Retro

While I was munching on my edamame just now, I couldn't help but frowned like there was a serious cramping on my facial movement. Nono, don't get me wrong, it's not the taste of edamame changed. Although it has been sitted inside the freezer for months but they still taste nice like just freshly plucked from one of the many farms in Japan. However, I did it naturally like being widely possessed by involuntary muscles. Then I was told that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. If that's so, why didn't I smile?

I don't know why but I hardly smile these days as was noticed by one of my old co-worker today. She was saying that I've changed a bit, like more melancholic than the cheerful happy go lucky half-a-year-ago me. Monkey business is totally my business. Reborn living clown is what potraying childish side of me, which glad to say that, more prominent, back then.

Things have been drastically changed in less than half a year span, like whenever I look back, things always seem to be better, life was less complicated, better memories, mood cheerier, easily contented...just like grass is always greener on the other side, and if those are true, I must be falling into a cesspool of declining self worth. So deep into an abyss, lost my way home. I deserve for my own demise I guess.

So many times, trying to raise both the ends of my lips, but well they still can't succumb to the gravity force. Been exerted a lot of efforts to hitch on the utmost smiling but no longer as genuine as before. When you were a child, all you need is very little to make you smile...why then my face is now sour and bitter?

Where has it gone?

Gone with my lifeless fed-up soul and never be back again?

God, please put a smile on my face again if you could hear me.