On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning |
| One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl. Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert. Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose. But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird. "Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone. "Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?" "Not really." "Your favorite type, then?" "I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts." "Strange." "Yeah. Strange." "So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?" "Nah. Just passed her on the street." She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning. Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world. After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed. Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart. Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards. How can I approach her? What should I say? "Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?" Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman. "Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?" No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that? Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me." No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about. We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had. I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd. Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical. Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?" Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened. One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street. "This is amazing," he said. "I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the 100% perfect girl for me." "And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream." They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle. As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily? And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?" "Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do." And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west. The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully. One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank. They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love. Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty. One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew: She is the 100% perfect girl for me. He is the 100% perfect boy for me. But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fourteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever. A sad story, don't you think? Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her. *村上春樹 (The Elephant Vanishes, 1981) |
We have a quota for unintelligent statements to release once in a period of time. Let's look at our fairshare this month,
1. The Banning of Yoga
2. "Masculinised" dressing among women is...forbidden? Hello?
With all my respect to the beloved official religion, these are really titchy things that should be omitted for the sake of betterment in other major issues. Over the years, the sanctity of religious issues have been twisted and toyed around by a minority of people with ulterior motives. Why do these people so intolerant to things that have so little significance to their religion? They are not even anywhere close to jeopardizing anything. Universally (I assume), we are taught to practice religion by heart. Clinically speaking, by practicing certain aesthetic body movements for wellness will not result in the erosion of tenet, why can't people just face it? They are not 100 years ahead of time so I think they should stfu. Women have all their rights to dress in whatever they want so long as they feel comfortable and why should those people ever bother? Well I'm quite sure that by putting on apparels that cover most assets all the while can cause inconvenience like heatstroke (sorry to say but our beloved country is right in the middle of all latitudes so how can we not love the fact that we have plenty of sunshine through out the whole year?), prone to get tripped, restriction in anatomical movements etc. To sum up, we cannot tell a person's sexuality by his/her ways of dressing. Physical appearance does not usually speak what's in the heart! Furthermore, what's wrong with being homosexual nowadays?
Dear chauvinistic leaders, it's time to ditch your sense of gender superiority and come down to earth. This is not about being pious or not to a particular religion, this is about the practice of pragmatism in accordance with the footsteps of time. I believe it's currently 2008AD not 600AD. Please evolve.
And these principles of Hadhari are being promoted ever since Father of Independence era :
TOEFL (check)
*cue song of victory*
*throws confetti*
*waves pompon*
4 hours.
Hard ass gluing.
Backbreaking.
Voila...
Emancipation!
I freaking woke up at 5 am today just to cross border. Fucking jam at 6 am early in the morning, the traffic jam and the ever sluggish checkpoint queue. Reached too early at King's Arcade actually but managed to start the test earlier. I swear I was on the verge of giving up during the reading test, you know what kinda topic they forced people to read? Archaelogy, Anthropology, Biology, Chemistry...like HELLO no better topic is it? Ever heard of light and after dinner topic? I nearly tossed the whole computer out of the window and wanted to end the test earlier. All the sections were answer-able except for speaking part where the time given was NOT ENOUGH. Motherfuck, 45 seconds for 1 question HELLO? You think I speak Tamil?
Anyhow, immediately after that I went back to JB cos too tired to go on with other activities such as shopping and the like. The fact that it's Saturday made it even discouraging. And everyone's having their final exams, no fun shopping alone. Well, actually I was not very willing to spend SGD since it's so freaking sky high of late. Might as well enjoy forex relief in my homeland. So I headed to CS after that, that place is incorrigible. It's like southern version of Sungei Wang. Needless to explain further, you know what I mean.
Went for passport, visa and student ID scanning, 4 pieces cost freaking 13 bucks! Easy job, just scan, click and save, abbacadabrahocuspocusexpectopatronumwingardiumleviosa RM 13 *ka...ching*! Sap sam, tiga belas, trece, zap sa! Gone in split second! Daylight robbery case. Then I realized later on that one of the picture files is actually corrupted TNLM. But well, on my way jazzing around the mall, I met Janet and later followed by Eugene (CS is a place of high collision rate with people you know), talked like we never talked before for 1.5 hours at no means of stopping, like literally. Rushed back to grandpa house. Took the car and went CS again to fetch frog. Then makan at Yew's cafe which was rather yucky. I never liked spaghetti, particularly hate bolognaise sauce. Out of extreme boredom, we explored the newly opened Danga City Mall which I shall give a 1-word-off conclusion, pathetic. Will zhap lap before long according to my common sense. They don't even need fengshui master to determine the position of their fate cos like I said, for sure closure in time to come is inevitable, and it will not be long from now.
