Pretentious

It's very obvious, like VERY obvious that I'm not quite in the mood of late. They realised, but pretend to be normal. The frustrations beneath got to be more apparent. They won't ever sense if I don't go overboard. I guess I'm just another step closer to breakdown. It's so sick to think of what's happening around can be so disheartening. I don't care even if I'm forlorn but don't shit on my head for god's sake. Respect my worth and leave me alone is better than constantly knocking my door to inspect my disposition towards them. Sad to say, I can't guarantee it will be better off. I'm chilling and freezing...the world is so cold and frigid. I feel like moving to the sun, sun salutation may cure me perhaps but inside still bleeding. Tissue won't be able to fix it anyhow. I can't help but feeling damn valley sad when I came to the notion that even the ones who are close to my daily can be that pretentious also. Why must they pretend when they can see it? It's way too conspicuous for their naked eyes to SEE. I don't want them to pretend. I really not born in favour of siding hypocrisy. I can seriously tear off the mask of a hypocrite if I want. That's what I hate the most. I think no one will like it either. And now look, I'm so ordinary just like any other people out there. I'm not made of steel, I ain't a transformer.

To certain someone with initial T or F. I hope you cease reading my blog and thinking otherwise you thought I may be thinking. You can't fathom my mind, not even myself able to do that. But now, I would like to dedicate this paragraph specially for you, a message to my old pal before I turn green :

First of all, if you think those stuffs immobilized you. Buy a bigger table or throw away that pile of stuffs altogether for all I care.

Secondly, I don't know what is your problem but I got no problem at my end at all. I've been thinking of how to get those stuffs from you. If you think it's really inconvenient, pass those stuffs to our friend with initial M, I will TT the $ that I SUPPOSED to give you in exchange of those stuffs. No worry. I know it's not the $ that matters but you see the problem is I'm way more pragmatic than you think. So you can jolly well take it and kiss yourself goodbye.

Thirdly, no point telling people how well grown you are now. No more childishness and stupidity? A verbal statement ever valid and suffice to amount to a justifiable personality? You can't be kidding your life out of me. Knowing full well that you won't go any far, oh well, you think by treating me that way is gonna shatter me or what? I've seen worse my girl, been there done there, this is not even the lowest extreme of my life yet. So now tell me do you really a big girl already? I'm afraid that I'm gonna beg to differ unless you can prove to me you can get over this in a sensible and wise manner.

In any case, hereby wishing you a very happy birthday in advance in case I forgot or you might have thought that I deliberately forget...you can be very superstitious.

I really hope we can turn back time and hang out like last time. We are besties and buddies aren't we?

Should really get yourself a piece of mind before you fire off anymore statement to me ok?

PS : Alright, I've got a lot of entangled thoughts and personal problems awaiting to be resolved. This is only part of the division, if you think this is gonna bring me down drop me dead, you're so wrong. Like I said, my endurance level is sky high. But I can't succumb to it when all bad things usher in at once. By "ALL" I mean really a lot, not just a puny matter as stated above. Tristan Ng is not that weak afterall. I can't even remember when was the last time I wept, it should be years ago pertaining to the lost of a close one, my godsister.