Ranting only
Oh what a perfect time to blog,4:15 am,I was alone in my room.Miraculously,I'm not feeling beat at all since afternoon.Too much of potential energy I supposed.Who cares!My ear still stucking for reason that yet to be dianogsed.So sad.I should be able to hear everything at this point of time until I realise how important every single decible meant so much for me.I love music just like my overflow passion towards food that subsequently shaped me today.If I can ever get through this,I shall cherish my hearing from that on,all the time before I can lose it once again.
Mum's advice few hours later still echoing,it goes like "u must take care of ur ear ah,sleep earlier and dun sit in front of the computer too long..."
Oh shit,it alarmed me with a small tiny piece of note floating in my mind that maybe I should sleep earlier today.Somehow get hooked on all the websites I'm browsing and browsed.Till late,this hour,I'm still like an ape that full of vitality,physically exhausted but mentally isn't.Caffein overdosed?Maybe due that cuppa teaccino I sipped then.FUCK!I missed my parents and friends in JB,I got a sudden urge to record down all my parents' "do's and don't's"...and listen to them over and over again until I get fed up of it.WHY?
Yea,please be reminded that when the result reached at the mail box which is approx. 380KM away from me,plenty of do's and don't's will be there waiting...that's the part that I feel so bad,I didn't study much for A2 mock.Have been partying and clubbing too much it seems.I shouldn't have wasted their hard-earned money on these.Shame on me.Guiltiness is inevitable.
Mum rang again just now asking me to go seek for an ENT specialist on my own.Reluctantly,I agreed but still...lotsa entangle thoughts.Just feel like asking them to come up right away and bring me personally.Manja huh?Fuck off,what's wrong for being manja at my very last teen-age of 19?Me and my parents are bonded so close and abstract that you can't even see it.Can you?C'mon tell me whatever covalen bond,chemical bond,James Bond for all you can,BUT menage bond is too complex that you can't easily visualise in forms of connectible alphabets.
Screwed up seriously,I don't even know who to resort to at this point.Which medical centre should I go?SJMC,SyMC,KJMC,UH,ENT clinic,Pantai...???Only then I realise how dependant I am all the while and well-protected whilst having a so warm shelter to stem the tide.What have I contibuted so far in return for all the deeds they'd given to me.Shamefacedly,I can only whisper none or hardly few which are too remote.
I'm still too naive enough to comprehend the real meaning of life anyway.Yet I always convince myself that I should seek for deeper,think deeper.I'm not a shallow person anyhow.I'm not easily fulfilled.Sometimes,I may seem to be accepting everything without spouting any refusals,innocently or blindly follow what others expect me to do albeit I've been pushing myself so hard to move forward.At least,it gives me lotsa cereberation and gret matters that I'm seriously lacking of.I'm constantly leaping one step ahead to successful ending point.I learn everything out of nothing,something and everything.I'm not the one that you should belittle...cos deep in,you are shallow enough to be a judgemental person that I shouls have in the other way round put my eyes downward on you(which obviously so far below me can ever imagine).
Alright,over-ranted it seems.I should get onto my nest and drift away to dreamland now.
Bye to none.