Muahaha...I'm effing tired now. Don't know what the hell I'm sprouting. I think I will score badly in TOEFL. Believe me. I almost fell asleep halfway around it and in the end I thought I just couldn't be bothered as long as I meet the minimum requirement. Seriously the test resembles SAT I in many ways. Killed all the kicks. Not good. Triste. Fuck. K. Thx. Bye.
Muy bien, I've done my examen de la Español finally. All my worries were absolutely unnecessary because the test was very easy. I kind of screw up the oral test due to the effing sore throat and flu but well...it's over now! And I scored full marks in translation section, so flattered! Anyways thanks for their benevolence also la. Muchas gracias Andres, hasta el proximo año!
Then again, the thought of having TOEFL on this coming Saturday sunk in and gorged away the cookie of joy! Now I'm worried again. Haven't prepared a shit yet. Totally clueless about the format like HELLO?! 2 more days and I'll be bloody screwed from ass right up to brain.
..........
While enjoying my holiday, I need to crack my brain on 4 admission essays. Lotsa brainstorming will be involved. But no inspiration to kick off as yet, nil, nada, none, zero, cero...so I guess more agony than delight.
However,
after this week I'll be totally FREE from tests! Liberation! Yay! Although there are still lotsa applications to do but still at least I can do them AT HOME, 家, 屋企，casa!
Fuck virus infinity lo, why must they hit me at this time OF ALL TIME when I'm in the middle of so many tests huh? Huh? HUH? I'm still going home and acing my test even if you try to put me down like jelly! Roar.
Nothing beats leaving this mierda place afterall.
Incoherent I know haha.
Wohoho, I skipped work today all thanks to the me who couldn't wake up on Friday morning. Sounds like cliche to you no? I don't know I guess I should just let pass the entire thing about fitting more moolahs in pocket and ready to see the world afterall that job is really bootless. I've learned nothing from it but sore eyes after hours of gluing those eyes in front of that tiny little world on the otherside called the monitor, and sore fingers from all the numerical data keying. I have excellent speed in typing numbers now (come challenge me!) but I think the longer I stick on to this field the higher chance of becoming a carbon copy of Carol Beer is quite high before long. Whatever it is, I still have 2 more days to report in on next week before I got unbound from the contract. What I'll definitely miss about this job is the colleagues, the SPAREST work schedule I ever encountered and well...the pay rate la, it's consider quite high in its kind compared to working as a Starbucks' barista or some really cheesy jobs that require you to work your ass off like donkey. So much for praising this job but I didn't reap much from it also la since I've been so lazy to work full time and rather spend my time idling in front of monitor or staring into blank at home thinking what should I eat for brunch/hightea/dinner/supper. No breakfast la of cos, how to wake up at that kinda ungodly hour, even if so, the only thing I'd think about upon waking up in the morning is to sleep for another 1 hour and usually it would gone up to another whooping 3-4 hours when lunch hour is already long gone. I love alarm with snooze function that's it and yes I got no life.
Speaking of life, my life ahead in 2009 is still pretty on the undetermined side. Part of me wanna continue with AUP but part of me don't. And bless your wisdom, the latter dominates. College life after Sunway is so dull and uneventful. I can't justify where the problem lies but there seems to be a little lump of problem blossoming somewhere around the pursuit of so called campus life or well maybe like what I used to say, I'm misfit just because I'm obnoxious afterall cos I eat more salts than they eat rice, no no no I don't wanna sound arrogant but it's just that the clique for me is missing and I'm the one who has all the problems to deal with instead of them. You know the organic relationship we used to foster with people around us during high school times is not there, none. We share tips, do assignments, discuss about tutorials, organize events, find break partners/go home partners, hi-bye etc. Things that bring us together are so mechanical that there's no room for liveliness apart from that to unfold. It's only confine within the boundary of college and matters pertaining to it that's all. Alright, I'm the one who's having this problem so I shouldn't be ranting any further to showcase my weakness in socializing. But seriously I don't really care that much since long ago and I have more important things to worry about. In that case, I probably won't be in this divine college anymore by next year so I don't really need any advance enrolment. Gonna sign and declare a 8 months break to AUP office for personal reasons, again damn mafan.
What I'm planning to do before I transferred is probably take up a serious Español course with formal assesments at Aula Cervantes. Haih if that's the case I may need to shift house again just like how someone whom I know described, 孟母三迁 (Confucius and his mother were leading a nomadic life for sakes of his educational well being). Sounds too heavy aye? Well you don't need to understand in any case haha.
