Weekend thoughts 2

And Benjanmin says " life is like a game of cards, the hands that dealt you is determinism, the way you play it is free will".

Future will always be there, it's just unevenly distributed. The world is fair and we do enjoy certain degree of free will in hands. When we talk about free will, why should we whine and cry the hell over issues of life? Aren't we all chosen what to do in the first place? Therefore, we should also have the guts to be responsible over the outcome be them good or bad.

Not like someone is pointing a gun over your little brain threatening for point blank forcing you into committing whatever it is. Everything happens for a reason. When the next time you try to seek comfort from someone else over your problems, sit back and think whether you are deserved for that problem itself or not prior to any further.

Forget about the crap of seeking religious shelter also cos according to Karl Max when you have religion, you are emotional imbalanced. If there's no god but your own god, then why we need so many religions for? If your religion is the greatest the almighty the superior then why are you still judgemental? If all that I'm saying are blasphemous and I should go to hell, then you should be more eligible to leave for hell cos you are no god and technically you can't sentence verdict over me. If you simply want me to rattle this on...they are endless.

Digressed. Anyways, there's no problem with other people before you look into yourself to see the core. It's always lies in there, somewhere inside here, H-E-A-R-T. You understand what I mean.

Thus, I deserve my own demise as well.

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History court trial on next week, what should a historian wear? I'm the historian of my council and I've seen other group wearing fancy costumes like french maid gown, slaves dresses, fedora, wigs and came all dressed in full suits! Very kua zhiong lor, at first I thought it was just a normal run of the mine mocked trial, then these people very pandai they went and took hassles to rent fancy gowns, so kiasu! Now the pressure has been put upon our trial next week, the final week of this semester! What should I wear?! How am I gonna withstand another 3 hours of constant stoning without the freedom to drink, to laugh, to move around during the trial process? And lastly, WHERE AM I SUPPOSE TO FIND TIME TO STUDY WHEN EVERYTHING CHUNK IN ON THE FINAL WEEK? Very mind boggling indeed. Haih, this weekend marks another week has gone by dalam sekelip mata, maka, selangkah dekat dengan finals!

@.@

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Then today I was so pandai pak pandir! I thought of submitting my journal before the extra class starts which I did not mean to go at all that obviously was a wrong move! I went to SOLLA and rang the bell, one lecturer came answer and I ask for the availability of Miss M. cos I thought she sure wouldn't be there and I could just put my journal in her pigeon hole. Then to my horror, she was there and readily available! I was like shit, this is no turning back, how am I supposed to explain when she ask me why don't I hand in the journal in class later. My expectation came true, she did ask why! And as a person who sucks in telling lie of cos my statements were rather illogic and handicapped, she knew that I was lying but oh well I can't be bothered right now...I just hope she won't be mm song at me and fail me again in final cos she kept asking me "your date is more important than your study eh...?" with that kinda doubtful expression...I swear it was fucking awkward for me! I wish I can just hide in the pigeon hole for good or minimize myself into something that to the size of dust particle! Diu...sigh I should account for my mishaps! A totally wrongful move! Bad impression means bad grade! She won't even give my any kesian marks now...and I have to hit the gym freaking early and leave before 5pm now lest will bump into her and meet a series of awkwardness lor! Cos she usually will be there at the same gym as me after touch down from work like around 5 something to 6! I'm gonna switch soon...cibai! See how far my luck goes.