bah!

I hate to start off my entry with profanities but do excuse me, FUCK!

Alright, I have not been in pink health for few consecutive days. Coughings, sneezings, jellyings and you name it la. It gets me so demoralized! I cannot even concentrate on my overdue tutorials and there comes new assignments and more tutorials. Life ain't that great without a complete rat race, isn't it? And I extremely hate it when my nose is filled with starchy yellowish fluid which I guess I won't have to explain any further what is it. I know it is heatiness and what can I do? I have tried a lot of remedies such as herbal tea, honey, apple cider/vinegar, bittergourd but it seems all to no avail and just so you know, it is becoming even starchy and gross than before. Eww.

Oh well, COM 110 is getting hell rubbish these days than it is not. I got super low marks for my Informative Speech written assignment only because I left out a trivial "central idea" section on the cover page. Fortunately, it costs me only 10% weightage, not much worries eh.

Hmmm....just consulted the "Uncle" who in charge of the well being of tenants, he is not the landlord anyways, and I am so shattered cos he said I won't be able to retrieve my 2 months deposit if I was to move out before December. No mitigation, no grace period, everything straight referring to the rigid contract. That's why I say, contract is made out of human as well and moreover it is just a piece of paper with some inks written. What's the big deal then? Not even for a freaking month. That being said, I am still not gonna stay for the December to come cos I'll be off for semester break that entire month. So it will be kind of wasted eventhough I do not terminate the contract. I am thinking of breaching the agreement since they gonna make it so stiff. They can jolly well deduct from my 2 months deposit for the December rental and then all I'll lose is only 1 month deposit (tentatively la)...ngeheheheh. The benefit of having a Plan B *snaps*. Either way, I've already forseen everything that will come along. Come what may, I shall rule them out one by one.

On an irrelevant note, I have learned to let go a lot of long kept thoughts and sentiments. Miraculously, I feel a lot lighter now, I don't know if it's just me. Suppressing them beneath isn't gonna work anyway before they get out of hands. Life does not always go with the flow, you will never know where the river branches to and where the obstacles ambushing and I believe I can live better by giving less damns. Not to say sealing it but just try not to think that much, you know our minds are very complicated, it is not just what psychology can explain but far beyond that. The more you think, the further you will go until a point of no return and you doom.

To certain someone, I do not know what you want from me but I cannot give it anymore. I will try to meet you up one day and give you what you are supposed to get and then take what I am supposed to get from you. You know what I mean. That's it for it. Don't give me anymore inside jokes or some kinda hinting that my pea brain cannot comprehend. If you have anything stifling in you about me, shoot right in my face for good. I don't like tossing turning game. Good day to you.

And yea, I will be bringing rifle gun to the nearest TMnet customer service centre in real soon. Behold.

Got!

Fuck!

I was just telling that I felt a bit sick yesterday and it mutated into not-so-a-bit sick today! Been sleeping endlessly still feeling damn jelly. Couldn't even pay attention during Calculus class today. Luckily the quiz was kinda easy.

Where should I stay after my tenancy agreement expired? I don't wanna continue the agreement anymore! I'm sick of constant black outs, water rationing, connection interruptions...and the like.

Currently thinking of staying around Bangsar, Damansara Kim, TTDI, Section 16 or 17, Pantai Hillpark...any room available ah? I don't mind sharing as long as the other person doesn't bite :)

Junctures

Fell a bit sick after came back from Cameron Highlands! I fucking hate sore throat, it makes my breath stinks and can't consume solid food!

Just completed my 10% COM 110 mid term test, guess what? Completely fucked up! Inti UC lecturers definitely got pea sized brain because all the setting of questions require memorizing which I detest it a lot. Alright, I can compromise and give in to squeeze a wee bit ( around 100 definitions O.o) of definitions into brain but why the other questions are not reasoning questions instead of otherwise? I know those definitions are simple and short unlike Anthropology but still I did it wholeheartedly, not. The questions are so dry and boring just like written driving test. Fortunate part is that it weighs only 10% or else sure a gone case. Then to think 1.5 hours were enough for that?! Come on the main problem for me just now was time contraint, at least 1 hour and 45 minutes or make it 2 hours la......why so ironic one! Then final always hell long up to 3 hours. What's this?! Sien, hope can score at least 5/10 -_- . Oh did I mention that if it was ever an open-book test, I am VERY sure I can score 10/10 with flying colour. Bummer *roll eyes*

*****

And I'm so gonna talk about my Cameron Highlands trip! Although, we were there for less than 2 days but definitely well spent! Expectedly some flaws as well which to do with the travel bus when we were going there, we bought 7 tickets but only got 6 vacancies available and that was not even our fault cos we bought hell earlier prior to that. Some bitches definitely gotta pay off for that but they didn't! So finally, our group compromised and I voluntarily went and sat at the assistant driver's seat which was only a piece of foldable wooden seater extended next to the door on top of the stairs! Totally not meant for human postures I tell you, it was fucking bumpy and I swear I could just fell off everytime the bus swerve, even for a minute swerving! Cos no handles at all and no cushion for leg rest, basically a shabby piece of wood with cushion wrapping. Siao. So after 30 minutes, I just went to squeeze myself out in the main seaters for 2. Then 3 of us squeezed and just imagine the old curvy mountain road to Cameron Highlands, how much impact caused to my buttock and BodyBalance was put into use finally. Along the bus journey, we practically ruled the whole bus with our voices, me, Charles, Ru Wen and Sherly were playing chor dai di and the whole trip to me was like a gambling trip. Luckily I won a bit la. Upon reaching Tanah Rata, Mei Ching and her bf came fetch us to Brinchang for lunch. We had STEAMBOAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My 10th or so steamboat session before September ends but I'll still continue my liking on steamboat no matter how. Oh the interesting part was that Mei Ching bf was driving a Mitsubishi pick up and all of us rushed to sit at the open air carriage then drift along on the bendy road of Cameron Highlands with Mei Ching's bf superb driving skill. 7 of us squeezed in carriage screamed, shouted, gestured around, waved to curious passerby...like no one's business and we did the same thing through out the entire trip. After steamboating, we went to tea farm where Mei Ching's bf affiliated with to do some light visiting, then Rose Garden to climb the hill like donkey, Market to buy fresh organic vegs, fruits and snacks! At night we bbq-ed at some bbq pit away from our guesthouse! I think I shouted a lot through out the trip, thus sore throat T^T .Went back to our guesthouse at past 12 am, gambled again! Once sicked of gambling, we play other poker games with punishment of truth or dare...gosh! This part was obscene, I shall skip it.

Next day woke up at 8 am, slept for 2 hours only. Then we went to buy goodies and had bak kut teh! Blissfulness. Declined from the highlands at 1.45 pm and reached KL at almost 6 pm! Slept all the way so not much of nauseaness. A damn rushing, tiring but compact trip. Reached Subang around 8 pm and prepared for my COM 110 for today which already screwed nicely (aforementioned).

I forgot to bring my camera along so photos are all with them. Damn a lot! Will post up some later once I got them.

*****
Called Streamyx techical team for numerous time already, the problem still there, then just now I plugged in the housephone, to my surprise, no dial tone nor beeping tone at all! It's my phone line's fault which I pandai-pandaily blamed the wrong party. Hey but still like hell I care! They are affiliated afterall...each time I called, they were giving me different explanations which made me feel like bitchslapping them. So up until now, the problem still yet to be solved. TM technician is coming tomorrow to check out. God, I salute them for victimizing my connection almost 1 week! Can I get any better from TM Streamyx?

PS : I'm woozily switching between P1 and stealing private networks now. Have to switch off anti-virus in order to gain access summore! Fuck wei...sure will kena virus soon.

*****

Am still thinking of moving to Desa Kiara or not. But if I do, lotsa stuffs to be settled, first will gonna deal with my tenancy agreement for existing room (hope they mitigate me and return my deposit if I was to move out one month earlier than the agreement due date), second will be upgrading my FF membership to passport, thirdly transportation, fourthly move all my stuffs again which I very reluctant to do so.......lazy!

PS : Sherly said she wanna bring her newly born shih tzu to KL as our housedog so we can all take care of it! And summore asking us to share and buy one cheap 2nd hand car -_-.

Don't know la, I think there is a big possibility that I can't move to DK. Sighs.

**********

err...

Steamboat!