N/B : I must take up my long desired PADI course this time no matter what. Nothing's gonna stop me already :)
Not sure whether those aforementioned ideas are of good ones but for sure I have got nothing to lose no matter what is the consequence. Don't you realize they are all value-added? Lovely isn't it? And EVEN IF I'm forced to do Orgo I and Bio II on January 2009 it will still be fine for me afterall my academic transcript is not gonna include this heavenly duo by the time I submitted my applications. Will it be a wiser choice if I take the both of them at the States instead? Perhaps a change of environment will do good on my studies which I believe it's valid after badly screwing my General Chem I & II under the same circumstance/people/place. Now I'm soooooooo regret of not putting enough effort in General Chem I & II back then as I was completely oblivious about them being my core major subjects and now that they are the obstacle of my college application process. Definitely not a good thing. I should just go and fuck myself this time.
The best thing is, my parents are totally cool about it. Well no bad comments from them so I assume that's it. What they stress is for me to really think twice before I made any determinative decision in fear of history repeating itself again which does not deserve a mention here since some of the people have already knew what's it about. Anyhow, I feel blessed but that's not gonna stop me from making long rants and endless complaints about college application process. It is the most tedious paperwork ever I swear. How should I kick off with my why-I-choose-your-divine-college essay and that part to fish for recommendation letter? I don't mingle around with lecturers/advisors and what's worst, my face is one of the most easily forgettable in college T.T. I know it's time to break the ice and pretend to be very close with someone whom I hardly even talked to this time. Ugh, a very shitty thing to do for the sake of future.
On a completely irrelevant note, Dido's new album is finally out after much anticipation. Well I think her fan base has shrunken and much of it migrated to Jem's or NB's. Still, she is fabulous although she's on the road less taken and rather low profile all these years but those are things that made her worth all the respects especially to those who feel helpless listening to songs of Beyonce, Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears (wtf)...looping over and over again on air, don't you just wanna swallow arsenic so badly? Fret not, here's the light! I've been telling my friends how disgusting those radiostations in Malaysia namely Fly FM and Hitz FM for these two stations only designed to play songs by Rihanna, Beyonce, PCD, Metrostation, Akon, Pink, Chris Brown...not that they are bad but it's annoying to keep on playing it in each 30 minutes interval. Like hell no better songs to play. Don't they have some sort of policy to not to repeat on playing the same song within few hours at least like Power 98 and Perfect 10 in Singapore? Let's see, maybe radio media in our country has reached bottleneck? Now, even Mix FM is playing Rihanna's...*role eyes to the back of head*. Shallowness. And don't even make me started on Chinese radio stations which are tad too much of talking instead of playing songs and why must they be mainly of Cantonese medium and sometimes a little bit of Mandarin? It's so rojak and do they not know that majority of Chinese in southern and northern part of peninsular Malaysia can't understand shits about Cantonese? Bummer.
My shallow conclusion for this album can only be narrowed down into one word : quiet. More for emo babies. See, she doesn't even appear on her own album cover! That little spaceman is so cute right? But does it reminds you of the beginning part of that "boom de ah da boom de ah da" commercial ad on Discovery Channel?
You know what is the thing that all Malaysians could have done long ago but we didn't?
FEED MAGGOTS TO ALL STREAMYX STAFFS!
I know this post ain't gonna boost my bandwidth but I need all you people out there to prepare globs of fat and juicy maggots and DO THE RIGHT THING! Super volcanic now. The fucking connection hasn't been great ever since months ago and still persisting at no signs of getting better you see. What are we waiting?
On a heavier note,
i'm typing out this entry in flaccid muscles. Every force lay upon those keys now can be the one last drop of strength before I kicked the bucket. Therefore I'm risking my life to finish this entry, and youuuuuuuu are bound to read.
My studio assignment mark is very earth shattering. Uber disheartening. No more A I guess. And for the love of god, who the fuck care about art appreciation since it is there to ruin lives.
Oh and please don't invite me to any ENO-worthy meals anymore! I'm sick of the taste of ENO after every meal. And when was the last time I ate modestly? Can't fucking remember!
Life after final hasn't been very good so far, in fact, more energy needed to be consumed each and everyday which lovingly reminds me of the need to make a trip to the embassy tomorrow before 11 am. Totally blasphemous working hour where to find huh? Hate dealing with intricate applications as they make me wanna swallow arsenic so badly. Red tape is seriously driving me nuts.
Much of blessings, tomorrow is a longggggggggggggggg day. So as Friday. So as the whole of next week until the end of my 3rd liberation - TOEFL. Work work work, study study study, sleep sleep sleep, eat eat eat. Endless of shits. So much for leading healthy lifestyle but bah! Long gone.
I wish I was at home!
I don't like this place, it's so mierda!
As you can see time REALLY flies. I think someday when those scientists finally get those dirts outta their heads, they'll realise how the usage of "year" had been superannuated. And so the introduction of "light year" as standard unit to measure 12 months in a set. Told you, I foresee things that you can't see. Let's cross our fingers for light year era in time to come!
