alarm clock. Mafan.

70% Green Tea + 30% Choya = reeeeelaxxxxxxxxxx~

Hira Hira Hira Yura Yura Yura...let the petals of cherry blossom fall!

Fat free post

Doing a lot of exercises.

Orofacial exercises and respiratory exercises.

Having buffet* is the best way to build up muscles on cheek cos when you eat a lot you can't stop training your jaws.

Singing is the best medicine to train a powerful lung, I can proudly proclaim 100 litres of oxygen per inhale is no longer a myth now.

Now tell me why do I need gym membership for?

I have good cardio stamina, good lung capacity and tight facial skin, what more can I ask?

Now I'm broke after several impulsive exorbitant buffet dinner and gambling which never won.

I'll never play blackjack with those sikaokinna anymore!

*Not applicable to Karaoke chain's buffet cos the food taste like a mixture of animal pisses.

p/s : Malaysian street food always have a place in heart but I miss all the seafood bars, endless fresh catch oysters, escargots, abalones, crabs, prawns, some unidentified clams, free flow of raw salmon and mackerel cutlets *drools*. Being a foodie is seriously sucks BIG TIME.

There is always a time for homemade salad, Tristano Delizioso Insalata on top of having the greatest fear of 6 days classes in a week straight. FUCK M. cos she victimised us by a 9 am class on Saturday, a 3 good hours lesson some more. Promising to finish a whole new chapter on that lesson, how evilish. Anyways, I'm so not coming cos I just wanna sleep. And I think every Saturday will be reserved for REMEDIAL classes from this week onwards. Double fucks!

Kthxbye.

Bedtime's thought 2

I've tried to manage.

I've tried to fathom.

But I still find myself clueless in the realm of vanity.

I'm being too overenthusiastic.

Actually the measurement is overly simple to accept.

Cos it's a surface matter and nothing's too deep.

Why the need of better instruments when things are so mundane?

Afterall it's all about single cell affairs.

Simple things make simple, complex things make possible.

I can be different, I can be the same, simple enough?

Bedtime's thought

See sometimes it's very funny,

when you feel the need to drift away for some social comfort,

they point at you and called you a deviant.

Then...

when you are impowered, your life is worthier than gold.

With filthy prestiges and cheap respects.

But,

when you are powerless, you are no where remote from a fallen leaf.

Or outcaste?

We are creating standards that contradict each others in some forms not known to us in the eyes.

Standards are just what people perceive, doesn't come by nature. Not actions but reactions. No right or wrong.

So don't judge me with your shallow standards.

I'm different in my own ways.

So as you.

A 20 and a 3 and a half quarters

Fortune Cookies




新年要开心，所以我很开心。

The V Chapter

Have been seeing flowers and bears since the 13th roaming the streets.

Can't they just think of any other things better to give aside from cakes, chocs, bears, flowers and cakes and chocs and bears and flowers and...oh well.

If this is gonna carry on for forever, what's the difference between Qing Ming Festival and V day? Every year we visit graveyard and offer flowers as a respect, soon became a symbol. But V day ain't got nothing to do with symbolism IMHO. It's a day of love and caring appreciation. Flower and so are optional. Nothing to symbolize, it's the bonding of love and caring between 2 persons that matter. The efforts run by both...this is a day to show appreciation instead of throw on a flower and get it over. I mean, if it were to happen to me, I will be overjoy to receive flowers and other conventional goods as well but later on I will have to ponder a little bit, what's the practical point? I receive flowers this year and I won't remember what actually happened this year by the next V day hits. I will be sitting around anticipating another bouquet of flowers again, if I doesn't receive any, still I will be sad and I definitely won't feel thankful for last year. It's already being pampered with materialism without meaning.

Last year. This year. Next year. 10 years later. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. 10 days later. No matter when, when you're in love with the right person. V day happens everyday. Everyday will be meaningful enough, deeply engraved in mind. Not just yet another day of flowers and chocs.

Flowers will die. Chocolates are diabetic and fattening.

Then again, singleton is bitter.

Chapter 1.0

Sorry Ed for getting the wrong info. La Q doesn't open on weekdays lol. I'm so gonna miss you after all these. Anyways, I think Ardii is a darn gorgeous creative director. At least he thinks differently than all the conventional people. Like he said, all these peoples are pretentious. Going there is like attending a materialistic fashion party. First they talk about their history of sex then fashion....way too shallow. Malaysian and those, what to do? And I didn't know Willian is a photographer and he owns a studio tim!

Anyways thanks for the companionships these few days. I shall wake up on time to commute to college starting tomorrow. Life has been quite bitchy and tiring after CNY. I need a rehab!

Happy Singletine. And have fun on the 14th.

Adios.