OMG! I had my fifth or sixth steamboat session in less than a month! This time we shop the groceries by ourselves and ta bin lou at rabbit's place. Ingredients wise, we just settled in Jusco Metro Prima. The smallest Jusco I've ever seen around haha...

Anyways, steamboat = binging = over-stuffing, we had 2 rounds and gosh the soup was awesome when it came to the end of the session, as usual I guess. We mainly prey on meats and seafoods!

And I was supposed to sneak in TOA for their Illustrator Worshop today but we all got up extremely late and they ponteng-ed. lol. My stomach is super protruding now and my diet plan kinda backfired for this week haha....and we went Bakerzin for cakes cakes cakes summmore T^T...I ate like 2 pieces shortcake/cheesecake + 1 pannacotta. @.@

Then, I'm going Cameron Highlands tomorrow with HELP-ians! For a day only la...coming back on Sunday cos Monday I'm having Public Speaking test 1 !!!! Pwnnnn....

Charles has already moved to Desa Kiara today and there's a vacancy left and they are asking me to take over which means I'll have to share with either him or his roommate...Master
bedroom leh! But the super trade off are my FF membership ( can upgrade to passport I guess) and the ever stupid transportation (go public as usual!) Gah!

Can't wait to leave Subang Jaya! *cross fingers*

Paper faces

I've been out almost everyday :(

Weekend as usual was hanging around in Kepong as an uninvited guest haha! And the steamboat in Menjalara was awesome especially their grilled chicken wings.

Yesterday spent some time to meet up Kei and Dominic...the lovey dovey couple! Although we don't have much things to catch up but still, it was good to see them just like how I miss all my friends in Ale. July'05 intake! Most of them are out of range already :(

Today, I went California Fitness to enquire about the pricings. Kinda worth but I might need to pay a not-so-thrifty amount of termination fee to FF if I was to join Cali. F. They have almost 40 GX classes O.o, that's crazy! But if I switch now, I'll get cheaper rate (before 27th), after that it will be very pricey again when the promotion finished :(. I dunno, have to give them answer on Thursday and deal off with FF within 2 freaking days! How possible can it be?! I need at least 2 weeks and the delisting thingy doesn't work on me if I can't get withdrawal. In addition, travelling to Sunway Pyramid is hell cumbersome as well as coming back. There are pros and cons and I really dunno how! The trade offs aren't significant at all which is to say that, both are equal cos the rebate I get from Cali. F is not enough or very insignificant to compensate for the penalty I pay for FF afterall. But the problem is joining Cali. F will be more worthwhile than paying hell lot for FF at this moment with lotsa restrictions bound. Sien.

Anyways, just gotten my Calculus test 1 result. Unexpectedly, I got an A!!!!!!!!!! Weeee I am so flattered cos I'm the top 5 among 30 over students! And the personal instructor in Cali. F is so good, he measured a mere 18.1% total body fat out of me which he claimed to be IDEAL! Simply means, I don't need to struggle so much for cardiovascular exercises in future and work harder to tone up ^^V yay! (according to the instructor of course...) Bodypump here I come...

***

I have been off mood lately due to some trashy encounters and it makes me re-evaluate those friends around me. Do they befriended me because they want to or they need to, I ask myself.

Ms. A, one of my really old friend badmouthed me and spreaded bad words about me on MSN which seriously pissed me off. I hate to say that people who uses MSN nick. to insinuate or victimise other people are plain sad anal. This is not the first time I got from her.

Mr. B, one of my friend la, not to say very good, that he always call me out for SOME reasons behind, mostly expecting something out of me. This time was not an exception too, called me out, asking for financial aid...otherwise I'm just nothing to him. When I asked him why do he needs money for, he couldn't reply but still continue to spendthrift like no one's business. How sad.

I'm not trying to instil my 20 cents in them nor attempt to change them but just hope they eventually realise what they are doing are upsetting me although it kinda seems alright for them, but I mind. I hate paper faces aka hypocrites, that was like the 43729387429th times I repeated these words. The me now is diplomatic, will turn green if you swept my feet off.

Actually I have more tales to tell...but just can't put them down in words. It's complicated and disheartening. I just felt so disrespected and underappreciated to befriend them. Sighs. I doubt my judgement once again.

Just recalled that it's mid-autumm festival aka mooncake festival today, as usual I'm all alone accepting wishes and greetings from friends. Thanks all :)

And when was the last time I light a lantern? hmm...those days.

OH AMMM JEEE

Miraculously, we finished our COM 110 class 1 hour earlier because Ms Kalai was having breakdown as a result of Raymond got on her nerves. She shed tears in front of the class. Haiz, this is the 2nd time in my lifetime I'm having a lecturer wept in front of us. Previously was Ms Wong in Maths class. And we decided to buy some token to apologise to her on behalf of that ass hole. Zomg~

Ms Shanta was hinting me about my test 1, she questioned my why didn't I come for the class on Thursday, was it due to the test........upon hearing that I could sense that there's a ambiguity. haiz. Fine, I know I'm sucks! I'm just not meant for exams -_-

Oh yesterday we were having in house steamboat session in Xiao Yee's place until midnight and I went back my room at around 6.30 am to complete my COM 110 assignment then terus went for class at 8 am. Upon finishing all the lectures for the day, I dragged my jelly body back and passed out until 6pm haha...straight!

Guess who I met today? Vinodh Varma Prathappan! He will be attending TBS from next week onward and staying in Pangsapuri SJ...man! What a small world. And then one of my Bodybalance instructor, Ping, is actually my neighbour's daughter! Direct neighbour, one concrete wall away that kind of.....but she could not recognise me as I usually go for Kat's class instead of hers. Again, what a small world!

My tests and assignments are perpetually screwing me hard, I just done with my informative speech yesterday, 7 pages full of words, almost 2000 words done in 4 hours. Energies wore out. Ms Shanta kinda spoilt my weekend mood. I'm feeling a lil' emo already. Not only because of that, but why am I being treated like a puppet all the while? My tenderness is mistaken, my feelings are jokes, my existence is shrimpy at the first place. Gosh, I'm so petrified. Everything around me is plasticising slowly!

Black

Didn't go to college today cos yesterday I was doing my assignment until 5 am, today terus slept until 3 pm. 4 hours of lectures habis masuk jamban. Actually I woke up at 10 am at first but not in the mood to go college, Calculus was at 12pm, I see no point of going also since my effort didn't pay off at all :( and today she will be teaching Partial Fraction which I already learned for don't know how many times since A-levels era until last semester, it's repetitive and dry.

The only problem is attendance which I can't be bothered with it. And if you think I must have been slacking for the whole day, let sky keeps you then! I'm continuing with my forever undone Public Speaking assignment, after that still have to complete my overdue Calculus tutorials. *swoons* BEST of all from short sem! Oh yea, next week is test and assignment week (since we more or less done with our first assessments for the semester except for COM 110's test ahead after that week) so won't be having any classes except for the effing Calculus remedial classes! Darn pain in ass rite?

I'm having a very bad omen this few days. I can sense dark forces around!

For e.g. of catastrophes happened of late,
- rabbit accidentally smashed ppl's Apple MacBook
- Mich lost her phone
- I screwed Calculus test (which I strongly believe it is to do with the dark forces)
- rabbit car spoilt
- rabbit's paranormal encounter
- Mich's paranormal encounter
- coincidentally, 3 of us couldn't go to college on the same day under mutually exclusive
events

very very hak zai la...time to go temple and ask for blessings again.

PS : fuck wei, I still can't get over with my Calculus test lor...blood still boiling and really hard to suppress my depression over it cos of the hardworks I put in!sighs...hope my result this time won't die horribly at least. Come on la, few more marks better than last semester's very hard ke? Nenek Shanta!

Malapetaka...

We went Ikea for lunch after my class, right after doing all the monkey businesses with the furnitures only to realise that Mich lost her phone :( super unfortunately cos inside the phone contains a lot of photos and videos of our now and then crazy footage which shouldn't be exposed! Fuck wei....seriously damn anal. Potong stim terus.

Memang malangnya today, mula-mula screwed Calculus test I (as usual la...all test screwed...roarrrrrr!), then came this party pooper who didn't wanna return the phone or at least send it to the customer service counter for lost and found. We lodged a report to the management though but to no avail la...hope the bastard or bitch who chanced upon the phone gets burn in hell, contracts STD and impotent for entire life, kena dumped or whatever it is, cos he/she so anal enough to switch off the phone immediately! We had sent lotsa SMSes to him/her, waiting for reply if he/she ever switches on the phone for good. Hope he/she does really has conscience about his cruelty sempena bulan ramadhan (if the fuckface is a Muslim). Otherwise, insyallah let him/her be anak jahanam and anak syaitan! ..........can't stop cursing.