Basically within this 2 weeks I'll be exam-bound. 1st will be my final which is by far the most relaxed one can you believe? Tips are all given even there are only 4 chapters to crack that little brain overall. Still...duh we're humans and bound to be lazy. As a matter of fact, when more tips are given indicates the more time for me to procrastinate. Duh...again we're talking about humans here. So yea, instead of mugging like other kiasu counterparts, here I am purging what's inside into cyberspace like hell there are tonnes of eyeballs poring on this tiny little unknown whiny journal of an academic incompetent. That subject is owned at any rate, it's just a matter of acing or not, and not that it really matters now. I might need to tell myself to get over and move on eventhough how much I'd struggled before. You know, just cross the bridge when you come to it.
So I'm pretty good with first thing that will get me liberated. Now there's the second one which I completely oblivious about its importance or maybe existence altogether haha. Si! My examen de la lengua Español which will take place 2 weeks later. People have been telling me how easy it is but as much as I'm learning, it's no where near easy compared to the already mastered languages. There's no such thing as easy in learning process according to our ancestors (pls don't roll your eyes can?). Well, unless I learn it from scratch in tabula rasa WHICH lovingly brings out the practicality of the word, impossible.
And then, will be sitting for TOEFL 2 days after examen de la lengua Español in Singapore that came a little too late but it's fine. Can somebody tell me why is it only so little time slot allocated for our Tanah Air? Or is the trend taking sides on TOEFL instead of IELTS currently after the so called economy slowdown? (i dunno but just wanna find some excuses to prove my statement is totally valid) Just go for MUET already, cheap (RM 50 or so I've been told) and universally recognised also! Why ah? I seriously have a thing on taking any form of examination in Singapore after all the annoyances caused by SAT eons ago. Do you know how fucking early I need to report in for TOEFL? 8 fucking 30 am! Like whoa, I need to get up at 5am, reach custom at 6.45 am, take bus (if nobody willing to give tumpang), put up with traffic jam and the long queue at immigration clearance, locate the place (yes I don't fucking know where the hell is King's arcade, what's best, it's around Bukit Timah, a MRT-barren land just because that place is upmarket and people dwelling there DON'T take public transport). As a foreseeable consequence, I will reach there with 1/2 of breath left whilst leaving sweat dripping all over and the next thing I know will be facing an idiot box with headphone attached to me doing the test and probably in the end, I'll turn that idiot box into debris. End of story.......yea right. I am not gonna go for a second round for that damn test. It's not cheap. Then again, can somebody tell me how's the test like? As in the format and whatever that will be coming out cos I'm totally clueless.
So right after gotten the TOEFL result, it'll be the beginning of another chaos. University application. Believe me, I've seen friends emo-ed, wept, pulled the advisor's hair and all sorts of breakdown hoohahs over those application issues now and then. In order to avoid such catch 22 situation, I will try to expand my hopes by applying to 4 universities in 1:2:1 ratio. 1:2:1 meaning, 1 university with low acceptance rate, 2 with moderate acceptance rate and 1 with high acceptance rate. The personal favourite ranking will also go according to the same sequence. Not like it's totally cost free when it comes to those applications, they are charging at a minimal of 30 USD, some high ranked/peacocked universities will burn you up to 60 of those dollars. Worse still, ringgit to dollar is very much on depreciation currently where the reason still remain a mystery. Almost forgot, I need to attach a copy of why-I-choose-your-divine-university essay together with my application form for few of those universities. Why so damn bloody mafan one? Not like I'm applying for Ivy League also. Sibeh mafan.
After the completion of all academic assessments. I'll be heading for a 1 month stint in some very nice place around the planet. Obviously, a break. All I can say is, that place will seriously take my breath away, literally and figuratively. By imagining a good 3 days overland needed into that place is enough to kill some of the kicks but I hope the outcome is satiable and as wonderful as the decriptions of that place suggest. I'm going to altitude with harsh temperature that can go as low as negative 25 centigrade! Anyways, that said place is not my sole destination out of the entire trip yet it costs the MOST. By MOST I mean very much, in monetary sense, for some obscure reasons. The very bad thing is, the entire getaway is self-financed *beams in pride*, well maybe that's an overstatement already but at least 3 quarters of it I reckon. Thus, by the beginning of 2009 I will more or less live in extreme poverty and total liquid drained out state. Le sigh. But what I'll be getting in return is value added I assume since I'm always a skeptic about spending money on material possessions. Never mind la, tomorrow will take care of itself afterall. *sobbing behind curtain*
Really can't wait for all those academical liberations to launch. I'm so done with 2008! I know for Jan 2009 there will be bigger challenges ahead such as *coughs*organic chemistry*coughs*Bio II*coughs* but to hell screw it and give me a goddamn break you slimey spoilsports! For 2008 at least. We're good? Ok.
Bien bien, I've mouthed what I wanted to mouth for the day. Gonna turn in now. Buenas noches, amigos!