I'm in bad mood now. Gloomy. Everything is going against my way :(

" No one dies a virgin, cause life always fucks you over " - Menaka June George (secretly quoted from her haha)

Should have opted for Intro. to Philosophy...Mr. Eddy looks promising, in terms of TEACHING.

Moichido

Have been stressed over Calculus of late. Tonnes of tutorials yet to be done. Still accumulating directly proportionate to my amount of procrastination. Hmmph...I don't know la. Will be having my test 1 for the semester later, I thought I've covered my complacency despite I need to plough through for some cumbersome formulae and workings which as usual, pain in ass. Whatever it is la.

Knowing that I'll be having a divine test pounding me hard later. Obviously, I need to destress a bit before the test. hehe. And did I not like doing my homeworks off donkey-cow-ish-ly this semester? At least currently recording a minimal procractination rate compared to then :) . And so yea, I have all the reasons to slack!

There is this new Neway outlet opening around Subang Jaya Uptown. Within vicinity. And newly opened, HAVING PRICE SLASHING PROMOTIONS! How can we not being tempted leh? K-Lunch with 50% off by flashing your member card on the spot and then normal hour/happy hour you get 10% mark down upon presenting member card plus student privilege. Total rip off. Promotions lasted until end of September nia! And I'm having this shrouded pleasure where I've already visited all the Neway branches in Malaysia except for another new one just few km's away from Subang Jaya, located in Puchong right opposite IOI Mall. But then won't be going there by any chance since it is out of the way and why the hell should I go there when I'm having one just across a street away. Yea, I'm proclaiming this haha. But the irony is I've never been to the Karaoke franchise which is nearest to my house in JB.

Eh, why am I ranting here in the first place...? Should I not be studying for my test at this odd hour?!

Just a spontaneous entry out of nothingness. I've got no inspiration these days around. I can't even answer a simple question like "How do you define the beauty of art?" Which so contrary to the retrospect me! And don't remind me anything to do with Public Speaking assignment due this Friday...cos I'll be so DEAD, DEADly in a way that I'm compelled to use BLOCK LETTERS! Blank on topic yet, I hate free topic, cos I'm a hammerhead :( ...hate to make decisions. And just so you know, the topic must be able to attract audiences' attention and my aundiences are in fact IMAGINARY. Hell, you've got me there COM 110.

Need to drill a hole in my head that I very much BELIEVE I have to. pwwn.

*****

Wayfarer glasses. Grey wigs. Cracked bled lips. Rolled eyes. Baseball cap. Piece of horror meant face. Hills Have Eyes inspired. Emancipated from photo-editing gismos. Ladies & Gentlemen that WAS me in wonder. Truely authentic. Grossness.

~~~~~

Update : Zomg! Screwed my Cal. II test again, initially thought of scoring at least 40/50 and who knows Ms Shanta being oh-so-good, questions set by her were like damn EASY can? No I mean the exercises in the textbook are not that hard actually but why the test came out completely different things? Apparently she is trying to be nice in a hostile way, giving us multiple of challenges. Gah! Damn sien...

Flaming entry

Turning green and craving for your neighbour's dogs , cats and babies...

Listen there,

If you're trying to get me off my nerves, congrat-your-f**king-lations, you've pull it off.

My turn to revenge next. Should you have anymore inflictions on me, feel free to do that and

you shall have a taste of your OWN blood as a result.

Once again, f**k off for all I care. :)

zomg

Random debaucheries...


Dai Chao style calamari!

Dai Chao style oats butter escargot~

All apples down *.*

Poseur

Pyramid ice...


Week end = contented, super fully bloated...well spent?!

New piles of DVDs added to the present piles...*cross fingers*

kthxbye.

MJ tote

A historical moment in my life I must blog about. I know it might sounds obsolete and 70's but at least been-there-done-there haha...

So last week before I went out for bowling with helpians, I saw one brown package in my mailbox (woot!someone might gonna took it if I failed to notice or wasn't in!), I knew it was my parcel! So I just grabbed it and stuffed inside my bag then off I went.

Anyhow,


Tadah! I've got mail from another side of the globe in another hemisphere!


Priority Mail, a bit snail mail-ish but cheaper, it took about 1 week or less but still fucking not cheap, shipping+misc. altogether burned me around 15+ USD! EVEN MORE COSTLY THAN MY STUFF ITSELF!

Jeng Jeng Jeng...the front of Marc Jacobs canvas tote in dispute. Savannah limited edition series. It's cheap though, retailing for measly 10 USD but I got it for 10++ USD :( cos it's impossible to see any MJ retailer in South East Asia. Not even Singapore.

The back. I know it looks cheap with no compartments but I really like the graffiti design embedded. And it is Marc Jacobs, what more can I say?

The tag that attached to the straps. Promising MJ's logo.

Spent like 29.78 USD in grand total. Which is approx. RM 110! Not to say a rip off but I'm pretty satisfy with it.

*****

The bottom line is, it looks kinda girlish and tad too simple (frugal) cos it is a tote afterall. But who cares? I'm gonna use it for shopping and gym. I'm always very environmental friendly and I detest retailers who give out plastic bags. IMHO, all of us should just carry our own totes whenever we do shopping. Global warming alert!!! Are you not aware of that yet?

All in all, eBay-ing was fun but you need to aware of what you buying as you might be caught in lawsuit later if there are unresolved disputes going on such as you agreed to bid something and once you won it, you are compelled to buy it and abide to the regulations otherwise have to settle with the seller personally off-policy. Beware of imitation goods as well and some stuffs are really not worth to buy. Some are cheap though. If I got the $ I'll surely go for more significant MJ or Paul Smith stuffs, irresistable! And the MJ tote is one of the cheapest piece of garments in Marc series. haha. Thus, I can afford for it lo...

________________________________________

Bulan September must have recorded the highest birthrate over the years, why must everyone born on September? That means coughs...se...coughs...xual...coughs...intercourse...coughs for reproduction is extremely high during December and January cos people might have already got their allowances :D . Digress....

Sempena bulan 9 wishing,

Yee Fei (9th)

Terence (11th)

Ben (11th) - both the terrorist guy

Cheryll (15th) - previously mistaken as 14th

Mummy (28th)

Hooi Ching (7th)

and all the anak-anak September...HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance or belated! It's the heart that matters most, not presents. Something I've been telling myself all the while...*smirks*

the goings

herroow...it's thursday night and me boring. victimising my blog once again with monotonous entry about what i do for the day which I supposed no one would be interested in knowing. but heck, i'm not gonna stop blogging because of that, what do you think when i've already been blogging for none over the years but still persist to move along? there aren't any momentum behind la...it's just an emotional outlet and that's all. i don't blog fulfill my rice bowl, i don't blog to gain popularity, it's always better to remain anonymous but heck those pictures on my banner and sidebar obviously outroar the me who wants to stay in anonymity...i'm narcissistic for a mere 10% ONLY.

me is expecting 2 tests on consecutive weeks. next wednesday will be calculus II test 1 and week after's monday i'm expecting for COM 110's test 1 as well. the pace of the syllabus is really crazy. like for last semester ms shanta was just taking her own sweet time to teach, lecture's break often not less than 15 minutes but this semester the differences are very apparent. what to do, it's short semester afterall. and i didn't know Public Speaking requires so darn many brainworks mainly memorising all the definitions. I mean, come on, it's P-U-B-L-IC S-P-E-A-K-I-N-G, aren't we supposed to speak instead of drafting our speeches and end them with the forever CLEVER note.what a bummer! having said that, i still manage to procrastinate a wee bit this time around. haha. since calculus II is repeated subject, thus, got my hands on it faster than the others (not), but for those later chapters i might be screwing them as well, for they are so much pain in ass!

and i'm gonna tell u about my gym workout progress, i don't care if you're reading or not. i got hooked on to bodypump of late! slowly i'm drifting away from bodybalance because i've spent too much time on bodybalance which mainly aims for soul soothing thereof. whereas bodypump, as per the name tells, it pumps muscle into muscles (no pun intended)! more desirable than hogging dumbells over freeweight zone with beefy monsterous looking muscle men, that do nothing but to show off their freaking tight tissues. can't say it's a big turn on but i feel like kicking their arses in the school of manner which i can't because I might become pulps as a result. hehe. anyways, i'm feeling so "tight" now, tight as in my tissues and muscles after attending bodypumps for 3 days in a roll, in case anyone thinks otherwise.

my first assignment for this semester is knocking my door finally! ample thanks to ms kalai eh! it's on informative speech. topic wise, i'm free to choose any as long as it's informative and following the right format in proper manner. eventhough i'm still cracking my head for what topic to lay my pen on! one topic from infinity...HELP! what topic should I choose? social issues and homosexuality are among those i'm familiar with having been doing them for more than once already, i know it can be blunt but at least they are my flagship expertise in essay writing albeit only around 1000 words. I JUST WANNA PLAY SAFE LAAAaaaAAaaaa...must get GPA 3.0 for this semester since last semester was so close to the targeted point already!

in any case. i need suggestions on topics please! gimme some clues...

one day lor

this morning i was almost late for calculus, luckily, auntie the landlord lady saw me and she was my saviour of the day for fetching me to college.haha.nothing much happened around college as usual.classes are as boring as they seem.calculus is getting ok-ish but i got blew out of the water when ms shanta told us the ideal test 1 period should be on next wednesday and the next thing i know was i have to insert my eyeballs back into the sockets and lift my jaw.to make it sounds worse, we are getting delayed on our lecture pace although it is already moving very fast like suffocating level? well, definitely not a pleasant news to us since we can be very much expecting remedial classes on weekends, tentatively yet, bwee...! Public speaking class is getting hell boring these days, the feeling of enl 101 is back again without even noticing. i swear i can just doze off and wake up on the next day of the class. tht's really the dull end of all lectures.

anyways, after class smelly rabbit called me to have lunch at subang parade, another boring place to dine. me, mich, smelly rabbit and xiao yee settled down in sakae sushi and ate like mad la. the bill came out to be so much cheaper than what we had been expecting. total rip off. mich had to do some shopping at carrefour cos she will be moving back to ridzuan at last haha. after that, i could hardly open my eyelids cos i hadn't been napping before that, then, urged them and got back to my filthy shelter...dang...passed out until 7 pm and hit the gym.

came back, had dinner and rushed for my calculus' tutorials, it's gonna due on friday together with the usual quiz. and i couldn't finish it by today, which means procrastination is needed once again. short semester is killable, what more can I say?

thereby, shall call my day an end, the epitome of a boring college student is more well defined by now. go on and laugh. i don't need sympathy. i'm having the soli-bear with me now :) blissfulness.

i'm finish off my piling dvds and vcds on this weekend, they've been long overdue as i was mostly out or busy during the weekends. some very "lum" movies awaiting like evita, love actually, sad movie, music & lyrics...surely gonna makes me go awwwww.

i am easy i am lazy

what i've been doing for my past weekend? a question for self-comforting, i'm gonna make them it short and simple, ever.

friday : rock climbing (turned Ben down after suffered from the aftermath of bodypump), bowling with helpians, badminton with helpians, table tennis with helpians and parasited at desa kiara courtesy of nicole

saturday : sing k with some really lame shitty hostile peoples (not included charles and alex)

sunday : slept at Hock Lee till late noon, eat and back to sj

yes, i practically forgot to bring my toothbrush, thus, 2 days never brushed my teeth, but i did rinse it with listerine and toothpaste.fine, go, laugh.

desa kiara was not too bad actually! although not as kick ass as smch but vitality rates are higher cos equipped with 2 swimming pools, 1 indoor badminton court, convenient stores, security, cafe, not to be left out---reasonable rental rates! did i mention that sj uptown is a complete dead town to say the least! where to get such amenities for FREE around? unfortunately, dk is currently fully occupied with tenants :( vacancies are nearly impossible before end of the year. and it's few kilometres away from sj...how am i gonna travel with tht kinda distance then from Damansara Uptown to SJ? gah...

ps : and some really awkward incidents tht "bemused" my weekend...gross.

Mamula moon

Public Speaking class was sooo fun! I must say I love Ms Kalai a lot! Not because of the grade she has given me in ENL 101 but her ways of teaching are so relaxing and amusing! And one thing, Essential of Public Speaking is not a subject for you to shit your pants off and whatnot, rather it teaches you how to overcome all of them. Judging from that, I hope it is better than ENL 101, too dry.

Calculus II was kinda blur, I wish I don't see Ms Shanta again * scoffs*. I don't know whose problem is it anyways but most likely I'm not gonna blame myself completely for it. No doubt she is good and amiable but she seems to find excitements and satisfactions by giving us hard times like challenge us with all sorts of algebraic/non-algebraic equations that full of radicals, the more complicated they are, the louder she can laugh! Alright I mocked up the latter. I'm paranoic.

Oh yea, about the post title, is it true that our national anthem really derived or worse, plagiarized from other songs in the past. I've heard a lot of versions. First was in Bahasa Indonesia version, then later chanced upon Cantonese version sang by Li Si Kei in one of the stage show on Wah Lai Toi, then now the aloha mahaloha~ Hawaiian English version came out from nowhere...or it could be the composer of Negaraku was too brilliant and he decided to sell the copyright all around to earn more, boosting popularity? Beats me but I kinda feel mortified, if it's ever true that our national anthem is a product of plagiarism itself. Where should all fellow Malaysians put their pride at in that case when their national anthem was being sung as pop song in olden days, let alone making big hoo-haa over the parody version, Negarakuku. Maybe we should revise the older version of Negaraku and thank Ng Chee Ming for that newly remixed one.

PS : If there's a chance of voting off the current national anthem and replace with another. Can I suggest "Together We Are One" by Delta Goodrem. lol. The melody flowing is so spirited and spunky that it makes me stand up and sing along imagining there is a huge crowd before me beyond the stage...I raise my fist, pump it in the air and sing along with pride. Madness.

Back in limbo

After 2 weeks of senseless break, here I am, rotting at the hopeless place, dearie SJ.

PBE called today for my Paypal payment's confirmation. Nearly terkejut cos I can't afford to let anything happen afterall this is my first time buying things on eBay...successfully! Kena outbidded on so many items that I like, sigh! In the end got this mystery thing that I shan't disclose...hehe. Definitely not CD lucah.

Bad bad bad and to make thing worse confronted with tonnes of debts now...namely all the utility bills, rental(ptui!), card, outstanding payments that owed to Mr. Yau since ages ago and recently. Moreover, I'm still in midst of raising $ for my annual trip. Just started not long ago and it seems more are flowing out than coming in, sigh. Papa kedana once again. I shall survive on more dehydrated food instead of fine dining. Sadness. Told you all are psychic and it's not like I'm very superstitious but I believe the more you refrain yourself from doing something, the tendency of committing it tend to be higher. So the moral of the story is, don't force yourself to do it when you can't live up to it. Period.

Tomorrow Calculus II at 8 am.....a very deadly timing. I swear Monday 8 am is totally against god's will. BY ALL MEANS.

May all be perished!

PS : another deadly thing harming me is BOOKS! I have 11 more new books to my shelf, mostly Chinese books. With that and those old books that yet to be read. I got almost 25 non-academic books with me now awaiting to explore. Ah, sis is gonna buy me more from SH cos Chinese books are dirt cheap over there. Definitely a rip off! :D

high school memories

I had the sudden urge to dig out all my old photos to take a good review of the retrospect me sempena National Day. So while I was flipping through the dusty(yea,literally dusty) photo album. A stack of sticky photos slipped through the gap in between pages and fell on to the floor. I didn't bother much about it but when I squinted my eyes to catch more details(I didn't wear spec la!). I was galvanised! Man! Those were my early narsissictic remarks! I actually went on puri kura session all ALONE back when I was form 1! How......pathetic and lamentable hor! Where got ppl take puri kura alone one unless he is some Shibuya 109 girls maniac who lives in his own impeccant and off worldly limbo. Feel like covering up my face so bad...so many silly things I've done in the past. Again, taking puri kura ALONE........sounds so 70's. What the hell I was thinking at that time? *swoons*

Then came these set of photos that taken when a bunch of Japanese students came visit our inferior SMKAB! The 1st time was a boy school called Rise Isha School from Osaka, and I was one of the leaders and ambassadors to conduct a group of 5-6 jap boys for school tour. We practically having communication problems but I was trying to use my crude Japanese in order to errr...convey my piece of thoughts la! I learned most of my Jap. from song lyrics back then as I was a total J-pop addict when no one around me even bothered. Ayumi, Kuraki Mai, Utada, Misia, Speed, Chage and Aska, Southern All Stars, ELT, DAI, Hitomi, Takashi Sorimachi, Fukuyama Masaharu, Morning Musume, Minimoni, Tanpopo, Gomatto.....a lot la! And most of them are goner now, sad. Alright, digressed. So it was fun and I was all excited when I heard Japanese gonna visit our school, being so mountain monkey rite? Then came the 2nd visit of Japanese student when I was form 5, and this time was a co-ed school with cute girls and boys. Like those you seen in J-dorama came into reality, yes I know I was very mountain monkey. Haha....and hell their female teachers are like 松岛菜菜子，饭岛直子，松隆子...mature looking yet charismatic like news reader. As for male teachers, too decent and bumpkin looking haha! Not the typical hana yori dango look you've been expecting so far...fantasy immune one.

High school life was not too bad though, although SMKAB is not up to a premier school standard anyhow but it does embed some very nice memories in head from time to time. Camping organisings, event organisings, the tormented marchings and first aids, squash sessions, various duties and volunteering, hutan bandar, hari bendera, hari urusniaga, pet sisters and pet brothers, gang fights, competitions, bullies, insults, pontengs, kena demerit, stay-backs, conduct first aid teachings, performances...the goods and the bads and yada yada! Man, there were tonnes of involvements...which absolutely contrary to the me today.

Therefore.....

Hereby, for the first time in my life, I salute to SMK Aminuddin Baki and the national education system for given us such wonderful experience eventhough not in academic wise but still credit is where credit due! Happy 51st Merdeka Day to my lovely Malaysia! 50 years of nationhood does not come easily without unity and perpetual efforts!

nada sousou

Nada sousou ~english version~ by Hayley Westenra. Kinda nice but why is it got echoes behind her voice?! Couldn't find the audio file around the net though. Anyone has it please send me k? And alson, where to find eng/chi subtitbles files for Japanase movie around? It's kinda ruining my pleasure knowing that what I've been downloading all the while are mostly of incomplete stuffs! How am I suppose to watch with Japanese subtitles? Imagine how intelligent are those people out there who created Jap subtitles instead of Eng/Chinese. Totally deserve all my cursings to burn in hell! Bummer...

Sekai no chushin de ai wo sakebu (phew what lengthy title!) is nice! Kinda reminds me of 1 rittaru namida (1 litre of tears) where the girl somehow being diagnosed with some sickness and slumped off eventually...and wee wang wang wee wang wang lotsa crying scenes going on. I can still remember how this movie blasted the cinema back then, everyone was practically saying how sad it is...and my Bangla friend namely Isti watched it as well, haha! Oops.

Nada sousou is equally nice as well with more dialogues than the one above and tears inducing! I can't believe Tsumabuki Satoshi died in the end! And it ended up that it is not so a love story as what I expected earlier. How should I categorize it hmmm...folk perhaps on a higher side of heart-touching scale. Okinawa~nii nii

Nana 2 is a bit boring and linear. Watched it last week and the new Hachi Nana which was not the previous one anymore looks sucky apparently. I can't stand stoic acting! I wonder why they changed the cast...Ren is switched as well but this one looks better haha. Overall the story is nice but the ending is tad too rushing and simple like the director only came to realise they got not enough budget at the end of the shooting so just clutter up the remaining. What the.....oh and Hachi got pregnant! *swoons*

I know I'm so overdue with all these movies! To give you the benefit of doubt, procrastination is my nature...for sakes of STUDYING!

***

Work (check)

1st semester result (check)

2nd semester registration (check)

Download Japanese movies (check)

Rehab ( )

I'm emo :( ....yea I am still AM!

Fuck stress

My new form 4 co-worker really driving me to grave, almost died...just don't ask why.

Luckily, Michell, Chanel and Max came over and saved my day :) we went supper at Century Garden!

Gotta Off. Otherwise there will be a zombie selling mooncakes at Carrefour JB later.

Retro

While I was munching on my edamame just now, I couldn't help but frowned like there was a serious cramping on my facial movement. Nono, don't get me wrong, it's not the taste of edamame changed. Although it has been sitted inside the freezer for months but they still taste nice like just freshly plucked from one of the many farms in Japan. However, I did it naturally like being widely possessed by involuntary muscles. Then I was told that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. If that's so, why didn't I smile?

I don't know why but I hardly smile these days as was noticed by one of my old co-worker today. She was saying that I've changed a bit, like more melancholic than the cheerful happy go lucky half-a-year-ago me. Monkey business is totally my business. Reborn living clown is what potraying childish side of me, which glad to say that, more prominent, back then.

Things have been drastically changed in less than half a year span, like whenever I look back, things always seem to be better, life was less complicated, better memories, mood cheerier, easily contented...just like grass is always greener on the other side, and if those are true, I must be falling into a cesspool of declining self worth. So deep into an abyss, lost my way home. I deserve for my own demise I guess.

So many times, trying to raise both the ends of my lips, but well they still can't succumb to the gravity force. Been exerted a lot of efforts to hitch on the utmost smiling but no longer as genuine as before. When you were a child, all you need is very little to make you smile...why then my face is now sour and bitter?

Where has it gone?

Gone with my lifeless fed-up soul and never be back again?

God, please put a smile on my face again if you could hear me.

Wednesday insomnia

I can't really sleep and the clock is tickling near 2 am now. Have to crawl up early for worms, yea you wish, for WORK! That's a common symptom when I start working for the first few days. Reluctance. Co-workers are cordial, in fact overpowering beyond acceptance. They can just keep mouthing uncontrollably next to my ears without looking at my expression, I was practically rolling my eyes and pinching my palm beneath hoping them to stop whilst holding back my fists as well. At this point, you would think that I'm being hostile or what but I bet you will think otherwise when you are in my shoes. I've no clue about why youngster (below 20) these days are repleted with excessive frivolous ambitions, perhaps due to my premature full-fledged grown-up personality that leads me to this thought. Well, being a jovial gentleman I am, my ears are compelled to stuff in those words pretending that I was actually pretty admire their spirits. Dude, it's good to harbour dreams but please do make effort to materialise it otherwise you are just a doormat or weakling. I especially hate it when they kept telling me how well the sales in TC, fuck you, CS is topping the list in any case for years and yours truly senior here has been working in CS stall for 2 years and who are you to rant about what's happening in TC, look at me, been-there-done-there! Can't blame them cos they probably didn't bring along their eyeballs or lack of iris. I really couldn't care less...afterall kids say the darnest things when they are still clean palettes :)

Spending a few days at home doesn't make any difference from isolating myself in Subang Jaya. Home is figuratively getting far apart from what I've been wishing for, a shelter for my hopeless soul but nowadays, home to me is just yet another stopping-by. No longer having cryptical meaning. Simple as it is, 4 pieces of concretes with roof overhead, an insensate construction. Can't get any simpler.....how sad. Don't be amiss la, I'm not emo-ing here but I have been stifling to much of frustrations so ought to be released once in a while lest I'll turn into another breakdown. And yesh, I have haywire mentality, sad aye? Unless anyone out there can bear their ears for me to pour out, I bet there are any...like none haha.

Having thinking of so many also reminds me of how silly I was to fall for a person who will never ever fancy me...haha. I know I'm stoic la but still I'm made of flesh and bones. If you were to ask me do I still having the same feeling towards the person I crushed on. I won't gonna elaborate much as it's complicated and probably blasphemous. Just hope that my silent affection will be acknowledged one day and I don't know when will it be but...just watch as the days go by. Used to be very fragile in emotional management when the crush was at its optimum but you see, since it's only an one way admiration relationship, I shall hold back a bit and stop going beyond stupidity. Hope that person will realise eventually even after the feeling has gone...I don't mind anyway. I'm chickened.

....seriously. I have no one. No one can be trusted better say. I'm misanthropic. Blame me for all you want. I don't care. That's how I feel. Period.

Jijik!

I'm semi-officially start working today in TC. Crowd was ok, not too densed compared to CS. Heck, my uniform is in navy blue + pink like who the hell will wanna wear this piece of shit? It's too embarrassing to wear it even as pyjamas. And we are forced to BUY them, screw it.

Anyways, me gonna work for 9 days only in grand total. Hell short ya! Tomorrow I'm going Carrefour and day after at Lien Hoe. Oh don't even bother to remind me about doing sales report (T.T), malapetaka!

Touched down at 7pm so I just loitered around the bookstore wanted to buy "吉米" series but then thought of baru first day kerja nia, if spent on few books surely few hundreds will terus burned. So I'll buy them later in order to buy at ease...hehe. Since those books are so pictorial, I'm very sure I can finish all of them in less than a day or two -_-. Reading is fun but not very cost efficient ehehe!

Speaking of mooncakes, my company has invented most (if not all) of the disgusting mooncakes in market.

A short brief...

珠圆玉润 - (red bean paste + omochi with red bean paste filling)
绝代双娇 - (white lotus paste + green tea omochi with green tea filling + carotene filled plain
omochi)
五仁玉月 - ( 5 types of grain blended together, walnut + almond + X + Y + Z + malt sugar,
potong stim betul)
娘惹叁曼 - (simple filling, lotus paste + sambal, one word DISGUSTING)
心太软 - (stupid name, lotus paste + cranberries (wtf!) + jelly + lychee omochi with red dates
filling, tutti frutti flavors but still not my cuppa tea)
好预兆 - (another stupid name, yam paste + pandan omochi with strawberry jam filling + jelly,
equally jijik as any other)

.....of the few notorious ones.

After some of my simple introductions, do you still feel like tasting any one of them? Pictures will be up later, maybe. My feeling is too apathetic towoards mooncakes instead of bearing on the great interest that nurtured from new year cookies.

I know it's creative but just too complicated for the flavouring.....I will anytime prefer the the most conventional one, lotus paste with few egg yolks. Gosh those mooncakes just driving me crazy, worse than new year cookies. I don't even have the kick to eat them, lest my taste buds will gonna fucked up and die on me.

Anyone interested in buying pls buzz me up as soon as possible, got discount!!! But by all means, take my advice....eat at your own risk and of course all of them are edible.

Pek Chek

And yea...so holiday was WELL SPENT for the first few days.

Buttock rooted at my chair in front of my desk, am I seeing fungus?

Visited my paralysed grandpa for almost everyday, and I went pasar malam today!!!!Gosh, it's been years I never stepped into a night market around that area. With only 20 bucks, I fully utilised all the Economic theories I've learned finally -_-

I came back without anymore spaces to hang plastic bags around my fingers! 1 buck of balance somemore, heck I'm so efficiently auntie-ish! Squeezed my way to berebut with folks for the freshly fried "goreng chempedak"... *.....*

Talking about Ah Soh, Jenny called me and asked me to start working tomorrow :( happy or sad? Beats me...

PS : Sorry ah BL and KP, I know you all have been telling me about the gathering on Friday since ages ago but if I can't take leave out of the puny less-than-2-weeks job also boh pien...plenty of time ahead afterall. Pai seh! M2M will be around with Xiao Yee anyways, so more merrier I supposed. Come Tebrau City find me la...

Loveholic

Don't ask me why, just watch it and cry your heart out. An exceptionally sad MV after Na Neun Yo Jja Im Ni Da (Because I'm A Girl) by Kiss. Another old song as well but too popular to make me from stop remembering it.

Ladies and gentlemen, Sky by 러브홀릭(leo-beu-hol-lik)

Holiday mood = no mood

Mum was not in today, and food storage at home has been miserably down or I better say non-existence since don't know when. I was trying to korek some dehydrated foods and to my glee, found few packets of hapless instant noodles and spaghettis without paste -_-. Thought of eating homecook food so much (yea yea * roll eyes*) before the break indeed that was the homecook food that granted, cooking by myself at home aka "homecook" food.Ironic! Ok la, Mum is not in for the weekend cos she has to take care of my grandfather. Dad is terribly sucks in cooking and he has to deal with some household stuffs for forever, akhirnya I got neglected. Get over and deal with it!

I was damn pissed with my dad sometimes, he will ask me to drive him but must give me endless piece of mind since the moment I fastened my seatbelt until I pull off the handbreak. Like digitally recorded mantra, keeps nagging 'till infinity's infinity. The fact is I have my way of driving as long as it is safe. Why bother to care so much of tiny details? I will horn when I wanna horn, flash the headlight when I wanna flash, signal when I wanna signal, change lane when I wanna change, take over when I wanna take over...just let me drive peacefully la. Walao eh! 2 years already...That's why I don't feel like driving most of the time cos he will sure have to "accompany" along and make things worse by giving more confusions to the extent of endangering our lives! I'm being serious ok...and for some fucking reasons, JB is filled with so many motorcycles. Jor tau jor mei and kakacaucau! I'm so gonna bang them down and roll over their lil' brain into pulps with my tyre sometimes. Alright, I'm sick. Blame it on the weatherman.

Practically flu-ing for after so many months. I'm so happy that I'm at home finally :D

Working on Monday, yay! My docket is occupied.

Flat

Went to register for next semester's subjects just now and out of expectation they aren't any 3 subjects combo available! Voila, which means it's nearly impossible to maximise 9 credit hours in short semester -_-. And so, I've chosen 7 credit hours instead, which amount to 2 subjects only. Calculus II (T.T) and Essential of Public Speaking. One heavy and one light...neautralised :D hopefully.

Just cheung k-ed with a bunch of HELP-ians...-_-...I had already went cheung k twice in less than a week time. Sien.

*****

像猪一样肥，烦恼吗？

像猪一样笨，可怜吗？

像猪一样懒，有罪吗？

像猪一样脏，丢脸吗？

我是一只猪耶，想干嘛！就干嘛！

为什么人们不愿承认的事就通通赖给猪？

猪也会伤心的。

你们别再侮辱猪了，有种就别吃猪的肉！

Debauched

Shhh...I'm having Way Loon staying over and he's asleep cos having Calculus 1 test later haha. Can't really hit the keys with strength now -_-

Anyways, yesterday was too sinful! Since I screwed my Chemistry final, so I could't stop my tempting for food. Those are not mutually exclusive in my case, mind you! So I had eaten around half the universe, if not whole. Awful Sakae Sushi (absolute disappointment on the Sukiyaki), Big Apple donuts which tasted better this time, fried salted-egg crabs...and continue the fun at Max's home :)...we drank and bottom-up like mad. 1 big-sized bottle of carlsberg, 1 bottle of red wine, 1 bottle of chardonnay and Jack Daniel! Man, I luv JD since forever, walloped the whole bottle! And we both ended up in drunken state. Max was terribly drunk and keep banging head against the wall...like how melodramatic a typical drunkard can be. Me? Duh! What else after scolded few foul words and off to sleep. Couldn't be bothered much also or I should say how I LOVE my life currently, RIGHT? We both having some sorta entangled problems, mentally. Suffered from some hangover later but it was alright for me as I'm more alcohol tolerant than Max. That fella passed out and ko-ed completely on top of being not sober at all. Horrible...and we deliberately went all the way to Ikea just to buy wine glasses -_-! Like hell wine can knock off conciousness instantly with a better wine glass...haha. Too bad we all are prone to insane fits and cling to fine dining at the same time. *winks*

Die also must die nicely, I should say.

And today, I'm having pork phobia for the first time in my life. That fella called 2 pots of bak kut teh with braised pork + multiple layers of fat. I swear those porks are the thickest ever you can get in bak kut teh's market, siao one. Like gonna feed some terrestial flesh eating carnivores. Damn filling. Nvm, tong sui was followed up after that lolx. Darn FATTENING in spite of my absenteeism in gym for the past few days. *swoons*

At least, I'm feeling better now and deeeeeeeeeeestressed. *smiles devilishly*

till then.

********

Orgasmic la, yea la...

I conquered 'em all

Indolence kills :(

It's always sad to know that you didn't do your best when you have plenty of time for that. Looking through the exam questions and eveything seems familiar. However, that's all about it and the next thing came to you is emotional shattering, scalp scratching, pencil fiddling, all but none is to lay down your pen on the answer sheet. Sometimes, we just have to blame on our overcomplacency when we foresee something ahead. Between angel and devil ego, we tend to listen to the former when we are prone to laziness and procrastination. And yes, procrastination is seriously a pain in the ass. It kinda reminds me of what my friend wrote on her blog, epiphany/wahyu/takdir or layman term of fate and destiny you may call it. But heck, how can anyone attribute this act of procrastination to the deities? We are supposed to be blamed for our own doings right? Anyhow, I came to know that I have not been working my ass off on studies on this very first semester of mine in my very age! Books are all out of my topics for the past few months until the last day before exam...as usual. Epitome of a slothful college student.

And who am I to whine here since I was the one who didn't try off my best? I deserve all the bad grades for this semester. I swear I can even fail my Chemistry paper today which I think it's stringing between the failing and passing border already. If only I can secure a mark of 16 out of 40 ( like less than half only!) and I'm able to pass with credit la...otherwise really have to slap my ownself endlessly till awakening. Still,the Chem paper today was kinda hard and I don't even have a 100% definite answer for all the questions. Just hoping that I can shamelessly collect some working marks. Hope it isn't that difficult to materialise it. How sad! 16 marks may seem peasy to others but not for me who had never touched Chemistry for more than 3 years already...

Brain's dying

Not the actual PV, but I love Kuraki Mai...too bad she's kind of a goner now. Those days she was the only rival to Hikki and Ayu was not even that famous. Let alone Koda Kumi and Nakashima Mika, they didn't even exist. Anyway, Kuraki Mai is the first ever J-pop female artist that I got hooked on, been listening to her song since Form 1, nearly a grand total of 8 years! Over these years, her image still remains, not much of make over even her hair still looks the same as 8 years ago. Super low profile aye!

This one is Time After Time~hana mau machide~ which released like few years back already. It sounds airy and acoustic mid-tempo.

Nostalgic

Was browsing through some old photos, old comments and old message history...everything seems so fine back then. I was practically smiling from my heart while reminiscing to those has-been's. Too bad things changed and cannot be reverted.

Food for thought, am I better off than the retrospect self? Of course I'm asking myself, not you!

The difference might be subtle but clearly there ARE changes somewhere beneath which I can't even tell. I'm starting to drift away from conciousness. I'm getting less familiar to myself, every movement of mine is getting unpredictable to the complicated self these days. Oh well. I hope it has nothing to do with identity crisis. Best believe that I'm still wide awake to be able to put trust on myself, can I? Maybe I should hesitate...like I don't really trust myself nowadays. Whatever that I told myself not to do, I'd surely ended up doing it and the vice-versa.

See! That's how I'm contradicting my innerself, the ego.

In any case, still cracking my tiny lil' brain on Chemistry paper. It's a mind-boggling challenge. Shall call it a day and continue tomorrow.....brain just begging me to stop, it's already saturated. Even coffee doesn't suffice to keep my perseverance running.

*****

memories

Oldest photo (the one and only I have) of me so far in my lappy. I hate to take photos back then which totally unlike the poser-dom and camwhoring addicted moi now, told you people will change from time to time. And I thought taking photos were blasphemous act...haha how naive! Anyhow, I wasn't an Interact Club member, it's because I had to do some Pendidikan Moral project thus tagged along IC members to an Orphanage home. This is the group photo taken after we completed our quest of the day. Spot the chubby me who nearly got squeezed out from the lens? I was once told that I've occupied too much pixels in it :( to hell with those meanies.....

Dolce Vita?

What more can I ask for in extreme wee hour of Sunday?

Life can't be any better than staying up alone at the isolated 2.50 am whilst indulging in a slice of sinful Chocolate Indulgence and a rather mundane cup of instant coffee which in my humble opinion, taste equally nice as any other coffees serve in overpricing coffee franchise outlets.

Simplicity of enjoyment, little things that spice up my life in this very time, an instant indulgence that follows on by dreamless slumber. Blunder? To hell with it.

Off stress, off emotive, off the worldly wisdom, off the robotic routine, off the unreachable affection, off the sightlessness, off the books...away from eveything but the ego. That's what I called life. Simple as it seems.

Heighten up with the rare bossa-nova, jazz soul and contemporary genre. Sipping the cup of cheap instant coffee with tatty mug. Savouring every mouthful of dense chocolate mousse. It's satiable for the day to come.

Anyhow, it's called the capable of living my own life euphorically like hell you don't need any other to make you feel better. I'm more or less an autonomous one like how I do not potray.

Bless my soul with tranquility and serenity, take my life away to eternal rest if you were to take them away from me.

Whining and being emotional nowadays are too remote and insufficient an outlet of feelings. Am I moving towards a next good level or reverting back to the worse self? Beats me, seriously, my brain is made paralysed in form of stone now. Of 30 words that I go through, 25 of them will slip away. Could be short term memory but I beg to differ, compulsive-oppressive-optional memory lost would be more appropriate to term my disposition. Bah!

ps : and yea, I was supposed to congrat Mark who scored straight As in his recent A-levels
result. All the best in England.*throws confettis silently at a corner with jealousy*


pps : kinda screwed Anthropology, didn't know what I'm writing also. Lack of sleep is evil! My
another hope for A- confirmed went bubblish again. If only I can work harder which I think
I didn't...no point crying over spilled milk now.

Parting shoot:

This is so not my life and not the place I should belong...sometimes, things can be

made better if you share your indulgence and enjoyment with another person

who appreciate. Even if you are only able to taste half a slice of the cake but the happiness gained is more than enough to offset the trivial half-sliced that you won't get to eat. Eat more for yourself and slump off faster, why not make someone to die off with you willingly? Sounds

sicked but true when you finally apprehended the cruelty of blindness in affection. Deep but meaningless.

*****



Some parts are missing. Anyone has second opinion? I know I'm suck in pointless line-sketching but do you think I give damn?


Layering of whipped cream and pastries to perfection

*****

ppps : if you're so convinced that I'm being emo and hiding away at some corner or in my blanket weeping at this point, then you're so wrong. Quit thinking otherwise. Chocolate Indulgence may taste nice but it can also be too filling and overpowering that leads to feeling of disgorgement at the moment you swallow in the last one piece forcefully. The thirst of water afterthat and the remorseful feeling of boosting up weight, sugar level and etc. are just so unloved. That it all left nothing but some stray sticky dirty chocolate and cream smudged all over, yet to be either discarded, cleaned or replaced. Possibly, try a new flavour that is not so sickening next time :)

Life is so simple as it is.

Steamboat love

Wah...this was the worst buffet steamboat I've ever tasted! Restoran Talipon at Kelana Jaya (right opposite Kelana Jaya LRT station). Variety wise, other than the mediocre sized prawns served, others are just plain miserable. Even the desserts are far apart beyond comparison and remote to those in Dataran Mentari. Man, if not because of the grilling thingy! In my humble opinion, JB serves the best buffet steamboat in Malaysia lo! Even the worst one in JB can anytime beat the best one in KL...

Anyways, I spent too much time in gym so was kinda late and they had to wait for me as a result while Charles was left stranded at Kelana Jaya LRT for almost 1 hour due to my fault...he was damn pissed. Mm hou yee see ah...didn't expect Max to come that early today. 5 of us went including Xiao Yee.

After that mediocre dinner, dropped Charles at LRT and we headed to Xiao Yee place at SS15 Pangsapuri and chit-chatted there, well, more of gossiping la...then switched place to their friend, Dennis' place to continue the gossiping. Later, again switched place to poolside...until around 1.30 am! My Anthropology revision terus gone down the drain...

Man, there are so many things happen among those designer students la...endless stories. And I love their courseworks, IF I'm given the talent in drawing. Unfortunately, I'm not.

Contemporary arts are so fabulous! Esp pop art, patch works, line sketching, gothic...ahhh the list goes on....

I so wanna take Art Appreciation next semester la but too bad, the time slot not very flexible and clashes with almost all other subjects *sighs*

Smug

Sometimes, it's better to keep those fantasies in your pocket. Once they got exposed to living daylight, the lose of intensity will slowly steer them to an undesirable ending that you don't wish to see. Eventually, faded and vanished into thin air...

Sekian.

*****

Dedication

She is leaving on a jet plane to another side of the globe by today, another hemisphere on opposite side to be more precise, Tempe, Arizona. We, from don't know each other to hi-bye coursemate to enemy(my bad) to acquaintance to bestie (more than friend but less than lover that kind)...haha, hope you won't feel disturbed by this post, Cheryll.

Anyway, this entry is specially dedicated to you!

Don't forget about our Euro trip, summer trip in the States and etc!

See you next next summer, hopefully! Man, that's gonna be a long time.....

*****

*****

Bon Voyage and take care of yourself over there k? *zillion of hugs and kisses*

Damn, I'm so gonna miss you.

PS : My face looks like elephant from every angle inside...so huge :(

Anomalies

It's funny when I think of it everytime...

I'm extremely bad in judgement sometimes especially towards others that I always thought I'm very good at it. In fact, that could be the silliest joke of the century I proclaim.

The thing is, people that I'm hating or used to hate are often the one who care most about me and get alerted when I'm emo. Oh well, my extent of caring is not too large in degree, just words of console will do by any means. Ain't that hard afterall I supposed.

And I dare to say, I used to hate Cheryll back in those days before we turned bestie. Even the girl whom I used to hate in my class currently approached me after she saw my emo personal message on MSN...she left me soooo speechless and least expected about it.

On a contrary note, people whom I care a lot and love to bit are less sensitive to my emotional swinging. Like how funny right? Maybe I've been thinking and expecting too much from them which I shouldn't be in the first place. Or maybe they are just not the ones that I should give my love and caring to or I've been hiding too much of my feelings to them? Someday they might just throw me a words or two and get me afflicted which in fact further established my statement above...who knows?

Perhaps they are too complicated beyond comprehension or I'm just way too naive to comprehend the meaning of life and relationship...

Mum just called anyways, Grandpa nearly passed away today in specialist centre (he was badly struggling in the ward and almost let out his last breath) but thank god he was saved for the time being. This time, doctor suspect it is cancer of the colon or stomach (probability of 20% upon initial diagnosis) . Bad things are ushering him to the worst situation at once especially this few months. My cousin sister was passed away during my AS final back in last year...I hope my final is not a bad omen to amount to anything bad :( . I'm such a jinx...

I think a lot of my relatives are coming back from overseas soon and my sister as well. God bless him and save him from the bads.

.......after all these, I'm just a smile-coated lifeless soul, if not more. Don't expect me to play around much this season.



*****




"Lim-kay" (Teo-Chew pronunciation)

I rather wear wig

yea...

Yun Nam haircare is definitely a good tricho. expert around for quite sometime and their best 101 marketing strategies is no doubt running to the max.

In fact, they will feed a cow until it is full before they slaughtered it. So, I was fully indulged with their services for a measly Rm 22 INITIALLY. And after gotten all those freebies, screening and services. They started to show their fangs by introducing me with further package which totally cost a bomb, if not nuclear bomb. Fuck wei, RM 6580 for 30 hair treatments O.o . Then I told them I'd consider (actually I was thinking of how to get myself off that ridiculous place). Upon hearing my gentle rejection, their face changed like some sorta Chinese masking opera show. And then, I was brought to see the manager to hear those preaches and blahs...somemore entitled to their GENEROUS 10% discount with my student status. Nearly forced to make deposit on their haircare products...pui luckily I didn't pull out my card to them for shitty hire purchase! Tell you, I won't fork a single cent also...gimme the fucking testers and lemme off! I rather gone bald or wear wig for the time being I guess :( .They are really like syndicate. Despise their customer service attitude. If I'm given with those $ someday, I'll rather visit other branches.

Nabeh!

Yerrr

Shah Alam for shisha on Friday and from that on stranded in Kepong until now :(

Disastrous!

Never even study a single bit on this weekend...

4 more days to Anthropology's final.

God Bless.

Mary Elizabeth Frye wrote...

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

In love with this poem(widely used as funeral lament today)...and it features in Final Fantasy game as well if I'm not mistaken. The musical version is way melancholic and I personally like the Libera's cover. Like momentary of grievance and sorrow flashing before my eyes whenever the song plays. Requiem's what i'm humming, soon to bury my heart and let it rest below the land.

*****

Boulevard of broken dreams

Sien

Finally completed Anthropology presentation and it didn't turn out that well as what I expected. Our scores for fieldwork project is not among the top 2 highest in class. :(

English test result is out, I did some really careless and avoidable mistakes. My thesis statement doesn't match with my topic sentences and concluding statement because I failed to make correction on the TS and CS after I made amendment on one of my topic sentences. And there it goes, 1% compensated which is so dumb to say. -_-

To get at least an A-, 32% out of 40% is needed for my final! WTF...not until miracle happens I guess. Hope Ms Kalai can open her buddha's hands and round up my currently accumulated marks to the nearest round number, kekeke...to increase my possibilities of getting A- , oh well, peace.

I fucking don't believe I met Mr. LEE GUO WEI in SS15. I was totally startled and jaw dropped when I saw him around this area. Anyways, he's my secondary classmate and we used to join venture in St John Ambulance's marching team, organising camping and so on. Little did I expect that I will literally bump into him at this kinda occasion. He's working as one of the WWF(World Wildlife Fund) fundraising team members to inducepersuade random people to subscribe to their credit card based auto debit donating scheme. Man, asking for donation still need to specify so much, in my humble opinion, donate by real CASH is the most practical way of all. Am I right?

Duh whatever...

Of papa kedana, narcissism and vanity

I'm practically on the verge of bankruptcy now as a result of over-indulged in retail theraphy for the past few weeks. Damn told you I hate megasales! Ah screw it, it's only like once in a bluemoon and why am I start bitching here? I bought more than 10 tees and shirts, 2 shorts and some odd stuffs which cost around I-Do-Not-Wish-To-Know. Cos my old garments are totally oversized, i'm discarding all the XLs currently and welcoming the Ms and Ls :)

And I suspect a lot of my jeans have already oversized also since my waist was like 36-38 half a year ago. Now? It's confidential still but of course it has to be anytime slimmersmaller than that*floats into air*. The remaining pain in ass are the ass (pun intended) , protruding tummy, monsterous dumpy calves and freaking men's boobs! Saggy as they may look but effing hard to get rid to the firm end. Guess I really need to do freeweight in time to come which I not very keen on currently.

Man, have I told you all that those medicines prescribed by the dermatologist simply kick ass! Like some sorta wizard drugs that yield apparent result in less than a day. Whatever dead sea mask, skin lifting, antiaging, antioily skin care products that you have now, chuck them aside. Resort to a proper specialist is the bestest way. I no longer having stray, oily and gross pimples and acnes bugging out my face anymore. It's only the 3rd day of medication. I'm gonna pray and worship dermatologist from this entry on. However, there IS a trade off to every good thing. I'm suffering from dry scalp now and dry scalp means DANDRUFFS. Fucking say bye bye to my black tees for the time being.

Not forgetting, Yun Nam Haircare called! I have an appointment with them this Friday. I'm entitled to 1 thoroughly scalp screening, 2 hair treatment sessions and 1 set of haircare kit. With all these for a measly RM 22 nia! Super wu hua! But the drawback is, I have the omen that they are going to preach me further for signing up their exorbitant monthly package eventhough the result is significant and extremely effective. Come on, do you expect an uptight budget bound college student like me to fork out a few grands monthly just to have few more strands of hair rooted? Not until I found a proper job after graduated. Nah, screw them, I am just gonna carry a mere RM 22 in my wallet and see what can they do to me. CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. Learn this line! *roll eyes*

I tell you this is all karma, it goes around and comes around. The more I'm telling myself to tighten up my wallet, the more inducements of flowing out are gonna cast upon my moolahs! It's psychic and crazy. So I'm not gonna make any rubbish statement of saving money anymore even if I do, oh well. Let's make it this way perhaps, I AM GONNA BE SPENDTHRIFT!!!!! -_-

So it was a damn contented meal I had just now, Summer BBQ steamboat at Dataran Mentari, we're gonna try out all the steamboat eateries in KL soon! Followed on with shisha, man, what a nice day to start off my SAVING plan. Fortunately my date with Ian tomorrow has cancelled, if not the rate of flowing out will just increase by 3 folds :/

PS : lapsed into the last week before my first final paper (10th of August NEXT Friday, ANT 101), this weekend is nothing but study and isolating away in room only. Miss Lim is so goddess cos she reduced the exam topics from 18 to 9 topics only! Wish Miss Jane can do the same to Chemistry as well, 17 topics wei! T.T

I feel so linear and boring towards the days ahead until the 18th. Freaking predictable...robotic.

*****

Da medications...

Caught u! For licking your monitor (Strawberry Sorbet)

Love is in the air :p